


Handle Me

by flipmeforward (vinterdrog)



Series: Handle Me 'verse [1]
Category: Glee
Genre: Boypussy, Cunnilingus, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Self-Harm, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-31
Updated: 2012-10-08
Packaged: 2017-11-14 05:37:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/511891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vinterdrog/pseuds/flipmeforward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><em>Written for <a href="http://glee-kink-meme.livejournal.com/30710.html?thread=38471926#t38471926">this prompt</a> on the GKM.</em> Blaine breaks up with Kurt because Kurt has a pussy. Kurt is ashamed over his anatomy, and finally settles for never finding someone who’ll love him completely. Cue Sebastian.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into Русский available: [Handle Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/939955) by [kristinalemma](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kristinalemma/pseuds/kristinalemma)



> This fic has been podficced by the lovely Rose, and the audio files can be found [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/896567) (seriously, ao3, it's nice with the 'inspired by' feature and all, but to have the podfic link show up at the end of the epilogue is less than ideal...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Betas for this story are [shawolxaddict](http://shawolxaddict.livejournal.com/) and [bononoh](http://bononoh.tumblr.com/). There are mentions and discussions of past self-harm in this story, but nothing graphic. This fic is not Blaine-friendly.

“This isn’t working,” Blaine says, putting down the glue and the paper.

“Of course not, honey,” Kurt mumbles, without taking his eyes off of where he’s aligning two different sheets of paper. “I told you to use the glue stick.” It’s the beginning of summer, and they’re up in Kurt’s room, making a graduation scrapbook. Or rather – Kurt is making one, Blaine helps by putting the photos on heavier paper and look pretty while doing it.

“No, Kurt, that’s... not what I mean,” Blaine says. “Look at me,” he pleads. Kurt looks up, reluctantly.

“What’s not working then? I told you, you can go play Xbox with Finn if you’d rather.”

“ _Kurt_.” It’s something in his voice, in his expression, that gives Kurt a hunch of where this conversation is heading. It is not a pleasant direction. He swallows.

“What?” he asks.

“Us,” Blaine says. Kurt closes his eyes.

He has known this was coming, has waited for it for months, but he’d hoped they would have more time. Had hoped Blaine wouldn’t dump him _just yet_.

“Is this because...” he asks, and flickers his gaze downwards for a second. He knows that Blaine knows what he’s asking. It’s an unnecessary question, Kurt can guess the answer, but still, he has to ask.

Blaine looks like he wants to cry. “I...” he starts, then stops. Opens his mouth again, closes it again. “Yes,” he says, finally, as if deciding that Kurt deserves the truth. “Kurt, I’m sorry,” he says then. “But it’s not just that, it’s... you’re going to New York, and---”

“I didn’t get in,” Kurt interrupts, voice tense from trying not to have a breakdown.

“But you’re still going, whether it be now or in a year,” Blaine presses. “And I don’t even know if I...” but Kurt tunes him out. He doesn’t want to hear it. He stares down at his papers, at the black and red acid free fifteen by fifteen inch sheets with white dots, thinks that it’s a good thing that he still hasn’t glued any pictures of Blaine, or himself _and_ Blaine, into the scrapbook yet. _The best for last_.

He can’t tell how he wanted this conversation to turn out. He doesn’t know if it’s better to have your boyfriend of one and a half years, your first love, and your high school sweetheart, dump you _because_ of your weird anatomy, or have him dump you _despite_ of it. He does know that the _combination_ of the two sucks. This wasn’t what Kurt expected.

He _had_ expected it to end, though. He knows you can’t be in a sexual relationship with someone who asks you to keep your underwear on when you go to bed, someone who doesn’t want to touch you, ever.

“Kurt, you’re my best friend,” filters through to Kurt’s brain, and he snaps his head up.

“I think you should go,” he says, and he’s surprised at how calm he sounds. Blaine stops talking.

“Kurt,” he tries, but Kurt interrupts him.

“Like, _now_.” He stands up and starts shuffling all the papers and photos together, not caring if they glue together or crease. Blaine winces, he knows how careful Kurt is about these things usually. He reaches out to help, but Kurt drags the things away from him before he can assist in saving the scrapbook.

“You know where the door is,” Kurt says, with one final look at Blaine. He starts throwing the things into his scrapbook box, knowing he’ll regret this later, but right now he really can’t bring himself to care. He sees in the corner of his eye how Blaine reaches out for him, but he backs away, eyes still firmly on the box. He can hear Blaine sigh, but then he finally understands that Kurt is serious, because he stands too, and walks to the door.

“I’ll... see you,” Blaine says, tentatively. He waits a beat to see if Kurt replies, and when he doesn’t, Blaine leaves. Kurt waits until he hears the front door close before he sits down again, staring at the mess that is now his desk.

No NYADA. His best friend is in New York without him. His brother is signing up for military service. No boyfriend. Kurt wants to cry, he really does, but he can’t. He’s just empty.

* * *


	2. Prologue

“There you go,” the barista says while handing Kurt his coffee with a smile. He smiles back, grateful that she took pity on him and added the milk for him when she saw how loaded he was. He hoists his giant pile of folders and notebooks further up against his body, clutches the coffee cup and inhales the rich aroma through the hole in the lid. _Coffee. Finally._ He takes a deep breath and turns around, ready to face the rest of this day and whatever re-designs his adviser has suggested, and the next thing he knows there is scalding heat across his chest.

“Oh _shit_ , I’m so sorry, I’m so, so, sorry, I--- Kurt?” Kurt looks up at the mention of his name, and it takes him a few seconds to place the face, because it’s out of place, out of uniform, out of evilness. He doesn’t think he’s ever heard Sebastian Smythe actually call him _Kurt_ before.

“Sebastian,” Kurt says, acknowledging him; he’s surprised at how calm he sounds. He doesn’t have to look to know that he has angry red splotches across his chest, his shirt is completely soaked, and so are -

“Oh, HOLY FUCKING HELL!” - the folders and notebooks. Kurt doesn’t even care that he sounds shriller than he ever has before, that the whole café is staring at him, because _this is his final project and Sebastian has ruined it_. “I...” Kurt begins, but he can’t finish the sentence. He’s speechless, in front of _Sebastian_. He throws the now empty styrofoam cup in the trash can next to the door. Kurt briefly considers just dropping down on the floor to cry, because _final project_ , but he can’t. He’s supposed to be a responsible adult, so he sits down at an empty table instead. He drops the pile of paper on the table with a _thump_ , and slumps down in a chair. Half of the café is still staring at him, but he really can’t bring himself to care. It’s his first term, his first final project. Sebastian fucking Smythe has managed to turn up and ruin it.

Before he can bury his face in his hands and pull himself together, someone shoves a wad of napkins in front of him. He looks up – Sebastian. Kurt sighs.

“What do you want?” he asks, but he shrugs out of his coat, accepts the napkins, and grabs the top notebook. He flips to the first page, and realizes it’s a lost cause. The pages are soaked in the brown coffee. None of the designs are visible. Kurt swears on his life to never buy non-chlorine bleached, non-treated notebooks ever again. He reaches for the next notebook, it’s a bit better off, but there’s not much to save. His most important designs are in the top book, the rest of them are just notes, extras and fabric samples.

“I... those were for _you_. You’re wet.” Kurt looks up, and Sebastian is still standing next to the table. Kurt narrows his eyes.

“Are you... you _are_ Sebastian, right?” he asks, because honestly - he’s not sure. “I would ask if you’re his evil twin, but seeing as Sebastian would be the evil one, I won’t.”

“Yeah gayface,” Sebastian (now confirmed) smirks. “It’s me.”

This is where Kurt would breathe out an exaggerated sigh of relief, if it wasn’t for _final project_. He looks at the soaked pile of paper. He buries his face in his hands, moaning in misery.

“The shirt is salvageable,” he says into his palms, not knowing and not really caring if Sebastian is still there. “Final project, however, is not.”

“Shit. That was your final project?” Sebastian asks, and Kurt looks up at him again.

“Why are you being nice?” he asks. “You’re never nice.”

Sebastian shrugs. “You look like a wet cat; I like animals.”

“You hate everything that moves in a non-sexual way,” Kurt states. He glances down at the table again. He might as well just accept that he’ll have to retake this course.

“Cats are sexy. What are you doing in New York, anyway?” Sebastian asks, and - _what? Why does he -_ ? “I thought you didn’t get in to NYADA?” “I didn’t,” Kurt confirms, but doesn’t give him more than that. Sebastian sighs and flops down in the seat opposite of Kurt.

“Is it really your final project?” he asks, eyes flickering over the notebooks. Kurt nods. “I’m sorry.”

Kurt looks at him. Sebastian sounds genuinely sorry, and he’s not even smirking. Kurt shrugs.

“Not much to do about it now, is there? I’ll just have to retake the... oh _fuck_.” He buries his face in his hands again. He can’t just retake the course next year, because if he fails now, he’s not qualified for the next _term_. He _has_ to pass if he wants to continue his education.

“Fuck my fucking life,” he mutters. Kurt notices Sebastian’s raised eyebrow at his language, but doesn’t care. He flips through the first notebook again, handling the wet pages with care. Nothing is left untouched.

“Is there...anything I can do?” Sebastian asks. Kurt opens his mouth, but gets interrupted by the barista, who’s now standing by their table.

“Here,” she says, handing him a fresh cup of coffee. “I saw what happened, so I thought... you’re wet,” she says. Kurt bites his lip to prevent himself from rolling his eyes. He _is_ the one who’s sitting in a soaked shirt, he’s aware of how sodden he is. He accepts the coffee with a grateful smile nonetheless.

“Yeah, I know,” he says. “But since I won’t be able to go on to next term now, I guess I’ll have all the time in the world to do laundry.”

The barista looks at him with a pitying expression.

“I’m sorry,” she says. Kurt gives a little shrug and puts on a charming smile.

“Not your fault. Sorry about the coffee though, I’m sure it was excellent. Thanks for the new one.”

“Ah, well. Good luck,” she says and smiles again, before she disappears behind the counter.

“You can’t go on to next term?” Sebastian asks when Kurt takes a sip of his coffee. She’s added the milk this time too, and it _is_ excellent.

“I need to pass this course to be qualified. And I know you know nothing about fashion, but the whole ‘naked and covered in coffee’ look is _not_ a look that will be in anytime soon.”

Sebastian smirks again. “I wouldn’t complain if it was,” he says with a wink. Kurt rolls his eyes.

“Whatever, it’s not a collection that will make me pass the course,” he sighs.

“Were these your only copies?” Sebastian asks. Kurt glares at him.

“ _Yes_. I just got them back from my adviser. I didn’t really count on you pouring coffee over all of it.”

“I’m sorry,” Sebastian says again. “Look, is there anything I can..,” he trails off this time, but Kurt gets what he’s offering. Not that it helps, because he doesn’t think Sebastian can come up with a complete spring collection in just a couple of weeks, and the assignment was either a complete collection on paper, or two or three pieces in... Kurt looks up, focuses his critical eyes on Sebastian.

“Stand up,” he says. Sebastian does, and Kurt is too far gone to feel surprised about that too. “Spin.” Sebastian spins. Kurt stands up abruptly, grabbing his coat.

“Come on,” he says, handing half of the pile of papers to Sebastian. “You’re coming with me.” Sebastian looks dumbfounded for a moment, but quickly finds himself.

“Hummel, what I said about naked and covered in coffee doesn’t really apply to you, you know?”

His trademark smirk is back. Kurt _knows_ that it’s just a game, that he should have seen it coming, that he walked into it, but still. He’s not sexy. He’s unattractive. He doesn’t even hold up to Sebastian’s standards, and that’s saying something. He already knew that, but it still _hurts_. Kurt loses his footing for a moment, and he knows that Sebastian can see him momentarily lose his game.

“In your dreams,” he quips finally, and it’s the lamest reply ever, but whatever, he’s had a rough day.

“What are we gonna do then?” Sebastian asks. “Since sex is out of the question?” Kurt presses the pile of papers into Sebastian’s hands, forcing him to grab them.

“The only one of us who will undress is you. I have no idea what you’re doing with your life, and I don’t care, but for the next few weeks, you’re modelling.”

“Mode- _what_? Sebastian stares at him. “I have to study!” Kurt eyes his bag. Probably something theoretical, like Freshman Economy 101 or whatever they teach at Douchebag University.

“Alex can help you,” he says, hoisting his own half of the papers in his arms and grabbing his coffee. “He doesn’t do anything worthwhile anyway.”

“Who’s... ask him then?” Sebastian says, confused, as he follows Kurt out of the door. Kurt doesn’t reply, he just hurries along the sidewalk, leaving Sebastian to stare after him outside the café.

“Hey lady!” Sebastian shouts. “What’ll you do if I refuse?”

Kurt stops dead in his tracks. He closes his eyes, he doesn’t want to see if people are staring at him due to the nickname. He knows, logically, that none of them knows about him, that it’s impossible for them to even guess, but it _feels_ like he’s the emperor with new clothes. He breathes in deep, opens his eyes, and turns around to face Sebastian, who’s now caught up with him.

“If you refuse, I’ll find out where you live, break in, and then proceed to drown your clothes and books in coffee. And possibly murder you in your sleep.” His voice is perfectly level and clear, and he keeps his gaze locked with Sebastian’s.

“Why do you even want me?” Sebastian asks. And it’s a legitimate question. He’s just going to stand around throwing insults, but...

“You have nice measurements,” Kurt tells him. “And I’m equipped with pins and needles. And safety pins,” he adds, flicking his eyes up to Sebastian’s mouth.

“You think I’m hot?” Sebastian asks, gleefully. Kurt rolls his eyes and turns around to start walking towards the apartment again.

“Nice measurements,” he calls over his shoulder. “They don’t impact your face. Or hair.” Sebastian catches up with him again, and starts to walk beside him.

“That’s because they’re already flawless,” he says. Kurt doesn’t even dignify that with a response.

* * *

“Hi honey!” Kurt shouts into the apartment as he unlocks the door. Alex answers with a _hi sugar!_ from the living room, and Kurt drops his notebooks on the floor with a loud bang before taking off his coat and unlacing his boots. When he’s done he looks at Sebastian, who hasn’t moved further than into the apartment. Kurt grabs the notebooks and folders from his hands and drops them on top of the rest, and says

“Take off your coat and shoes.”

“Aw, honey, I’m not really in the... oh my GOD what happened to you?!” Alex has turned the corner and is now staring at Kurt in horror. Kurt looks down on where his light blue button-up is still damp and clinging to his chest.

“Him,” Kurt answers, nodding towards Sebastian. Alex looks at him, then back at Kurt.

“And so you brought him back here to...slay him?” he asks, one eyebrow raised.

“Yes, exactly,” Kurt nods. Alex laughs and steps forward to kiss him on the forehead.

“Good, ‘cause we’re almost out of food. I’ll go get the knives ready,” he says and turns to the kitchen. “And also, the light bulb in the bathroom broke, can you change...why are all your project files on the floor?” He turns around again to look at Kurt, who sighs.

“Ask Sebastian,” he says, and walks past Alex into the living room. “I have to change, can you keep an eye on him for one minute?”

“I’ll keep him entertained for the ten minutes it’ll take you to choose a new shirt that doesn’t clash with any of the clothes you’re already wearing, and then soak that one,” Alex replies with a sweet smile. Kurt flips him the finger over his shoulder before closing the bedroom door.

It only takes him five minutes to pick out a new one, and he doesn’t care about the ruined one enough to take care of it immediately, so he grabs a measuring tape, a box of pins, a pen and a paper from his desk before he walks out into the living room again. Alex and Sebastian are sitting next to each other on the couch, Alex staring at Sebastian in incredulous wonder.

“Kurt, where did you _find_ this guy?” he asks when Kurt emerges. “He’s _clueless_.” Sebastian looks offended, and Kurt smirks.

“I know. Long story. What did he do?”

“He asked why you couldn’t just redraw your designs.”

“Oh, dear god.”

“But _why_?” Sebastian interrupts, sounding genuinely confused. Kurt shakes his head.

“Just... stand up, please.” He points to the carpet next to the couch and the coffee table. Sebastian does, and Kurt takes his first really good look at him, out of his uniform, out of high school. He’s dressed in tight dark blue jeans, a light grey knitted cardigan, and a black t-shirt underneath, the collar peeking through the V of the cardigan. He looks good, Kurt hates to admit it, but he does. He seems to have gained some sense of style since last year at Scandals, which is the first - and until now only - time Kurt has seen him out of the Dalton uniform. He doesn’t say this to Sebastian, though. He’s not _that_ stupid.

“Raise your arms, please,” he says instead, twirling the measuring tape between his fingers as he steps forward. He turns to Alex, asks “Can you...?” and he doesn’t have to finish the sentence before Alex reaches for the pen and paper in Kurt’s hand. Kurt stares down at the pins. He doesn’t need them if he’s only going to take measurements, but then again, he can use them to stick into Sebastian’s thigh if the guy gets to obnoxious. Kurt rattles the box, looking pointedly at Sebastian, and then proceeds to measure him.

Sebastian keeps quiet, much to Kurt’s surprise, and he’s done pretty quickly. He stands up from where he’s been kneeling at Sebastian’s feet (and he tries not to read too much into _that_ position, and he doesn’t look up to see if Sebastian’s smirking at him or not). He grabs the paper from Alex, scanning through the numbers. This actually shouldn’t be too hard.

“Nice,” Alex comments from over his shoulder. Kurt nods, then looks over at Sebastian again.

“You can go now,” he says. Sebastian looks between the two of them as if trying to figure out if they actually are going to slay him or not. “We’re not gonna eat you, Sebastian,” Kurt adds after a moment, and Sebastian snaps out of it and glares at him.

“Whatever, gayface,” he mutters, and turns towards the hallway. Kurt feels Alex tense beside him, but he shakes his head. Not worth it.

“Wait!” Kurt says then, following Sebastian. “I need your phone number.” He hands over his phone, lets Sebastian put in his number, and then takes it back to save it. “I’ll call you when I need you for the first fitting,” he says.

“I don’t actually-” Sebastian begins, but Kurt interrupts him.

“Coffee. On _all your things_ ,” he says. Sebastian presses his lips together.

“Fine,” he bites out. Then he grabs his bag and walks out the door without even saying goodbye. Kurt cannot say he’s surprised.

“Soo,” Alex says, coming up behind him and putting his arms around Kurt’s shoulders. “Care to tell me who that was, exactly?” Kurt sighs, leaning into the touch, enjoying the comforting warmth of another body.

“I’m actually not sure,” he says.

“Well, you can think about it while you change the light bulb in the bathroom,” Alex says, brightly. “I’ll make dinner.”

“I thought you were the male in this relationship,” Kurt teases while he opens the hallway closet to get the spare light bulbs.

* * *

“No, but really Kurt, who is he? I can’t...he seems...weird?” Alex says as he pushes his plate away and leans back on the couch. Kurt sighs and sets his plate on the coffee table, imitating Alex’s position on the other end of the couch.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “I can’t really place him either. He...he was seriously evil when we were in high school, but now he seems to have...changed.” Kurt frowns as he says it, because he doesn’t really believe it, but he can’t make anything else from Sebastian’s silence and lack of insults today. That he even excused himself in the first place is getting too much for Kurt to handle right now, it feels like his whole world has been turned around.

“I think he likes you,” Alex says, and Kurt stares at him before he bursts out laughing. It’s not funny, it’s so not funny. Sebastian brings back bad memories; memories of Blaine, and Kurt’s insecurities about not being enough, about Blaine wanting to just get together with Sebastian instead because Sebastian was _normal_ , and it is _not funny_. Kurt still can’t do anything other than laugh at the suggestion that Sebastian Smythe likes him.

Alex looks confused. He puts a hand on Kurt’s back as he waits for him to calm down and catch his breath. Kurt wipes his eyes and takes a deep breath, willing away the residing giggles.

“He doesn’t like me,” he says finally. Alex starts rubbing his back, and Kurt leans into the touch. “He doesn’t...I’m not totally sure why he’s even doing this, but I guess he just feels genuinely sorry for what he did?” He slumps back on the couch again, forcing Alex to remove his hand. “God, I’m just so confused right now. I don’t even know if he’ll turn up when I call him for the first fitting.”

“We’ll just have to wait and see. Would be nice if he did, though. He does have nice measurements.”

They fall into a comfortable silence. This is the thing Kurt enjoys most about living with Alex, he knows how to be silent.

When Kurt first came to New York at the beginning of term, he’d dragged himself between Rachel’s dorm room floor and Santana’s couch once every few days for a couple of weeks. Late admission meant no dorm, and he didn’t know anyone else. Then he’d been paired up with Alex for a project in social studies, and the two of them had hit of immediately. Alex’s girlfriend had just dumped him and moved out of the apartment, he needed someone to split the rent with, and Kurt needed somewhere to live. Almost two months into the arrangement, they are getting along pretty well. Alex is there for comfort when Kurt is feeling down, and Kurt changes light bulbs and kills spiders.

And, apparently, brings home evil enemies to the apartment to make them model for his final project.

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” Kurt says, addressing the room at large. Alex snorts beside him.

“Join the club. Unfortunately, we’re out of cookies.”


	3. Chapter 2

Kurt spends the next few days in his room, deeply submerged in cutting and pinning and sewing. He comes up for sleep and food only when Alex makes him.

When he finally has something that at least resembles a piece of clothing, he sends off a text to Sebastian.

(Thur nov 15th, 7.32 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _Are you busy tomorrow?_

The reply comes almost immediately.

(7.33 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _Whos this_

(7.33 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _Who do you think? Be here at 1 pm._

(7.42 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _I never said I was free Hummel_

(7.45 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _And I figured I don’t care. Be on time._

The reply doesn’t come until it’s almost midnight.

(11.56 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _Fine._

He shows up at ten past, and answers Kurt’s glare with one of his own.

“Shoes and coat off,” Kurt orders, not waiting to see if Sebastian obeys before he walks out into the living room again.

“I actually do have to study!” Sebastian says after him, clearly annoyed with Kurt’s behavior. Well, Kurt’s annoyed with Sebastian’s lateness, so there.

“Where do you even go to school?” Kurt asks when Sebastian comes after him, messenger bag in hand. Kurt points to the same point on the carpet as Sebastian stood last week, which earns him another glare before Sebastian drops his bag on the couch and assumes the position.

“Pre-law at NYU,” he mutters, while Kurt’s just standing in front of him, doing nothing but look at him. “Look, are you just gonna stand there or are you actually gonna do something?” Sebastian asks after few more seconds.

“Hmm. Alex?” Kurt calls. “Can you come out here?” Alex emerges from the bedroom, frowning when he sees Sebastian.

“What?” he asks, leaning against the doorway.

“Do you still have all your notes from last year?” Kurt asks. Alex narrows his eyes.

“Yes...?” he says, suspicious now. Kurt turns to smile at him, sweetly.

“Can you help Sebastian study while I fit him? He’s in pre-law,” he says with a singsong voice. Alex’s eyes light up.

“At NYU?” he asks Sebastian, who looks confused, but nods. “Nice! Two seconds, I’ll get my notes. What are you doing now, it’s history, right?” He turns before Sebastian has a chance to answer. He comes back a few moments later, notebook and binder in hand.

“Do you...are you in pre-law too?” Sebastian asks as Alex settles on the couch. Kurt snorts and Alex laughs.

“Oh god no. I mean, I was for a year, but it really wasn’t what I wanted, so I switched. I’m in Kurt’s class now.” He opens his binder. “I loved the courses though, so seriously, anytime you need some help just call me.” Sebastian looks really confused at the sudden change of heart from this guy. Kurt secretly thinks it’s a look that suits him. He’s been longing to rub of that confident smirk from his face long enough.

“Can you take off your clothes, please?” he says, which makes Sebastian whip his head to stare at him, incredulous, and a little bit smug. Kurt rolls his eyes. “Shit, how do you even...I need to try out clothes on you, Sebastian. Tailored for your body. I can’t do that while you’re wearing other clothes.”

“Yeah, sure,” Sebastian agrees, humoring him, but he doesn’t move. Kurt waits. Sebastian waits.

“You do know how to take off your own clothes, right?” Kurt asks after a minute. “Because I’m serious. I need them off.” Sebastian’s smugness fades a little bit at Kurt’s words, but Alex interjects before Kurt has a chance to react.

“Hey, what page are you on? Can I...?” he motions to Sebastian’s bag. Sebastian nods and starts to unbutton his pants.

“This feels weird,” he mutters under his breath, starting on the buttons in his cardigan without removing his pants.

“Oh really?” Kurt mocks. “I would turn off the lights and put on some music to make you more comfortable, but our neighbours are pretty grumpy and I can’t see in the dark so. Not happening.”

“Look Hummel, I can just go, you---”

“No you can’t,” Alex says from the couch, without looking up from where he’s flipping through Sebastian’s history notes. “You’ve got this all wrong.”

“What?” Sebastian asks.

Alex holds up what looks like pages from an essay. “This. It’s...you’ve missed the point, completely.” Sebastian unbuttons the last button on his cardigan. He moves forward as if to sit on the couch, but Kurt grabs his arm.

“Clothes off,” he says. “He can explain while you’re standing.” Sebastian doesn’t look at him, but he motions for Alex to go on. Then he actually does take off his pants. He folds them and flings them over the armrest of the couch, and then pulls off his cardigan. He’s wearing a long-sleeved t-shirt underneath, and he makes no motion to take off that too. Kurt clears his throat pointedly.

“The shirt stays on,” Sebastian says, just briefly meeting Kurt’s gaze. Kurt can’t help but arch an eyebrow, but he doesn’t press the issue. It doesn’t matter now anyway, he’s not doing any form-fitting for the upper body today, so he just shrugs and proceeds to pin the pants to Sebastian’s legs.

The moment Kurt says he’s done, Sebastian pulls on his pants again and flops down on the couch next to Alex. Kurt looks at him for a moment, but then he just shakes his head and disappears into the bedroom.

A few hours later, Kurt is considering pulling an all-nighter. Then his stomach growls really loud. He sighs and puts down the scissors, glances at the clock. He wonders if he should just go for pizza, or if it’s worth trying to convince Alex to order Indian. He walks out of the bedroom with his eyes focused on the tiny hole he just discovered in his shirt.

“Hey Alex, can we---” he looks up and stops. Sebastian is still there. “What...why are you still here?”

“We’re studying,” Alex says, moving papers from his side to the coffee table. He pats the spot on the couch when it’s clear. Kurt sits down, curls up against him, and Alex puts his arm around Kurt’s shoulder.

“I’m hungry,” Kurt says, fully aware that he sounds like a three year-old.

“Mhm,” Alex says, clearly amused. “And you think the food is just gonna magically appear because you say so?”

“Feed me,” Kurt says. There’s a sound coming from their right that could possibly be Sebastian choking on air, but Kurt isn’t sure. Alex laughs. Kurt pouts. Shit, he’s exhausted.

“You’ve been doing it for a week, there’s no reason for you to stop now. I want Indian,” he adds.

“Indian, huh?” Alex still sounds far too amused for Kurt’s liking, but he’ll let it slide if he gets food.

“Please?” he begs. Another sound from Sebastian.

“I should probably go,” he says, already putting his stuff in his bag.

“Yeah,” Kurt agrees with a yawn. He doesn’t have the energy to deal with Sebastian over dinner.

“You want to come back tomorrow?” Alex asks. “‘Cause there’s still a shitload of stuff to be done here.” He gestures to the notebooks and papers on his lap and the table.

“Sure, if you’re not busy or anything...?”

“Nope, I’m completely free.”

“Okay, I’ll...come by around 11, or something?” Sebastian is standing now, and he looks pretty anxious to leave.

“Sure,” Alex agrees, and then Sebastian is out of there.

* * *

Kurt sleeps until noon the next day. While he instantly regrets it as soon as he looks at the time, he also knows that he needed it. He stumbles out of bed, pulls on a pair of pants over his boxers, and drags himself out into the living room. He gets a feeling of déjà vu when he sees Alex and Sebastian on the couch.

“There’s coffee in the kitchen,” Alex says without looking up. Kurt grunts out a reply and pads over to the other side of the apartment.

Cradling his coffee cup, he walks over and curls up against Alex’s side again, much like yesterday. He grabs one of the papers of Alex’s lap and squints at it while trying to wake himself up.

“How can you have a problem with this?” he asks when the cup is half-empty and he’s starting to feel somewhat human. Alex and Sebastian both turn to look at him. Kurt realizes he interrupted them mid-conversation. _Apparently not completely awake then_.

“What?” he says defensively. “They covered this junior year at Dalton. I know, I was there.”

“Well, maybe that’s why I don’t know it,” Sebastian says, clearly annoyed. “Since I spent my junior year in France.”

Both Alex and Kurt whip their heads to stare at him, both wearing identical looks of jealousy.

“You spent junior year in France?” they repeat, in unison. Sebastian looks at them as if he’s afraid they’re going to slay him.

“Yes,” he replies, a bit wearily. “I only did my senior year at Dalton.”

“Why?” Kurt asks, before he can stop himself. Seriously, he needs to sleep more and wake up faster if Sebastian’s going to be around, because this won’t do. Fortunately, Sebastian has his verbal filter still intact.

“Reasons,” he says, shrugging. Kurt is _satisfied_ with that answer, because he doesn’t want to know more about Sebastian than he already does.

Silence stretches awkwardly between the three of them, until Alex grabs the paper back from Kurt’s hand.

“Well, no matter the reason, Sebastian doesn’t know these things, and he has an essay to rewrite. And you have clothes to make,” he says to Kurt, who groans at the thought.

“How come you don’t need to sew?” Sebastian asks Alex.

“Because he sucks,” Kurt mutters and downs the last of his coffee. Alex pats him on the head.

“Hush you,” he says, then turns to Sebastian. “I finished my drawings like two weeks ago. Since I didn’t run into someone who poured coffee over all of it, I just need to revise it a bit to hand it in. Not a big deal.”

“I still don’t get why you can’t just redraw,” Sebastian says to Kurt, who sighs.

“Some of those sketches were over five years old. It’s not something you just ‘redraw,’” he says.

“Oh.” Sebastian looks surprised. “I’m---”

“Sorry, I know,” Kurt finishes for him. “Not like it matters. Just...don’t grow or become fat in the next few weeks, and it’ll be fine.” He stands up and puts his cup on the table. “Well, have fun. I’m gonna go give myself some more acupuncture in the finger tips.”

“Good luck, sweetie,” Alex says, way too cheerily. “Want pizza tonight?”

“Sure,” Kurt replies and disappears into his room. He can hear the murmurs of Alex and Sebastian, but he can’t make out what they say. Soon enough he has them both filtered away, focusing completely on the suit he’s trying to make.

* * *

Alex knocks softly on the door a couple of hours later.

“Hey. Sebastian went to get pizzas.”

“He’s still here?” Kurt asks, surprised. Alex nods.

“He wanted to pay for the pizza, and I’m not one to turn down free food.”

“You’re sure he’s not trying to give us food poisoning?” Kurt asks, honestly not putting it past Sebastian. Alex frowns.

“Look, I get that you two don’t have the best history, but until you tell me _what_ history, I’m not gonna hate the guy just to side with you,” he says. “I mean, you brought him here, obviously you can’t hate him that much.”

And yeah, no, Kurt is not going to explain his and Sebastian’s relationship to Alex. That would inevitably lead to bringing up Blaine, and Kurt doesn’t want to do that, not yet. Alex knows he has an ex, and that their breakup was pretty hard on Kurt, but he doesn’t know more and he doesn’t _need_ to know more.

“I still don’t like him,” Kurt says finally. Alex smiles fondly.

“I know.”

* * *

They’ve barely settled on the couch (with Alex in the middle) and zapped to a rerun of _Project Runway_ , when Sebastian’s phone beeps. He pulls it up, reads the message, and mutters _Fuck_.

“What’s up?” Alex asks, grabbing a slice of pineapple-laden pizza. Kurt wrinkles his nose and reaches for the veggies.

“I’ve been sexiled,” Sebastian says, staring at his phone as if he can’t really believe that this is happening. Alex chokes on his pizza trying to keep himself from laughing. He reaches for Sebastian’s phone.

“‘Im getting laid. Stay away’,” he recites. “Shit, you’d think that being polite would hurt him.”

“Ah well, I’m sure it’s just payback for all the times Sebastian’s done the same thing,” Kurt says sweetly and takes a bite of his pizza.

“I haven’t- fuck you,” Sebastian snaps and grabs his phone back. “What does he want me to do?!”

Kurt swallows before he answers. “The same? Isn’t that what _you_ do, go out and get laid? Just follow them home instead of taking them to yours.” Kurt could go on, but Alex puts a hand on his knee.

“You can stay here,” he says, and squeezes Kurt’s knee when he feels him tense. Sebastian looks skeptic. “It’s no problem,” Alex assures him. “You take the couch and we can continue studying tomorrow.”

“Alex...” Kurt starts, but Alex interrupts.

“It’s _okay_ ,” he says in a very pointed tone, and seriously, it’s his apartment, so Kurt presses his lips together and sinks back into the couch. Sebastian opens his mouth to say something else, but he’s interrupted by Kurt’s phone.

(Sat nov 17th, 8.13 pm)  
 **Rachel:** _Hey, can you come over?_

Kurt sighs. He’d _really_ like to get over to Rachel’s tonight, but it takes him 45 minutes just to get there.

(8.13 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _I have work tomorrow. Skype?_

(8.14 pm)  
 **Rachel:** _:( but ok. Five minutes?_

(8.14 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _Yep_

He stands up and grabs the box with the veggie pizza.

“I just got myself a Skype date. You two have fun.”

“Is it Jesse again?” Alex asks, oblivious to Sebastian’s questioning stare. Kurt shrugs.

“I guess. I don’t get why he doesn’t just give in.”

“He doesn’t appreciate what’s right in front of him.”

“I just hope he gets his shit together soon,” Kurt mutters. Sebastian is looking between them like he’s watching a tennis game. Kurt can’t for the life of him understand why Sebastian is interested in Rachel’s love life, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to know. Maybe he wants to fuck Jesse. Jesse would probably be up for it, if Sebastian gave him enough compliments. Kurt shakes his head to get rid of the thoughts, he really doesn’t want to go there. He grabs his water glass with the hand not holding the pizza box.

“Goodnight,” he says, mostly addressing Alex.

“Goodnight, honey!”

Kurt doesn’t wait for Sebastian’s eventual reply before he closes the door behind him.

* * *

On Sunday, Kurt is woken by his alarm. He moans miserably when he realizes that he has to get up. He doesn’t want to go to work, but it’s the weekend, and they shouldn’t be too busy at the shop. On the other hand, it’s the weekend _before Thanksgiving_. They were promising snow on the Weather Channel, so there will probably be a lot of tire changing. Oh god. Kurt’s arms ache just thinking about it.

He fell asleep talking to Rachel last night and woke up around three with the side of his face pressed to the keyboard of his laptop. He’d only gotten up to put the computer away and turn off the overhead lights, then he’d fallen right back asleep. Kurt glances at the clock. He needs _coffee_.

Barely managing to compress the world’s biggest yawn, he gets up, stretches, and winces at the way his back and neck crack. He walks out into the living room...where Sebastian is sleeping on the couch. Kurt lets out a shriek before he can prevent it, he had completely forgotten about Sebastian’s sexile. He’s suddenly acutely aware that he’s standing right in Sebastian’s field of vision, wearing only boxers and a worn _Hummel Tires & Lube_ t-shirt. He’s standing frozen in shock, watching as Sebastian’s eyes flicker open at the sound. Then he focuses on Kurt.

“Geez Hummel, give a guy a warning, will you?” he grumbles, voice rough from sleep. Kurt will deny to his dying day that that voice makes something stir in his stomach. “Put on some clothes before you blind me.” And okay, yeah, good feeling gone, no need to deny anything anymore. Kurt barely resists the urge to kick Sebastian in the face, but it gives him the boost he needs to get over to the bathroom. He locks the door and slides down against it, resting his chin on his, admittedly pale, knees. He allows himself a couple of deep breaths, tells himself that it doesn't matter what Sebastian fucking Smythe thinks of him, that he doesn't care if he doesn't pass his extremely low standards.

But no matter how hard he tries, he can't make himself believe it.

* * *

Kurt opens the apartment door to a lot of yelling. He slumps against the door, takes a deep breath, and tries to stave off his headache.

He turns the corner to the living room. Alex and Sebastian are on the couch, playing Mario Kart.

“Hi,” Kurt sighs. He lays down on the floor, back to the carpet and staring at the ceiling.

“Hi sugar,” Alex replies, shifting immediately from loud and obnoxious to soft and sweet. “How was work?”

“Tire-ing,” Kurt says. He waits for it, and then -

“That was bad,” Alex says, but he’s laughing. Kurt smiles at the ceiling. It took them a while to come up with it at work, but when they did, they couldn’t stop smiling at each other the rest of the day. It certainly made the massive flow of cars in need of a tire change more bearable.

“Who’s winning?” he asks, bending his neck so he can see the TV upside down.

“Me,” Alex replies, starting up the game again. “Sebastian sucks.” Sebastian makes a noise of protest, but then he has to right his car, and shuts up. Kurt smirks.

“He could probably beat you at We Sing with his eyes closed though,” Kurt blurts out without thinking. This time Sebastian does wreck his car, staring at Kurt, who blushes. Alex looks at him too, confused.

“Well, he can’t beat you, though,” he says, smiling at Kurt.

“No,” Kurt agrees. Sebastian huffs. Kurt sits up to look at them the right way. He fixes Sebastian with a challenging look. “You think you could beat me?” he asks. “Have you heard me in a solo?”

“You’re awesome,” Alex says. Sebastian glares at him.

“Sebastian, you lost at Regionals. We won _Nationals_.”

“You really wanna challenge me on this, Hummel?” Sebastian asks, dubious. Kurt smiles.

“Yes.”

Alex pops in the game disc and flicks through the songs with practiced ease. He skips the ones that Kurt refuses to sing (because of Blaine, but Alex doesn’t know that), even though Sebastian tries to claim them, and settles on Hanson’s _MMMBop_. Sebastian rolls his eyes, but grabs the offered microphone.

Kurt wins. They go again, with The Killers, and Kurt wins this time, too. And on Nelly Furtado’s _I’m like a bird_. After Scissor Sister’s _I don’t feel like dancing_ , Kurt throws the microphone on the coffee table and slumps down into the couch.

“I’m tired. Also, I _win_.”

“Fine. But I want a rematch,” Sebastian mutters. Kurt doesn’t know whether to laugh or cry. He can beat Sebastian in his sleep, it’s not that, but he doesn’t like this feeling where he has to prove himself to the other boy. He sighs.

“ _Fine_.”


	4. Chapter 3

(Tue 20 nov, 1.24 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _Are you going home for Thanksgiving?_

(1.36pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _No_

Kurt actually writes _So elaborate_ , but he erases it almost immediately. He doesn’t _want_ to know why Sebastian’s not going to Ohio for Thanksgiving, he just knows that he’s _fine_ with it. Kurt has to work, both at the shop and on his project. He can’t afford to go home for both Thanksgiving and Christmas. Finn is only coming home for Christmas, so it wasn’t a hard choice to make.

(1.45 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _Can you come over tomorrow? Around 2?_

(1.46 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _Ok_

* * *

Sebastian arrives ten minutes to two, ink smeared across his cheek and his shirt wrinkled. Kurt presses his lips together and turns away before he can blurt out a comment.

“Hey man!” Alex greets from the couch when they enter the living room. “How’s the essay going?” he asks, giving Sebastian a once-over and frowning.

Sebastian shrugs. “Okay, I think.” He turns to Kurt. “How do you want me?”

Kurt is a little surprised at the lack of snark in Sebastian’s comments, he seems really...tired? Kurt points to the usual spot on the carpet.

“Pants off. I’ll try to be quick,” he says. Sebastian gives him a brief, questioning look, but he doesn’t say anything. He complies while turning his attention to the television.

When Kurt is done, Sebastian reaches for his pants and pulls them on, but he doesn’t flop down on the couch. This is the first time Kurt notices that Sebastian didn’t bring a bag.

“Hey, if you’re really...,” Kurt starts, but stops himself. He’s feeling bad for Sebastian, yes, but it’s not Kurt’s problem that he has to rewrite his essay. He’s not going to put his own project at risk because Sebastian needs more time to study.

Alex looks up at the unfinished sentence. “You want help with the essay?” he asks. Sebastian shakes his head.

“I didn’t bring it.”

A disapproving look flashes in Alex’s eyes. Kurt doesn’t think Sebastian notices.

“Oh well. Are you busy tomorrow?” Alex asks. Sebastian frowns.

“Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving,” he says. Alex shrugs.

“Yeah. So? Both Kurt and I are staying here; if you don’t have plans you can come by. You might even get dinner.”

“Seriously?” Sebastian asks, and it’s genuine, not condescending. It’s throwing Kurt off.

“Well, Kurt’s cooking, so really, it’s up to him. But let him win a couple of more times on We Sing, and I’m sure you’ll be able to persuade him.”

“ _Let_ me win?” Kurt repeats and crosses his arms over his chest. Sebastian smirks and Kurt tries to not be a little relieved at that.

“You know I was going easy on you, Hummel,” Sebastian says. Kurt narrows his eyes. It’s not true. Kurt is, quite frankly, a better singer than Sebastian, and he knows that Sebastian knows it, too. This conversation is entirely pointless.

“No,” Kurt says. “You weren’t. But I’ll give you that you were at least a challenge, which is more than you can say about him.” He nods to Alex, who throws his hands up in the air.

“Hey, I can’t be good at _everything_!” he says, defensively. “But okay. Sebastian, if you want to give Kurt another _challenge_ , you are welcome to Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow; with a study session beforehand.”

Sebastian looks at Alex and then at Kurt, trying to see if there’s any hostility. He doesn’t find any, apparently, because he shrugs and says “Okay.”

So Kurt Hummel is having Sebastian Smythe over for Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. The world never seems to stop amazing Kurt. He follows Sebastian out into the hallway and leans against the door while Sebastian laces his shoes.

“What’s up with you today?” he asks. He barely manages to keep himself from slapping a hand across his mouth. Sebastian looks up at him in surprise.

“What?” he asks.

“You’re just...nice,” Kurt says, somewhat lamely. Sebastian arches an eyebrow. “The meanest thing you’ve called me today is ‘Hummel’,” Kurt clarifies.

“I didn’t realize you liked being insulted. Sorry?” Sebastian says, confused.

“Why?” Kurt asks again. Now that he has asked, he actually wants to know the answer.

Sebastian sighs and drags a hand through his hair. “Because my roommate is a homophobic ass who keeps side-eyeing me every time I’m in our room doing something other than sleep?” he says.

“What?!” Kurt doesn’t know if he’s more confused or upset.

“Yeah.”

“But- he must’ve known like...before? You’re not...,” Kurt trails off, looking for the right word. “Subtle,” he finishes.

Sebastian snorts. “I, unlike you, can actually pass as straight.” And there it is, he’s back. “He didn’t have a problem with it until I started ‘acting gay’,” Sebastian explains, and his expression is one of complete disgust.

“So, like ten minutes after you met him, when you started hitting on him?” It’s mean, but Kurt doesn’t understand why this is a problem now, because at the end of the term Sebastian should be used to it. He shouldn’t _have_ to be, but that’s another issue.

Sebastian glares at him. “I haven’t- Apparently he deemed hanging out with two fashion designers as ‘too gay’,” he says.

“O-kay...? Why would you even- it’s not like we’re the only ones you ‘hang out with’.” Kurt can’t keep the quotation marks out of his voice because really, what they’re doing does not qualify as ‘hanging out’.

Sebastian doesn’t answer. They’re both silent for a few moments, before Sebastian grabs his coat and shrugs it on. Then he leaves the apartment without a second look.

Oh.

So many things make sense now. The only thing that doesn’t is _why_ Sebastian doesn’t have any friends, but if Kurt is being completely honest, that kind of makes sense, too. At least if he’s still going at it like he did in high school.

(Wed 21 nov, 9.17 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _Invitation to dinner still stands._

(9.27 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _Dont want your pity party_

(9.28 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _It’s a free dinner. What you make of it is up to you._

* * *

Sebastian arrives just as Alex is leaving.

“Hi!” Alex says brightly when he almost runs into Sebastian in the doorway. “I’m just doing a quick run to the grocery store, but then I’m all yours. You can help Kurt out in the kitchen in the meantime.”

“Uh, okay.” Alex leaves. Sebastian takes off his shoes and coat before entering the kitchen.

“You decided to turn up after all?” Kurt asks with a quick glance at him, focusing mostly on the sauce he’s stirring. Sebastian shrugs.

“I still need help with my essay. And as you said, free food.” He glances around at the mess that is the O’Malley/Hummel kitchen. “You need help with anything?” he asks.

“Uhm...could you chop the vegetables? They’re in the fridge. Cutting boards are by the sink and knives are in that drawer,” Kurt says and points.

Sebastian collects the things and sets himself up at the kitchen table. Alex’s iPod is docked to the sound system above the table and is currently set on a Justin Timberlake playlist. Both Kurt and Sebastian are humming along under their breath, otherwise they’re working in companionable silence. When the playlist skips to _4 minutes_ , Sebastian turns around.

“Hey, where do you want...what are you doing?” he asks. Kurt is standing with his back to Sebastian, swaying his hips and doing what seems to be extremely well-rehearsed and coordinated steps to the music. It’s not a full-blown dance, the kitchen and the situation doesn’t really allow for that, but Sebastian’s mouth still goes dry. At his voice, Kurt stops dancing and turns around. He’s blushing.

“Oh, that’s...it’s a reflex. Since my time on the Cheerios,” Kurt says, trying to shrug it off. Sebastian puts down the knife before he accidentally drops it on his foot.

“You were a cheerleader?” he asks. Kurt frowns slightly, looking at Sebastian as if he’s trying to figure out if he’s being mocked or not.

“Yeah, I...it wasn’t for long. I helped them win Nationals. Didn’t really keep me from being slushied, though, so.” He keeps the tone light, as if sounding like he doesn’t care will keep Sebastian from making fun of him. “You want somewhere to put that?” he asks and points to the chopped up vegetables.

“Uh...yes. Please,” Sebastian says. Kurt raises an eyebrow, and yes, that might be the first time Sebastian has ever said that word in the presence of Kurt Hummel.

“I can beg. With the right initiative,” he smirks. Kurt rolls his eyes, and just like that they’re back on familiar grounds again.

“Second cupboard, second shelf,” Kurt mutters and turns back to the stove. He stands still this time, and Sebastian can’t help but feel disappointed.

* * *

They have dinner together at the kitchen table, and it’s actually _nice_. Kurt is surprised at how easy the conversation flows between the three of them. He realizes with a start during dessert that while he misses his family, he has never once during dinner wished that he was in Lima instead of being here.

* * *

(Sat 24 Nov, 11.15 am)  
 **Blaine:** _Are you home? Can we meet up? I miss you :)_

Kurt reads the text during his lunch break. He takes a deep breath to stifle the emotions that are threatening to break him down completely. He shuts down the message, not bothering to reply. He has nothing to say to his ex-boyfriend.

* * *

Sebastian and Alex are on their way out when Kurt comes home.

“Hi honey, how was...work?” Alex’s voice falters when he takes in Kurt’s appearance.

“Hell,” Kurt replies, dragging a hand through is already rumpled and wet hair. He catches himself in the hallway mirror. He looks like death warmed over and he has oil streaks all over his face and snow still stuck in his collar. “There was this car,” he says while he takes off his coat and unlaces his boots. “I have no idea what they’d done with it, but fucking _everything_ in it was broken.”

“You know how to fix cars?” Sebastian asks.

“Yeah, I work at a car shop, that’s usually what we do,” Kurt replies, sounding way snarkier than what’s necessary.

“I didn’t...know.”

“Kurt, I have to go,” Alex interrupts. “I’m meeting Kendra at school, she needs help with her designs.”

“Tell her I said hi,” Kurt says, and then Alex is gone. Kurt turns to Sebastian. “Are you in a hurry?”

Sebastian shakes his head. “No. I was just– I couldn’t stay when he left,” he says and gestures to the door that Alex just closed.

“Do you have time to stick around? I got an idea today and I want to try it out asap.”

“Sure.” Sebastian takes off his coat again and Kurt disappears into the bedroom. He grabs the shirt he’s been working on, while he tries not to think about how this is the first time he’s ever been alone with Sebastian. He grabs his sewing kit and goes back into the living room.

“I have to make a few changes first, so do you want to watch a movie or...?” Kurt glances at the TV. “You can play Wii if you want to. Practice you Mario Kart skills.”

Sebastian snorts. “If I do, Alex will accuse me of cheating,” he says. Kurt considers it for a moment.

“Yeah, he probably will. You can practice on We Sing though, I promise not to accuse you of cheating if you lose by less than a thousand points,” Kurt smiles. Sebastian rolls his eyes.

“Whatever. Focus on your stuff, I’m gonna take advantage of the sports channels you have but probably never use.”

“I was on the football team at McKinley,” Kurt sing-songs, grabbing his scissors as Sebastian turns on the TV.

“You weren’t,” Sebastian says without looking at him.

“I was. I was a kicker. There’s probably a movie on YouTube if you want proof.”

Now Sebastian is staring at him.

“Is there anything you can’t do?” he asks, incredulous.

_Have sex._

_Find someone who loves me._

Kurt fakes a smile. “Nope. I’m awesome at everything.”

* * *

They’re halfway through a Ski-cross competition when Kurt puts down his needle.

“Now, off with your shirt.”

Sebastian stiffens beside him.

“Are you– do I have to?” he asks. Kurt squints at him.

“What is your problem? It’s not different from undressing in front of strangers every other night. You certainly don’t seem to have a problem with _that_.”

Sebastian glares at him.

“Operative word being ‘strangers’, they don’t care,” he says angrily and drags his cardigan and t-shirt over his head in one go. “Happy?” he spits and throws the bundle of shirts on the floor, exposing his arms.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

Sebastian’s forearms are littered with scars. They’re all in different shades of fading, but still pretty visible.

“Are you done staring?” Sebastian asks coldy. Kurt snaps out of it.

“I’m so–”

“Don’t. Just...don’t. Hand me the fucking shirt.”

Kurt hands him the garment – a bit reluctantly due to Sebastian’s mood – but he handles it with surprising care.

“There are no buttons,” he says when he tries to button the shirt.

“I haven’t had time to buy them yet,” Kurt replies and brandishes a couple of safety pins. “Stand up, please.”

Sebastian takes his usual spot on the carpet. Kurt stands before him, and it’s awkwardly intimate to stand and button Sebastian’s shirt with safety pins.

“I- I was gonna have the sleeves rolled-up, but I’ll just– think of something else,” he says quietly as he grabs the box of pins and starts to take in the shirt where it’s needed.

“Thanks,” Sebastian says, equally quiet.

* * *

“It’s why I was in France,” Sebastian says when Kurt is done and Sebastian is putting on his shirts again. Kurt keeps quiet, he doesn’t know what to say. “It got pretty bad during my sophomore year and my parents thought I needed a _change of scenery_ , so they shipped me off to my aunt in France.” He leans back on the couch and fiddles with the hem of his cardigan. “They just didn’t want to deal with my shit themselves.”

Kurt doesn’t know what to say. Sebastian looks small where he’s sitting on the couch and everything feels like Karofsky all over again. Kurt has no idea how much of Sebastian’s words and insults have been genuine, and how much have been a defense mechanism. He’s not sure he even wants to know.

“Are you hungry?” Kurt asks finally. He’s not trying to ignore what Sebastian just told him, but he figures he can at least reach out a hand and let him know that Kurt won’t back away. Plus, Kurt is actually hungry. “I’m thinking chinese, I don’t feel up for leftovers just yet.”

Sebastian narrows his eyes.

“I don’t want–” he starts.

“You can pay,” Kurt interrupts. “I’m not– it’s not a pity party, or whatever you call it whenever you’re offered food. I’m hungry. You’re here.” The _we’re friends_ is left unspoken.

Sebastian is quiet for a moment.

“Chinese sounds good,” he says then. Kurt thinks he might have seen a faint hint of a smile, but he’s not sure. It might be hunger hallucinations.


	5. Chapter 4

(Tue 27 nov, 3.17 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _When are your finals?_

(3.22 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _14 & 17_

(3.23 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _Why_

(3.30 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _I need to make an appointment for presenting. 18th okay? When are you going to Ohio?_

(3.32 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _Im not. 18 is fine._

Kurt frowns at his phone. Sebastian’s not going home for Christmas? Kurt’s first reaction is to call his dad and ask if Sebastian can come home with him, but he manages to stop himself before he does it. Not that he doesn’t think that his dad will say no. Burt had offered to let Alex come along when he’d learned that Alex parents would be on a cruise, but Alex had declined. Kurt knows Sebastian will say no, too. He shakes his head. This is not his problem.

* * *

“What’s your other final?” Kurt asks late one night when they’re all done studying for the day. Sebastian was supposed to go home, but then it started snowing like crazy.

“Hrm?” Sebastian looks up from where he’s flipping through Alex’s worn paperback copy of _Harry Potter and the Prizoner of Azkaban_. Alex is on his stomach on the floor, reading through Sebastian’s essay. Sebastian is on the couch, and Kurt just made them all tea.

“What’s your other final?” Kurt repeats, placing one mug in front of Alex, handing one to Sebastian. “You said you have them on the 14th and the 17th, and one of them is history, but what is the other?” He pokes at Sebastian’s feet with his knee so he can curl up in the other end of the couch.

“Statistics,” Sebastian mumbles, turning his attention back to the book.

“You don’t need to study for that?”

“Hmm no. I kick ass at math.”

“Fuck you,” Alex mutters from the floor.

“He sucks at math,” Kurt stage-whispers.

“Fuck you, too.” Alex flips over to his back and drops the essay on his face. “When this shit is over, I’m getting drunk, then laid,” he says, voice a bit muffled by the papers.

“I think you’ll have better luck the other way, honey,” Kurt tells him. Alex takes the papers off of his face and pushes himself up on his elbows to stare at Kurt.

“Kurt, I’m like the only straight male student in our entire program. I will _not_ have trouble finding girls, whether I’m drunk or not,” Alex states.

“One, you’re not the only straight male. Two, _ew_.” Kurt makes a disgusted face. Alex replies with a sweet smile. Sebastian is staring at both of them with his mouth open.

“Wait, you’re straight?” he asks Alex when he has regained control of his vocal cords. Alex looks at him as if he’s stupid. Which, Kurt has to admit, is completely justified.

“Uh, yeah?” Alex says, frowning. “What, you thought I was gay?”

“Well...,” Sebastian glances between Alex and Kurt. “Yeah? I mean, you two are pretty... affectionate? And you share a bedroom?”

“What?” Kurt asks; because they most certainly don’t. Alex has a fond smile on his face.

“Oh honey,” Alex says to Sebastian. “We don’t. It’s- yeah, this apartment has a weird layout, but we do not share a bedroom.” He’s quiet for a moment. “You really thought I was gay?” he asks then, wrinkling his nose. Kurt throws a pillow on him.

“Watch it. There’s two of us against one of you.”

“Oh _honey_ , I’m so _sorry_ ,” Alex mocks, getting up from the floor. “Move over,” he says and pokes at Sebastian’s shoulder, forcing him to sit up.

“Your essay is fine,” he says and flings the papers into Sebastian’s lap. “I’ve marked a few changes, but it’s totally fine.”

“ _Thank you_ ,” Sebastian says, flicking through the pages. “Seriously, thank you. I have no idea what I would’ve done without you.”

“Failed,” Alex replies. Sebastian smacks him on the shoulder.

“Have you applied for a dorm change?” Kurt asks Sebastian, trying to avoid a pillow fight and, or, a wrestling match.

“Dorm change?” Alex asks from his other side.

“Yeah, to get away from my homophobic jerk-ass roommate,” Sebastian tells him. “Yeah, I have. I told my dad there was too much partying in the shared dorms, so he even let me apply for a single.”

“As if it’s partying in the _dorms_ that is your problem,” Kurt mutters. Sebastian ignores him.

“Why didn’t you get a single in the first place?” Alex asks.

“Because my dad wanted me to have a ‘real, genuine, college experience’,” Sebastian sighs. “And he’s paying for it, so. Can’t really argue.”

“Let us know if you need any help moving,” Alex says, leaning back on the couch and pulling his feet up on the coffee table.

Kurt thinks it’s a sign that they’re actually friends when neither he nor Sebastian reacts to the us.

* * *

(Sun 2 dec, 2.55 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _You forgot your history book here_

(2.56 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _Ok_

Kurt looks at his screen for a few moments, deciding.

(2.59 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _You want to come with me and buy buttons for your shirt tomorrow? You can get your book back too_.

(5.13 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _Sure_

* * *

Shopping with Sebastian is both more frustrating and more refreshing than Kurt thought it would be. Sebastian really doesn’t have any sense of style, which means he doesn’t understand what Kurt wants. On the other hand, his ridiculous suggestions are eye-openers for Kurt. He needs something to make the shirt stand out, since rolled-up sleeves are out of the question.

When they finally leave the third store with what Kurt feels are the _right_ buttons, Sebastian is amazed at how many buttons there are. Kurt is surprised at how much fun he’s had.

“Hey, do you want coffee?” Sebastian asks. They’re outside of the café where Sebastian ran into Kurt.

Kurt looks at his watch. He should probably go home, but...

“Sure,” he smiles, and pushes the door open.

* * *

“Why are you so mean?” Kurt blurts out when they’re halfway through their coffees and have made small talk about classmates, teachers and coursework.

“Err,” Sebastian replies.

“I mean, you’re... nice. Now. But you really weren’t a year ago,” Kurt elaborates. Sebastian plucks crumbs off of his gingerbread biscotti and avoids Kurt’s eyes.

“It’s... easy?” he says, hesitantly. “Like, if people won’t like me, I can at least give them a _reason_ not to.”

“You were pretty popular at Dalton, though,” Kurt remarks.

“At Dalton, yeah, kind of. But before that? Before...France? Not so much.” He tugs at the cuffs of his shirt in an almost unconscious gesture.

“You were still pretty mean to me. And nice to Blaine,” Kurt says. Sebastian shifts in his seat.

“Honestly? It’s kind of fun to rile you up. And it’s not...most people get offended, then mad. You get offended, then mad, and then you give as good as you get.” He pops a bit of biscotti into his mouth. “It’s kind of like verbal foreplay.”

Kurt chokes on his coffee. “I’ll just pretend you never said that,” he says weakly when he’s done coughing. Sebastian shrugs.

“You have to admit it’s pretty fun though. Have you ever met anyone else who can keep up with your creative insults?”

And yeah, Kurt actually has to agree. He’s not so sure about the ‘verbal foreplay’ part, but he does some kind of thrill out of their jabbing.

“I suppose you may have a point,” Kurt admits out loud. Sebastian smirks. He totally knows that Kurt agrees with him completely.

“You want another biscotti?” he asks, standing up. “On me.” Kurt hesitates. “Come on, gayface,” Sebastian teases. “Live a little.”

“Yeah okay,” Kurt agrees. “But get me glass of water too, meerkat!”

Sebastian just waves him off over his shoulder.

* * *

_I’m a bitch, I’m a mother, I’m a child, I’m a lover~_

“Hel--”

“Are you dating the meerkat, Hummel?”

“Hi Santana, it’s nice to hear from you. How have you been. Oh, I’ve been fine, thank you!”

“Cut the crap, Kurt. I saw you yesterday. Are you seriously going out with that asshole?”

“No,” Kurt says, completely honestly. He sits up in the bed and takes the phone away from his ear for a second to get the time. “Why are you calling me at half past eight in the morning?” he asks. “And why do you _care_?”

“I’m on my way to work, I’m killing time. And he’s a dick, Hummel, that’s why I care. You remember what he did to--”

“Yeah well Blaine was kind of a dick, too,” Kurt interrupts. “And Sebastian has...changed.”

“Huh.” She doesn’t believe him.

“It’s true, Santana. There’s a lot of backstory. And anyway, we’re not dating.” _And we never will be, because one, he thinks I’m ugly and two, I’m a freak_.

They’re both silent for a moment.

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Santana says eventually.

“I know,” Kurt replies. “Thanks. But I really think I can handle this. And if I can’t, I promise you can go all Lima Heights on his ass,” he finishes, teasingly.

“I’m gonna hold you to that. This is my station, it was nice talking to you. Keep safe, will you?”

“I will,” Kurt promises. “You too.”

“Always,” she replies, and Kurt can hear her smug smile as she hangs up.

* * *

(Wed 12 dec, 4.56 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _3.30 pm on the 18th. DON’T BE LATE!!!_

(4.58 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _Okok_

(5.00 pm)  
 **Kurt:** _And can you come over tomorrow? Around 11?_

(5.01 pm)  
 **Sebastian:** _Yes_

* * *

Sebastian shows up fifteen minutes early on the 18th, and Kurt is eternally grateful. He hasn’t been nervous about the presentation before, but he woke up this morning with his stomach in knots and has been on the verge of throwing up the whole day.

His fingers shake when he tries to button Sebastian’s shirt and finally Sebastian grabs his wrists.

“Kurt. I can button a shirt. Breathe,” he says. Kurt takes a shaky breath and backs away.

“Of course. Yeah. Of course you can. Sorry.”

“What are you nervous about anyway?” Sebastian asks, shrugging to make the shirt fall into place over his shoulders. “I look hot.”

“They don’t know I’m doing clothes instead of sketches,” Kurt mutters. Sebastian lets his hands fall and stares at him.

“What? Are you serious?” he asks. Kurt nods.

“I won’t- it won’t impact my grade that I switched, but...they will probably be surprised. And confused. And _that_ might impact my grade.”

“Why haven’t you told them?”

“‘Hi, a jerk I know from high school spilled coffee over my drawings, so I’m making a suit instead’?” Kurt scoffs. “They would’ve laughed at me.” He hands Sebastian the suit jacket.

“Why?” Sebastian wonders and puts the jacket on carefully.

“Because I’m not supposed to be able to make a perfectly tailored suit in a month. Oh my god.” Kurt stares at Sebastian. “What if they think I cheated?!” He’s almost hyperventilating when Sebastian reaches out and puts his hands on Kurt’s shoulders.

“Kurt, come on, calm down. They won’t accuse you of cheating without a valid reason and proof. You being awesome is not proof,” he says. Kurt’s head snaps up.

“You think I’m awesome?” he asks. Sebastian’s lips quirk into a half-smile.

“I had to make you react. But _I_ look awesome in this suit, so I guess you can take some of the credit,” he says. Kurt rolls his eyes. Sebastian stretches his arms out in front of him. “Now, do your thing. You can’t really do anything about their eventual reactions now.”

“How are you so calm?” Kurt asks and starts to straighten Sebastian’s cuffs.

“I had my last final yesterday. My term is over. I have officially begun my Christmas holidays.”

“Fuck you,” Kurt mutters, but his tone is light.

“It’ll stain the suit,” Sebastian smirks. Kurt barely refrains from kicking him.

* * *

“Hey losers!” Alex shouts as he enters the apartment. “Catch!”

Kurt stretches a hand above the couch and catches the beer Alex throws, hands it to Sebastian, and then reaches up to catch the next. Sebastian stares at him. Kurt smiles smugly and pops his beer.

“You do _not_ want to know how much we’ve practiced that,” he says and takes a long sip. Alex comes over and flops down between them.

“How did it go?” he asks and puts an arm around Kurt’s shoulders. Kurt groans and buries his face in Alex’s shoulder. Sebastian chuckles beside him.

“It went good,” he replies for Kurt. “I told them the truth and Kurt looked like he wanted to murder me. But they looked impressed, I think.”

“It was terrifying,” Kurt moans. “I sucked.” He pouts and Alex pats him on the head.

“I’m sure you did good. You can drown your sorrows in alcohol tonight.”

“I already am,” Kurt points out and holds up his beer.

“Aw _honey_ , no you’re not.” Alex turns to Sebastian. “You up for partying tonight? Lots of homosexual man-ass to conquer,” he says and wiggles his eyebrows. Sebastian smacks him on the shoulder, but he’s smiling.

“Sure.”

* * *

They arrive when the party is already in full swing. Alex disappears almost immediately, leaving Kurt and Sebastian alone.

“You want a drink?” Sebastian asks. Kurt nods.

“Wine, please.” Sebastian takes off, zig-zagging between people to get to the kitchen. _Party rock is in the house tonight, everybody just have a good time_. He manages to get a glass of wine and a beer and then starts making his way back. Kurt has moved from where Sebastian left him, but he’s pretty easy to spot.

He’s standing with his back against the wall, talking to some blonde guy. They’re looking pretty intimate. Sebastian is just about to turn around and entertain himself when he notices Kurt’s posture.

He’s tense. Like, extremely tense. They guy is leaning on his elbow against the wall, crowding into Kurt’s personal space. The only one Sebastian has seen that close to Kurt is Alex, and Kurt has never looked that uncomfortable even in the presence of Sebastian.

Sebastian can see Kurt saying _no_ , but the guy doesn’t back off. Sebastian starts crossing through the sea of people faster, almost spilling Kurt’s wine.

“Hi, babe,” he smiles gently when he reaches Kurt and the blonde. “Here,” he says and hands Kurt the glass, then he slides his arm around Kurt’s waist. He turns to the guy.

“Hi,” he says, smile still in place. The guy glares at him.

“You could’ve told me you were busy,” he mutters to Kurt before turning away and disappearing. Sebastian removes his arm from Kurt’s waist and takes a step back, giving him space.

“Thanks,” Kurt says and then proceeds to down half his glass. Sebastian doesn’t know if the thank you is for the wine, the save or the backing off. Maybe it’s for all three.

* * *

Two hours later, Kurt is back against a wall again, with the same blonde guy from before hovering over him.

“Your boyfriend seems to have abandoned you,” he smirks, and his breath reeks of alcohol. Kurt is on his second glass of wine, but he’s been at it for an hour, so he’s only pleasantly buzzed. Not drunk out of his mind, like mister my-hair-is-faker-than-Sam’s. Kurt looks around for Alex or Sebastian, but he can’t find any of them. He tries to wrangle himself away, but the guy moves to stand directly in front of Kurt.

“Going somewhere?” he leers. Kurt is prepared to aim a knee at his junk when suddenly there’s a hand in his back pocket, a warm, gentle pressure against his side and a now familiar smell of cologne.

“Problem, babe?” Sebastian asks. This time though, the guy doesn’t back away.

“What are you, his bodyguard? You haven’t been close to him all evening and now suddenly you’re all over him?” the guy scoffs.

“I don’t think bodyguards do this,” is all Sebastian says, and Kurt doesn’t even have time to react before his mouth is captured by Sebastian’s.

NYADA should be fucking sorry for not accepting Kurt. He doesn’t even bat an eye before kissing back, one hand coming up to grab Sebastian’s neck and keep him close. Kissing him is nothing like kissing Blaine, and it’s a thousand times better. Sebastian is controlling and greedy where Blaine was weak and needy, his lips are a little bit chapped where Blaine’s were soft. He’s teasing with just a hint of tongue where Blaine was often too much, and Sebastian’s night o’clock shadow is rasping against Kurt’s face where Blaine’s smooth-shaven cheeks never did.

It’s _so good_ to finally kiss someone again, and kissing _Sebastian_ is better than Kurt ever would’ve imagined. He has missed this, has missed the taste and feel of another mouth against his. Kurt hasn’t let himself think about it, hasn’t let himself long for the intimacy. Now when he’s at it, he realizes that he has missed it terribly.

Sebastian is the one to break away.

“Are you drunk?” he asks. Kurt shakes his head. He’s not sober, but he’s not drunk. He knows what he’s doing.

“No,” he says, to emphasize the gesture. “You?” Sebastian shakes his head, too.

“Come on.” He grabs Kurt’s hand and drags him to the kitchen. “It’s a bit quieter here,” he says, and in the dim light, Kurt can swear he’s blushing.

Kurt jumps up to sit on the counter. He’s tired of standing, and it makes things a bit more comfortable when Sebastian settles himself against the counter, between Kurt’s legs. He’s leaning in and is just about to kiss Kurt again, but then he starts _talking_.

“What about Jesse?” he asks, without backing away. Kurt frowns and has to think really fast. _Jesse_?

“Jesse?” he says, because he doesn’t understand.

“Yeah, you- there was a Skype date? Like a few weeks ago?” Sebastian is still standing with his face mere inches from Kurt’s. It’s unsettling, especially when Kurt is trying to understand what Sebastian is talking about.

“What...oh. I was talking to _Rachel_. About Jesse. The guy she’s dating.”

“Oh.” Sebastian does at least look a bit sheepish. “Okay. You- you don’t mind if I do this again, then?” he says in an almost-whisper, breath ghosting over Kurt’s lips. Kurt shakes his head.

“Not at all.”

* * *

They kiss until their lips are sore, and then they kiss some more. Kurt has to break away a few times to talk to some of his classmates, but Sebastian never leaves. He stays between Kurt’s legs, and Kurt _likes_ him there. They probably won’t see much of each other again, they have no reason to. Sebastian will meet new cool people, and Kurt will go back to where he was before. He doesn’t feel bad about spending their last hours together kissing.

The stereo is in the middle of a Rihanna marathon when someone suddenly actually does stop the music. There are scattered jeers and shouts from across the house, but then the music starts up again, a different song.

Kurt knows this song. He’s painfully familiar with every single note of this song and who the fuck interrupts a Rihanna marathon to put on _Baby, it’s cold outside_?! Sebastian must feel him tense, because he backs away.

“Something wrong?”

Kurt doesn’t know what to say. Somehow _my ex and I sang a duet on this before we were even together and it’s still one of the best moments of my life_ just doesn’t cut it.

“No,” he says. “I just...I need to get home; I’m flying out to Lima tomorrow.” He braces himself on the counter, preparing to jump down, but Sebastian steps back between his legs.

“But baby, it’s cold outside,” he teases in a low voice. Kurt takes a shaky breath and shuts his eyes, willing himself not to cry. When he feels somewhat confident that he can open them without tears spilling over, he does. The sight of a now worried Sebastian nearly breaks him again. He pushes him away gently and slides down on the floor.

“I just really need to go,” he says, averts Sebastian’s eyes and then starts to make his way to the room where they left their coats. He can hear Sebastian shout his name, but he doesn’t look back.

* * *

Kurt gets a text when he’s just buried himself under the covers. He reaches for his phone and squints at the brightly lit screen in the darkness of his room.

(Wed 19 dec, 2.14 am)  
 **Alex:** _Are you ok? S said you just left._

 _I’m an emotional wreck. I spent the night kissing a guy that I despised up until a month ago. The same guy who’s had the hots for my ex for a year. My ex who has a cock. Who dumped me because I don’t have one. My very gay ex and this very gay guy who are probably better off together, and I’m just a way for them to reconnect. I hate my life and most of all myself because I am a freak and I have no idea what happened tonight and I am a horrible person_.

(2.16 am)  
 **Kurt:** _I’m fine. I’m home. See you tomorrow._


	6. Chapter 5

Kurt nods off in the cab to the airport, and sleeps on the plane ride to Columbus. He’s a bit hung over and his eyes hurt from the crying he did when he woke up this morning. The sight of his dad makes him weepy again and he buries his face in Burt’s suit jacket before barely even saying hello.

“Hey, Kiddo,” his dad says, voice a bit rough, and embraces him. “Are you alright?” he asks when Kurt doesn’t let go. Kurt nods, breathes in the familiar scent of his dad, backs away.

“Yeah, I...I’ve just missed you,” he says, trying for cheerful but failing. Burt raises an eyebrow, but he doesn’t comment.

“I’ve missed you, too,” he says and grabs Kurt’s bag with one hand, slinging his other arm around Kurt’s shoulder. “The house has been quiet without you.”

“When’s Finn coming home?”

“Saturday.”

They walk in silence the rest of the way to the car.

“Okay Kiddo, what’s up?” Burt asks when they’re settled in the car. He has the key in the ignition but he hasn’t turned on the engine. Kurt turns from where he’s been looking out through the window.

“What?” he asks. Burt looks at him. “Nothing!” Kurt exclaims. “Why?”

“When we talk on the phone I can barely get you to shut up long enough to say hello to you, and now that you’re home you don’t say a word? Forgive me for thinking something’s up.”

Kurt sighs. “Sorry. It’s just- I...made out with this guy. Yesterday.”

“U-huh?”

“And- I think I like him? But something happened that reminded me of Blaine, so I left, and now I probably won’t see him again because we have no reason to see each other, and even if we do, it might be kind of awkward, but I’d really, really like to see him again, but he doesn’t- he doesn’t _know_. About- me. And so even if we _do_ meet again and maybe make out some more and then... other things.” Burt clears his throat and Kurt most certainly does not blush. “Even if... He’ll still run away screaming. Because I’m a freak and I won’t ever find someone who doesn’t think that and it just _sucks_ , dad, that I’m gay, and taking so much crap for it, and I’m not even a real man. I’m a fucking joke and--”

“Hey, wow, hey, calm down, Kurt,” Burt interrupts and holds up a hand. “Calm down. Look at me,” he says. Kurt doesn’t. Burt grasps his shoulder. “ _Look at me_.” Kurt turns his face, reluctantly, staring expectantly at his dad.

“Kurt, _you are not a freak_. You’re - unusual. Not a freak. You’re an extraordinary young _man_ ; you’re freakin’ smart and talented in so many ways. _I’m proud of you_ , Kurt. And you _will_ find someone else who is, too. Maybe- maybe not today, or tomorrow, or in college. But you _will_. You found Blaine, didn’t you?”

“Dad, Blaine wouldn’t- he wouldn’t even touch me. I- that’s not a relationship,” Kurt remarks bitterly.

“But he was _something_ , Kurt. You thought you’d never find anything? And then you found Blaine? The same will happen with an even better guy, Kurt. It will.”

“How can you be so sure?” Kurt asks, and he hates how small he sounds.

“Because you’re amazing, Kurt. And I can’t get it into my head that I would be the only one who sees that.”

Kurt smiles weakly. “Thanks, Dad.” Burt smiles back and starts up the engine.

“Anytime, Kiddo.” He maneuvers them out of the parking lot and onto the main road before speaking again. “Besides, how can you be so sure this guy won’t accept you?”

Kurt snorts. For a short moment he actually considers telling his dad it’s Sebastian, but no, they’re on an open road and seatbelts only do so much for protection.

“I just know,” he says. “It’s pretty obvious.”

* * *

The day before Christmas, Kurt is out doing last minute shopping with Mercedes. He let his parents have Finn for themselves all day. Mercedes is gushing about life in LA and her new boyfriend, who sounds like he could be the real deal. Kurt enjoys his education, he really does, but listening to Mercedes, he can’t help but feel he’s missing out on something. He’s not at NYADA with Rachel. He knows he’s going to change his mind again and be content with going into fashion as soon as Rachel starts talking, but he still can’t help the wistful feeling that comes over him.

“Well, I’m all done!” Mercedes says when it’s nearing four o’clock. Kurt looks down at his own bags. He’s been done for the past two hours, it didn’t take very long to do last minute shopping for three people.

“Yeah, me too,” he says. “Wanna go for coffee?”

“Yes please!” Mercedes says and steers them towards the parking lot.

* * *

They enter the Lima Bean just after the afternoon rush.

“You order for me,” Kurt says. “The usual. I’ll get a table.” Mercedes nods and Kurt turns around. Then he stops.

Blaine is here.

Maybe NYADA shouldn’t be so sorry after all. Kurt freezes and he can swear his brain stops working for a few moments. Blaine hasn’t seen him, and Kurt plans to keep it that way. He can’t deal with Blaine; not right now. He turns around again and walks up to Mercedes, who still hasn’t ordered.

“Can we go?” he asks in a low voice. She looks at him, worried.

“Is there something wrong?” she asks. Kurt jerks his head in Blaine’s direction. He sees in her expression when she sees him. “Oh, Kurt.” She steps away from the line. “Of course.”

Kurt hurries out of the coffee shop and doesn’t slow down until he reaches the car.

“You want to go home?” Mercedes asks as she climbs into the passenger seat of the Navigator. Kurt shakes his head. He’d said he’d be out until six, and he really wants to give his parents that time with Finn.

“No. Can we just go somewhere else?”

“Yeah. My mom said there’s a new place just around the corner of the community theatre, we could try that?” Her tone is light, but Kurt can hear her worry. He nods.

“Sounds perfect,” he says, and puts the car in drive.

* * *

He calls Sebastian late on Christmas Eve. They haven’t had any contact since Kurt fled the party. Kurt doesn’t know what to make of that. He’s fairly certain that Sebastian never wants to hear from him again. He’s also fairly certain that they’re both better off with not hearing from each other again. Kurt won’t have to be let down again and Sebastian won’t have to get some kind of hope up. It’ll be smoother for both of them to ease out of each other’s life like this. Kurt is just going to call and say that he saw Blaine at the Lima Bean and that he’s still single and if Sebastian is still up for it, Blaine probably will be, too.

He scrolls through his phone until he gets to Sebastian and presses call.

Six rings, then voicemail.

Kurt hangs up.

* * *

Christmas passes quietly. There’s food and presents and hot chocolate, there’s sales shopping with Carole and there’s gaming with Finn and Puck. Late on the 27th, Kurt gets a text.

(Thur 27 Dec, 11.07 pm)  
 **Blaine:** _Heard you were home for the holidays :) Are you going to Rachel’s new years party? :) Blaine xx_

Kurt stares at his phone. He had been planning to go to Rachel’s party, but now he’s not so sure.

Of course Rachel invited Blaine. Kurt loves her, he really does, but she also irks him like nobody else. Of course she’s still friends with Blaine. She wants to be friends with everyone, and she can’t ever see why other people’s relations would or should affect her relations with them. Blaine broke up with Kurt, but Rachel genuinely doesn’t see why that should prevent her from still being friends with Blaine. It doesn’t matter to her that he hurt Kurt.

Kurt sighs.

“You’re going to Rachel’s party?” he asks Finn, who’s on the other end of the couch.

“Yeah. Are you?”

“I... don’t know,” Kurt says, truthfully. “You know Jesse is probably gonna be there, right?”

“Jesse St James?” Finns frowns. Kurt nods.

“U-huh. You know they’ve been on and off since September?”

Judging by the growing wrinkle on Finn’s forehead, he doesn’t know. Or hadn’t known.

“Are they serious?” he asks. Kurt shrugs.

“I think so. I mean, she brought him home for the holidays.”

“Fuck,” Finn mutters, glaring at the coffee table. “Fuck.” He grabs the Xbox control of the table. “You in?” he asks and holds the control up to Kurt. “I need to kill something.”

Kurt looks down at his phone.

“I call player one,” he says and reaches for the control.

* * *

“Hey Kiddo,” Burt greets when Kurt enters the kitchen the next morning. “There’s coffee.”

Kurt hums gratefully and steers towards the coffee maker.

“Late night?” Burt asks as Kurt pours life inducing black liquid into the Disney World mug.

“Yeah,” Kurt says and takes a sip. “Me and Finn had some aggressions to work out.”

“Are you two alright?”

“Yes. It wasn’t with each other.” Kurt plucks a piece of bread into the toaster and sits down at the table. “Dad, I...I know I said I’d stay until New Year’s, but I’m actually thinking about going home tomorrow.” He doesn’t meet his dad’s eyes. “I have an open ticket, so it’s not an extra cost or anything.” The toaster flips the bread and Kurt gets up to get it. “Could you drive me to the airport?”

Burt sighs.

“Of course. I’m not--I won’t say I’m happy about it, ‘cause quite frankly I would like to have you here for another few days, but you’re an adult. You make your own decisions.”

Kurt sits down at the table again.

“It’s Blaine,” he says. “He’s...I--It just takes _so much energy_ to constantly have to worry if I’m gonna run into him whenever I leave the house. I can’t--I really didn’t think that it would be this bad, you know? I thought I’d be able to handle the _sight_ of him, but he was at the Lima Bean on the 24th, and I freaked.” Kurt takes a breath and a bite of his toast. Burt keeps silent.

“And he’s going to Rachel’s party,” Kurt continues when he’s chewed and swallowed. “And I really can’t deal with that. And Finn’s also going, and Jesse will be there, and that is a train wreck waiting to happen and I can’t deal with that either.

“I’d rather go back to New York than spend a week here just holed up in my room,” he finishes, almost pleadingly.

“Okay,” his dad says. Kurt knows he means exactly that - it’s okay. “Kurt, you know you can talk to me, right? If it ever gets too much. I...might not be able to help you much, but I’ll always listen.”

Kurt smiles. “I know, dad,” he says, because he does. “Thanks. I love you.”

“I love you too, son.”

* * *

Kurt is in hell.

Hell is located 30,000 feet up in the air, between an old lady who _just won’t shut up_ and a mother with a kid that _just won’t stop screaming_.

His iPod is doing a really shitty job of filtering out the noise, and his holiday issue of Vogue is not doing anything to help, either. He dries to draw, but the kid tries to steal his pen. He tries to do the crossword in the airline-issued magazine, but the old lady keeps pointing out the right answers.

To add insult to injury, the guy across the aisle, right in the middle of Kurt’s vision, looks a lot like Blaine.

This is _hell_.

* * *

It doesn’t even get better when he gets home. There are suspicious sounds hitting his ears as soon as he unlocks the door to the apartment. When he rounds the corner to the living room, he’s greeted with the sight of a dark-skinned brunette straddling Alex on the couch. As far as Kurt can see, their clothes are still on, but judging by the sounds, they won’t be for long.

“Uhm, hello,” he says, coughing to get their attention. The girl’s head snaps up and Alex whips his head around.

“Kurt! I thought you wouldn’t be home until next week?” he says, a bit flustered.

“Yeah. Change of plans,” Kurt replies with a half-shrug.

“Are you alright?” Alex asks, and Kurt knows he’s concerned. If Kurt says no, Alex will have the girl leave the apartment in a heartbeat. Kurt doesn’t want that, he doesn’t really need it, so he just nods.

“Yeah. I’ll just go and stay with Santana,” he says.

“Are you sure?” Alex prompts.

“I’m sure. You... have fun. But not _too_ fun on the couch, okay?” Kurt makes a disgusted face to emphasize his point.

“I promise,” Alex says, and then Kurt leaves again.

* * *

“I hate my life. Can I stay with you for a day or two?” Kurt asks as soon as Santana picks up, not even waiting for her greeting.

“Mi casa es su casa, gayboy,” she says, taking it in stride.

“See you in twenty.”

* * *

Santana has to work, so Kurt is left mostly to his own devices. Alex texted him a few hours after he left to tell him he could come home, but Kurt enjoys the silence of Santana’s tiny apartment. When she’s home she’s something familiar, and Kurt didn’t necessarily want to leave _Lima_ , so it’s nice.

“What happened to the meerkat?” Santana asks on New Year’s Eve. Alex had texted and asked if he wanted to go to the party their classmates were throwing, but Kurt really wasn’t feeling up to it. Santana has worked the afternoon and has the early shift tomorrow, so she has bought them wine and is now forcing Kurt to have a ‘lovely heart to heart with Auntie Tana’.

“We kissed,” Kurt says and proceeds to down half of his glass.

“Ex _cuse_ me?” Santana says and stares at him. Kurd avoids her eyes.

“Yeah. We were at a party and some guy was coming onto me and Sebastian...saved me. By kissing me. And then we continued.” Why is he even telling her this? He glares at his glass of wine.

“...Huh.” Santana refills her glass. “And then?” she prompts.

“Then nothing. Some idiot started playing _Baby, it’s cold outside_ and I freaked,” Kurt mutters.

“You’re pathetic, Hummel,” she says cheerfully.

“I know,” Kurt says miserably and sinks down lower on the couch.

“He has a nice ass, I’ll give him that. You should’ve at least tried to do it.”

“Santana.”

“I’m just saying! It’s been a complete waste of time if you didn’t even get laid.”

“Not everything is about sex, Santana,” Kurt mutters. She snorts.

“Of course it is. You can’t honestly say that you and hobbit ended because of something else than sex reasons.”

Santana doesn’t even know about Kurt, but she’s still right. Kurt hates that he can’t argue. Santana gives him a meaning look and continues.

“And you can’t honestly say that sex isn’t a factor when you think about whether or not you should conquer the meerkat.” Kurt opens his mouth but she talks over him. “Don’t deny it. I know what you’re doing here during the days.”

“Santana...”

“Fuck him and leave him. Or if he’s good you can fuck him again. Then you can leave and get on with your life.”

“Thanks for that lovely advice, Auntie Tana,” Kurt says dryly.

“You’re welcome,” she smiles. “More wine?”

* * *

Kurt finally goes home two days after New Year’s. Alex has been texting him and he needs to get home before he has work tomorrow.

“Hey,” he calls when he enters the apartment. “You decent?”

“Hi sugar!” Alex calls back from the living room. “I borrowed something of yours, I hope you don’t mind!”

“As long as it’s not from my closet, it’s okay,” Kurt replies and sheds his coat and boots.

“Oh _believe me_ , this is _not_ from the closet. I don’t think it’s ever been there,” Alex says. He sounds pleased with himself, like he does every time he comes up with a really bad pun. Kurt sighs and rounds the corner.

“What is... it?”

Sebastian is standing on the living room floor. Alex is kneeling in front of him, pinning fabric around his waist.

“I borrowed your model. I wanted to make a kilt, but I don’t have the legs for it,” Alex explains. “And I could’ve used the dummy, but it was nice with some company, since, you know, you’ve been off to casa de Lopez, and...,” he trails off when he realizes that Kurt and Sebastian are just staring at each other, not even listening to him.

“Err... I’ll leave you guys alone for a minute,” he says and stands up. He puts his stuff on the coffee table and walks towards Kurt.

“I’m just gonna run to the grocery store, okay?” he says quietly so that Sebastian won’t hear. “Call me if you need me.” He kisses Kurt on the cheek and then he turns around again. “Can you... just stay like that for a while?” he asks Sebastian, gesturing to the stripes of fabric around his waist. “Don’t move. And don’t sit down.”

Then he leaves. Kurt and an immobile Sebastian are alone.


	7. Chapter 6

“So,” Sebastian says when they’ve both been silent for an awkwardly long time. “Had a good holiday?”

Kurt finally moves from where he’s been standing frozen on the floor and goes to sit down on the couch.

“I saw Blaine,” he says as a way of reply.

“Uhm. Okay?” Sebastian says, not really following.

“And I called you.”

“Yeah, I...,” Sebastian trails off and brings up a hand to scratch his neck. “I saw that. I just... didn’t want to deal with that on Christmas,” he says.

“With me? Am I that horrible?”

“What? No! I just...you ran away from me. We kissed, and then you fled, and then you didn’t say anything until one missed phone call on Christmas Eve.” Sebastian sighs and drags his fingers through his hair. “I thought you were gonna say ‘thanks but no thanks, get out of my life’,” he says.

Kurt stares at him. Sebastian laughs completely humorlessly.

“Yeah. Shocking to realize I have feelings, right?”

“That’s not--,” Kurt begins, lies, but Sebastian interrupts him.

“It was.” He shifts and looks really uncomfortable where he’s forced to stand. “I was at my aunt’s, and they have kids, and they pick up on fucking _everything_ , so it was easier to just... ignore it. Sorry.”

Kurt is silent for a while before he replies.

“I was just gonna say that I saw Blaine, and that I think he’s still available,” he says eventually.

Now Sebastian is staring at him.

“Why would I care about Blaine?” he asks, incredulous. “Or... did you call me to tell me that you’re gonna get together with him again?”

“What? No, I don’t want to be together with Blaine again. I thought you would. You were after him all through senior year,” Kurt says.

Sebastian snorts. “Yeah, and then I grew up,” he mutters.

“You don’t want Blaine?” Kurt asks. This is actually news for him.

“Hummel, do you really, honestly think I’d be _here_ hanging out with _your roommate_ if I wanted _Blaine_?” Sebastian asks.

Kurt shrugs. “You can have whatever friends you want.”

“Yeah, and I want to be friends with you, and maybe Alex. Not Blaine.”

Kurt thinks about everything that will inevitably go wrong. Thinks of what Santana said. Thinks of kissing Sebastian again. Thinks of Sebastian’s reaction when he tells him. Thinks of his own heart when Sebastian dumps him.

He knows he’s setting himself up for a spectacular heartbreak, but that doesn’t stop him from saying “Okay.”

* * *

The next weekend, Alex is throwing a ‘before the start of term’ party and Sebastian is invited. Santana invites herself, stating that it’s her belated New Year’s party, and Kurt is a bit worried about how the meeting between the two of them might go.

“Hey, do you know where we put the spare wine glasses?” Alex asks from the kitchen doorway. Kurt is trying to fit all of their coats and jackets and shoes into the hallway closet. He pauses and pushes the hair from his eyes.

“I think they’re in the back of the cupboard, in the corner,” he says. Alex hums, but doesn’t move. “Anything else?” Kurt asks, pushing one of his boots further into the closet.

“You know when Sebastian’s coming?” Alex asks. His tone suggests that he’d really want to ask something else, and Kurt has a pretty good idea what. He pretends he doesn’t, though.

“I don’t know. Around six, I think. Why?”

“I was just...wondering.” Alex shifts in the doorway but he doesn’t turn away. “Is there something going on between the two of you?” Ah, there it is. Kurt smiles, his face hidden by the closet.

“I don’t know,” he answers honestly. “I think there maybe could be?” He schools his face and turns around. Alex is smiling fondly.

“Does this mean I can’t hug you anymore?” he asks, teasingly.

“I don’t think Sebastian will have a problem with me hugging a straight guy,” Kurt remarks dryly.

“Good, ‘cause I don’t wanna sto-op,” Alex sing-songs and turns back into the kitchen.

* * *

Sebastian doesn’t arrive until eight. Kurt barely has time to greet him though before Santana opens the door without knocking.

“Hi. I brought booze,” she says and holds up a bottle of Vodka. Then she sees Sebastian.

“Smythe,” she says through clenched teeth.

“Lopez,” he says, equally forced. Kurt looks between them.

“Could you two please try and get along for the evening?” he asks. “For me?” he begs and adds the puppy eyes look. Both Santana and Sebastian wither. Sebastian reaches out a hand to shake Santana’s, and she hesitates a second before she grabs it.

“This doesn’t mean we’re friends,” she says. Sebastian laughs.

“Oh, don’t get your hopes up. I wouldn’t dream of it,” he says.

Kurt rolls his eyes.

“Why did I ever think this was a good idea?” he asks, mostly to himself, and leaves the two of them to go and join Alex in the kitchen.

* * *

Since Santana is at the party, everything soon evolves into a game of truth or dare.

Kurt and Sebastian are sitting next to each other on the floor, their shoulders pressing together. Santana has been sending pointed looks in Kurt’s direction all night and Kurt has ignored them all. He really should have seen it coming when the turn comes to him, he chooses dare, and she smiles smugly. Kurt always chooses dare, because he never knows what truths he may be forced to spill. He could lie, of course, but he always feels bad when he does. When alcohol became a part of the picture, he also discovered that his verbal filter kind of disappears.

“My, my, Hummel. Feeling adventurous?” she asks.

“Just give it to me, Santana,” Kurt sighs, not in at all in the mood for her hints and subtexts.

“ _Single Ladies_ ,” she says. The other participants look at her in confusion, but Kurt’s eyes widen in realization.

“No,” he says.

“Yes,” she says. “Brittany told me all about it. Show us what you’ve got, Hummel.”

“What’s she talking about?” Sebastian asks. Kurt grabs his shot glass and downs it before standing up.

“You’ll see,” he mutters to Sebastian and walks over to the stereo. His iPod is docked and he scrolls through his playlists, looking for the right one. He sheds his cardigan so he’s left only in his tight jeans and a t-shirt, then he presses play.

The familiar beat starts up and Kurt starts snapping his hips almost on autopilot. He doesn’t really have to concentrate to remember the steps and he’s certainly not putting much energy into it. He’s never been one to do things halfway though, so it’s still pretty good. When the first chorus is over, he stops dancing and goes over to the stereo to change the music again. When he turns around, his friends are staring at him with varying expressions. Most of them don’t even know Kurt used to sing, much less that he originally applied to a musical theatre program.

“That good enough?” he asks, glaring at Santana. She smiles sweetly back at him.

“Perfect. You should use those hips more often,” she says and glances pointedly at Sebastian. Kurt blushes at her innuendo and hopes that no one else caught it, especially not Sebastian. He moves to sit down again, but Sebastian stands up before he can do it.

“I need to talk to you,” Sebastian growls and grabs Kurt’s wrist, dragging him into the narrow hallway outside the bedrooms. He slams the door shut and before Kurt even has a chance to react, Sebastian has him pressed against the wall; kissing him.

It’s sloppier than Kurt remembers because they’re drunker than last time, but it’s still _so good_. He moans into the kiss, his hands coming up to tangle in Sebastian’s hair.

“I had no idea you could do that,” Sebastian pants between kisses.

“You liked it?” Kurt asks, trying to sound smug but failing spectacularly, instead only hitting confused. Sebastian presses himself closer to Kurt and oh, okay, there is the answer. Kurt lets his hands slide a bit lower, one hand staying at Sebastian’s neck, keeping him close during the kissing, the other sliding down across his back.

“I’ve wanted to do this since I came here tonight,” Sebastian murmurs and moves his mouth to kiss Kurt’s cheek and down across his jaw. “Your ass looks really good in those jeans.”

“I thought you didn’t like my ass,” Kurt gasps and lets his head fall back against the wall. Sebastian takes the opportunity to mouth at his exposed neck.

“I thought I couldn’t _have_ your ass,” he corrects between licks and open-mouthed kisses. “It’s a really nice ass.”

“Stop complimenting my ass and kiss me,” Kurt mutters and grabs at Sebastian’s hair to get their mouths to align again. Sebastian obeys happily, sliding his tongue against Kurt’s while Kurt lets his hands fall down along Sebastian’s back. He slips his fingers in under the hem of Sebastian’s shirt, strokes the soft skin and relishes in the feeling of something alive and warm under his touch.

“Touch me,” Sebastian whispers in Kurt’s ear. Wow, okay, apparently Kurt isn’t the only one who loses their verbal filter when drunk. He can feel Sebastian’s erection press against his hip.

“Can we--bedroom?” Kurt pants, twisting his mouth away from Sebastian’s to be able to speak. Sebastian nods but attacks Kurt’s mouth again, barely letting him breathe, much less move into the bedroom. While Kurt assumes that most of the people on the other side of the door knows what they’re doing, or at least can guess, he really doesn’t put it past any of them to open the door to the hallway. He moves his hands to Sebastian’s chest and gently pushes him away, in the direction of his bedroom.

“Come on,” Kurt says. “Inside.” Sebastian presses one last kiss onto Kurt’s jaw before turning around.

“First door,” Kurt says, following close behind. As soon as they’re inside and Kurt has turned the lock, he presses Sebastian against the wall and attacks his mouth.

There’s almost no finesse in their kisses now, it’s just a mess of tongue and teeth and lips, but it’s _desperate_ in a way kissing Blaine never was. Blaine was never hungry for it the way Sebastian is, and okay, Kurt really needs to _stop_ comparing Sebastian to Blaine when they’re making out (and anytime else). He moves his mouth to kiss along Sebastian’s cheekbones, nibbles on his earlobe, nuzzles the skin beneath his ear. He drags his hand along the front of Sebastian’s shirt, stopping when he reaches the hem of his pants. Kurt glances at Sebastian’s face, meets his gaze for a brief moment, searches for any hint of regret, doesn’t find any. He moves his hand further down, tracing his fingers along the outline of Sebastian’s cock through his jeans.

“Kurt,” Sebastian moans. Kurt covers him with his palm, squeezes, causes Sebastian to gasp and jerk into his touch. “ _Fuck_.”

Kurt claims Sebastian’s mouth again, biting lightly on his lips. Sebastian groans and tangles his fingers in Kurt’s hair. Kurt starts to unbutton Sebastian’s fly, dragging the zipper down painstakingly slow. He grins smugly into the kiss when Sebastian can’t stop arching up into the teasing touch. When the fly is undone, Kurt drags the jeans down enough to palm Sebastian’s cock through his boxers. There’s a wet spot on the worn cotton near the tip, and wow, Sebastian is really turned on.

“Impressive,” Kurt teases, breaking away from Sebastian’s mouth to press soothing kisses on his lips and to _breathe_ because hello, oxygen.

“Fuck,” Sebastian hisses, trying to press himself further into Kurt’s touch. “Kurt,” he moans, and his tone is _so pleading_. Kurt moves one hand back to rest on Sebastian’s ass, his fingers digging into his ass cheeks as he get as better grip around Sebastian’s hard cock through the fabric. He wants to bring Sebastian off like this, with nothing more than his touch through Sebastian’s underwear. He thinks he has a pretty good chance of succeeding.

Sebastian yanks at his hair to kiss him again and _fuck_ , Kurt ignores the heat in his lower abdomen, doesn’t want to acknowledge it. He places kisses down Sebastian’s neck, sucks at his pulse point, relishes in the sounds he’s making. His cock twitches in Kurt’s grasp and Kurt moves his other hand further down Sebastian’s ass, letting his fingers slide gently over his crack through his boxers.

“Nhngh, fuck, Kurt, come on,” Sebastian urges. Kurt takes pity on him and starts to jerk him in earnest. He totally loves having a cock in his hands again. While his and Blaine’s sex life wasn’t exactly satisfactory, Kurt certainly enjoyed what little they did. Or rather, what _he_ did, since Blaine was always on the receiving end.

Practice makes perfect, and while Sebastian doesn’t work the same way as Blaine, Kurt is quickly learning what differs and what things are similar. He rubs his thumb against the head of Sebastian’s cock, scratching his fingernail lightly through the damp cotton. Sebastian gasps like the air has been sucked out of him and tightens his grip on Kurt’s hair, pants against his lips, and then he comes.

Kurt feels the warm wetness seep out against his fingers and releases Sebastian’s ass, moving his hand to rest against the small of his back instead. He keeps his other hand on Sebastian’s spasming cock and doesn’t move until Sebastian slumps against the wall and rests his forehead against Kurt’s shoulder.

Kurt wipes his hand off on a dry patch on Sebastian’s underwear and moves up to tangle his fingers in his hair.

“Bed?” he asks. Sebastian nods, but he doesn’t move. “Come on,” Kurt smiles and nudges him. “I promise that my bed is more comfortable than my shoulder.”

Sebastian mouths at Kurt’s neck and starts to trail his fingers down Kurt’s sides.

“Mm, you want me to...?” he mumbles and rests his fingers on the waistband of Kurt’s jeans. Kurt stiffens.

“No, I- I’m pretty- I mean, I don’t--alcohol,” he finishes weakly, hoping that Sebastian will understand and believe his lie. Sebastian raises his head and smirks at Kurt. Kurt breathes out a sigh of relief. He bought it.

“Want to sleep it off?” Sebastian asks with a sleepy grin.

Kurt backs away and starts to unbutton his shirt.

“You want to borrow a pair of underwear?” he asks, nodding to the pair Sebastian is wearing.

“Nah,” Sebastian says and starts pulling off his pants. “I’ll just sleep without them.” He steps out of his pants and drags his cardigan over his head. Kurt gulps at the sight of him, naked from the waist down and just his tight long-sleeved t-shirt on top. He unbuttons the last of his shirt and sheds it off his shoulders. He pushes Sebastian gently towards the bed and turns around to get a pair of pajama pants from his dresser.

“Mm, we complement each other,” Sebastian mumbles, holding up the covers so Kurt can get in beside him.

Kurt crawls in and settles with his back to Sebastian’s chest. Sebastian wraps an arm around Kurt’s waist and pulls him closer, tangling their fingers on Kurt’s stomach and burying his nose in his hair.

“Good night,” he mumbles, and then drifts off almost immediately. Kurt keeps his eyes open until he feels that Sebastian is completely asleep. Only then does he let himself relax, somewhat confident that Sebastian won’t try to feel him up.

* * *

Sebastian wakes up in an empty bed. That’s not unusual, it’s what he does every single morning, but he’s not in his _own_ bed, and that is pretty fucking unusual. He squints around in the dimly lit room, wincing when the light hits his eyes and triggers his headache.

He’s at Kurt’s. He’s in _Kurt’s bed_.

He’s not wearing pants.

He’s still wearing his shirt though and he thanks his drunk self for small miracles. The sheets around him are cool, indicating that Kurt has been up for a while. Sebastian doesn’t even remember falling asleep.

He’s usually much, _much_ better at these things. He usually manages not to fall asleep at all, and then sneak out before the other guy wakes up. He doesn’t know where Kurt’s gone to, but if the sheets are cool, probably far away enough for Sebastian to sneak out unnoticed.

The thing that freaks him out is that he doesn’t want that. If he walks away, he’ll probably blow all his chances of ever coming here again, and he doesn’t want that.

He wants to come back.

His stomach gives a churn, and Sebastian doesn’t know if it’s because of the realization or because of the alcohol he consumed last night.

He doesn’t do this. He doesn’t sleep over, he doesn’t stay, and he most definitely doesn’t come back.

He hadn’t even planned on doing it with Blaine. He’d wanted to fuck him, sure, but the flirting was mostly to get a rouse out of Kurt.

The realization that he wanted to fuck _Kurt_ and then _stay_ had hit him somewhere between arriving at the end of term-party and kissing Kurt. It had, truly, been a spur of the moment thing to get rid of the creep, but fuck if he hadn’t liked it. And then _Kurt_ had left.

But he is here now. Or, at least Sebastian hopes he is. He hopes that Kurt didn’t flee the apartment as soon as he woke up to Sebastian in his bed. That he isn’t sitting at a café somewhere waiting for Sebastian to get away.

He really hopes that Kurt wasn’t too drunk to remember anything.

Sebastian sighs and drags a hand through his hair. He might as well get up and get it over with. He sits up at the edge of the bed and wraps the comforter around himself before standing up. Now, where do you find a guy in his own apartment...

He finds Kurt on the balcony. It’s not a big balcony; the only reason there are even two chairs on it is because the door opens inwards. The door is not completely shut and Sebastian knocks gently before opening it. Kurt jumps at the sound and twists around to look at him. He’s curled up on himself and wrapped in a thick comforter, but the air is _freezing_ and Sebastian shivers although he’s only been exposed to the cold for less than a minute.

“Hi,” he says eventually, when it seems like Kurt won’t be the first to speak. “Are you- do you want me to leave?” he blurts.

Kurt bites his lip and avoids Sebastian’s eyes. “Do _you_ want to leave?” he counters. Sebastian shifts and wraps the comforter harder around himself. This is his easy out. He decides to go with honesty.

“No,” he says. Kurt visibly relaxes, even through the thick comforter. “Could we go inside, though? ‘Cause if I get frostbite I _will_ leave.”

“Yeah of course,” Kurt says and unwraps himself to stand up. “I was just... clearing my head.”

Sebastian stands back to let him in, not completely sure where to put himself.

“Wanna go back to bed?” Kurt asks, wrapping the comforter tightly around himself again.

“Err.” Sebastian looks down on his bare feet and the goosebumps forming on his legs. “Yes.”

They reach the bedroom, and then they just stand there, wrapped in their respective comforters, staring at each other.

“I honestly thought you were gonna leave,” Kurt says after a while and drops his comforter on the bed. Sebastian moves closer, but he doesn’t shed his. He may have just slept half-naked, but he doesn’t really feel up to having whatever impending discussion they’re about to have the same way. Not when Kurt is clad in pajama pants, thick woolen socks and a fleece sweater.

“I thought that was your ‘game’ or whatever,” Kurt continues when Sebastian doesn’t comment.

“Yeah, I--it kinda is,” Sebastian admits. He’s - fuck it, he’s too tired, too confused, too hungover to be snarky or witty. “But I’m still here.” He gives a shrug, not really wanting to elaborate on _why_ he’s still here, on what his ‘game’ usually is.

“Okay,” Kurt says, shifting. He glances at the floor. “Why?”

Sebastian sighs in frustration. This was what he was trying to avoid.

“Because you have cable?” he snaps. Kurt winces at his tone and fixed his gaze more firmly on the floor boards. Sebastian drags a hand over his face, the comforter dropping a bit around his shoulders. “Fuck, Kurt, I don’t know, okay?”

He drops the comforter until it’s tucked around his waist, covering his legs and feet. “I just... didn’t want to leave. Can we keep it at that, for now?”

Kurt bites his lips, then he shrugs. “Okay.”

“Okay?” Sebastian echoes. Kurt shrugs.

“Yeah. I can live with that. For now.”

“Oh. Okay.”

They’re looking at each other, silence stretching awkwardly around them.

“Oh fuck it,” Sebastian says when he just can’t take it anymore. He loosens his grip on the comforter, lets it fall down to the floor and steps forward to kiss Kurt.

Kurt responds immediately, kissing back eagerly.

“Are you tested?” Kurt asks when they break away, moving his mouth to continue to place open-mouthed kisses on Sebastian’s cheek and chin between words.

Sebastian backs away a bit to stare at him.

“Are you, like, trying to sweet talk me?” he asks. “‘Cause I can give you a few tips, and that’s not one of them.”

Kurt rolls his eyes but steps closer to him.

“Are you?” he insists, nuzzling the skin beneath Sebastian’s ear.

Sebastian tries not to be embarrassed about the sound he makes at that, and tries to discreetly bend his head to the side to give Kurt better access.

“Yeah, like eight months ago. Why?” he asks, trying to keep his voice level.

“And have you had sex since?” Kurt inquiries, not stopping his assault on Sebastian’s neck.

“Are you trying to turn me off?” Sebastian gasps, his voice totally betraying his words.

“ _No_ ,” Kurt drawls in his ear. “I’m trying to figure out if I should blow you or not.”

Sebastian is not proud at how quickly his cock hardens at those words, but, hell, he’s a 19 year old guy, he’s allowed to get hard at the mention of a possible blowjob.

“You should,” he says, his hands coming up to tangle in Kurt’s hair and hold him close. “You really, really should.”

But he can feel Kurt smirk against his lips.

“Not until I know you’re clean,” he says, and fuck, how does he manage to sound seductive when he’s talking about STDs? Sebastian thinks he’s probably being insulted right now, but between being hungover and turned on, he can’t really think straight.

“Fine,” he mutters. “I’ll get tested. Can I blow you in the meantime?” His hands are already sliding down Kurt’s shoulders, but at his words, Kurt stiffens. “What, you didn’t think I did that?” Sebastian asks, teasing, but Kurt doesn’t relax one bit.

“I... can we- not do that?” Kurt asks, avoiding Sebastian’s eyes.

“What? Blowjob? But you just said--”

“Yeah, yeah but can we keep this like- one-sided? I really don’t like-- anyone touching me... there.”

Sebastian feels a cool rush of dread flow through him.

“Did Blaine to anything to you?” he asks, trying to keep himself as calm as possible. Kurt glances at his shoulders where Sebastian has unconsciously clenched his fists around the fabric of Kurt’s fleece. Apparently not _that_ calm, then.

“No,” Kurt says. “B-- he didn’t do anything.” A humorless smile flutters across his face. “No one did. I promise.”

Sebastian loosens his grip and starts running his hands up and down Kurt’s arms.

“Uhm, okay,” he says. “So just no reciprocation?” he clarifies. Kurt nods. “And you’re sure?” Sebastian has never met a guy before who’s declined a blowjob.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

He _sounds_ sure, and Sebastian figures that Kurt is an adult, a feisty one, and that if he’s actually uncomfortable with anything, he’ll say stop and not do it. So he leans in for another kiss, a bit tentative this time, and when Kurt kisses back hungrily, Sebastian decides that yes, he can live with this arrangement. For now.


	8. Chapter 7

Alex is in the kitchen when they exit Kurt’s room a couple of hours later.

“Good morning,” he greets them over a glass of orange juice, a bottle of aspirin, and a cup of coffee.

“Good morning,” Kurt smiles back, causing Alex to stare at him. He then whips his head and glares at Sebastian.

“What did you do to him?” he ask. Sebastian looks taken aback.

“Err- I didn’t- well, honestly, it was actually _Kurt_ who...,” Alex pales when he realizes what question Sebastian is answering and quickly covers his ears with his hands.

“No, no, no, no, no, that’s not what I meant, _god_ , please stop talking I do _not_ want to know.” He uncovers his ears and points to Kurt. “What did you do to him _now_? Usually I have to wait an hour to get him to even _look_ at me without laser eyes,” Alex says. Kurt smacks him on the head and grabs his coffee cup as revenge.

“Hey, I was drinking that!” Alex protests. Kurt smiles sweetly at him over the rim.

“Yeah, and if you don’t want a detailed description of _exactly_ what Sebastian did to me--or I did to him--I suggest you let me have it. I can provide sound effects if you’d like.” Kurt turns to the counter and holds up a piece of bread to Sebastian in question. Sebastian nods and Kurt puts two slices in the toaster.

“Ew, okay, fine, take it,” Alex says, slumping back in his chair. “Spare me the details. You can come here more often, though,” he says to Sebastian. “If it makes him like this. God knows my mornings would be far better.”

Sebastian eyes Kurt warily and sits down at the table.

“What’s he usually like?” he asks, his gaze fluttering between them as if he can’t decide who to address the question to.

“Like a bitch,” Alex mutters, swallowing an aspirin with some orange juice.

“Yeah, you would be too if your face was the first thing you saw when you entered the kitchen,” Kurt says and drops one plate in front of Sebastian and one on the spare seat. “That was the last coffee, sorry,” he says and nods to the now-empty cup on the counter. “You want tea? Or juice?”

“Sorry, this is the last,” Alex says, holding up his glass.

“I’ll have tea, then,” Sebastian says. “Since you have such a plethora of options.”

“I’m making you breakfast, cut the snark,” Kurt says and puts the kettle on.

“Toast and tea? Gee, what a wondrous meal. I’ll cut the snark when you make me pancakes,” Sebastian says.

Kurt abandons the kettle and sits down at the table. “And for that, you’ll just have to make it yourself,” he huffs, but there’s a smile in his eyes. Sebastian gets up and brushes his fingers over Kurt’s neck before taking his place at the counter and grabbing a mug from the drying rack. He’s completely unaware of Alex’s eyes on him.

* * *

During the next few weeks, they work out a pattern and a rhythm together. Sebastian is over at Kurt and Alex’s quite a lot, because yes, single dorm is awesome, but Kurt won’t sleep there and Sebastian is growing quite fond of their kisses. And fine, Kurt gives excellent handjobs, so that is part of the reason, too. Not that he would ever admit to any of it.

They’re not domestic, by any means. Not- yet. They still snipe at each other. Kurt is still not sure why Sebastian is here, why he’s in this, what’s in it for him. Honestly, Kurt doesn’t really know what’s in it for him, either. Sure, he likes Sebastian, he’s started to really, really like him. That’s kind of the problem. Underneath Sebastian’s big words and cocky attitude, Kurt is starting to see something else. He sees how Sebastian tries for Kurt, he sees the insecurities and the self-consciousness.

But he also sees how Sebastian reaches for him every other time when they’re in bed, and how he stops himself every time. This won’t be able to go on for long. Sebastian will demand an explanation soon, and Kurt will have to tell him, and Kurt knows that by now, that will make them both fall apart. Kurt has a feeling that Sebastian has never confided like this in anyone else. Every day that passes without Kurt telling him feels like lying, and he feels worse and worse about himself. He just doesn’t want what they have to end just _yet_.

They come close, though.

* * *

(Tue 5 Feb 1.15 pm)  
 **Blaine:** _Hey, so I know this is still your #, cause I asked Rachel. Can we talk again? I miss you! Blaine xx_

Kurt is having a really shitty day.

He’s had a mentally exhausting four-hour seminar on the history of fashion all morning, he barely had time to get lunch, and now he’s having a physically exhausting shift at the shop. Fucking New York weather and fucking tire changes and fucking oil leaks and on top of it all, the fucking coffee maker at work is broken. Everyone at work is behaving like moody teenagers due to the lack of caffeine, and it’s not exactly an inspiring work environment.

On top of that, there’s Blaine’s text. Kurt doesn’t understand. He hasn’t talked to Blaine since Blaine broke up with him over six months ago, but Blaine still keeps texting him about how much he _misses_ him?

Kurt and Sebastian are not official in any way. They’ve established that they’re friends, but nothing further. They kiss, and they fool around, and Alex refers to them as an item, but they... aren’t. Yet. Blaine doesn’t even know Kurt and Sebastian are talking to each other, he can’t possibly know. Kurt has only told Santana. Sometimes he feels bad for not telling Rachel, but then he realizes that she would let it slip to Blaine sooner or later, and Kurt doesn’t want to deal with that. Not when he doesn’t even know what he and Sebastian _are_.

These thoughts are filling Kurt’s head when he finally unlocks the door to the apartment and is greeted by the sounds of Alex beating Sebastian on Mario Kart. Kurt dumps his things right on the floor in the hallway, he doesn’t even bother to hang up his coat. He drags himself into the living room, slumps down on the couch between the two boys, curling up to Sebastian immediately. Sebastian drops a quick kiss on his forehead before turning his attention back to the TV and barely managing to turn in a curve.

“Rough day?” he asks, twisting his whole body in another curve.

“Hell,” Kurt replies and tries to snuggle closer to Sebastian’s moving body. “You staying here tonight?”

“Mm, you want me to?”

“Yeah, it’s just-” Kurt sighs. He’s so _tired_. “I have to change the sheets.” The game is loading, so Sebastian looks at him.

“God, you’re such a girl,” he says. He’s smiling, and Kurt gets that he’s just teasing, that he doesn’t mean any harm, but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Kurt stands up abruptly.

“Could you for _one time_ actually think about what you’re saying?” he says angrily. “Would it, like, physically _hurt_ you to consider other people’s feelings?”

“Kurt...,” Alex says, but Kurt ignores him, turns on his heels and goes into his room, slamming the doors behind him.

He starts ripping the sheets off of the bed, throws them in piles on the floor and tries to ignore the lump in his throat and the burning in his eyes. He’s not going to _cry_ just because _Sebastian_ called him a _girl_. He’s _not_. His breaths are shaky though.

There’s a knock on the door. “Kurt?” It’s Sebastian. Kurt doesn’t answer, doesn’t think that he _can_ without breaking down. Sebastian still opens the door.

“Hey, I’m... sorry?” he says cautiously. “I didn’t know you’d--”

“Well, that’s just the problem with you, isn’t it?” Kurt interrupts, his voice way too loud. “You don’t know shit about people, because you don’t care, and then you still go around and say stuff that’s hurtful in the first place but for some people it might just be the last straw.”

Sebastian is dead silent. Kurt knows they’re both thinking of last winter and competitions and hospital visits. This is _such_ a low blow, Kurt is aware of that. They’ve never breached this subject before, and now is so not the time or place or context for it, but fuck it, Kurt is sad, and angry, and hurt, and his brain has been reeling the whole day.

“Fuck you,” Sebastian says when it becomes clear that Kurt isn’t going to say anything else, or even backtrack. He turns around, and the front door slams before Kurt barely has a chance to react.

Alex comes in seconds later.

“What the fuck?!” he says, staring at Kurt. “What the hell was that?”

Kurt sighs and sits down on the bed, cradling a pillow in his arms.

“I- he might have triggered a suicide attempts during our senior year, and I might have brought it up,” Kurt says to the floor, desperately avoiding eye contact.

“Might have--what the _fuck_ , Kurt?” Kurt hears the thump when Alex slumps against the wall. “Why would you _do_ that?”

“I don’t know, okay?!” Kurt yells, tears threatening to spill once again. “I had a bad day and he said stuff and I just wanted to hurt him back!” Kurt looks up at Alex. “Why do you even care?”

Alex stares at him. “You’re such a--because you’re my friends!” he exclaims. “I care about you! Because you’ve been happier these last few weeks than you’ve been all fall, and I don’t want you to fuck that up just because you don’t know when to fucking _shut up_!” Alex finishes, much louder than when he started. He shoots Kurt one final glare before he exits the room, slamming the door behind him.

“I’m not making you dinner!” Alex yells before the hallway door slams shut, and then, a few moments later, the front door.

Kurt looks down at the piles of sheets, and with the next breath, he starts to cry.

* * *

There’s an icy silence between Kurt and Alex the next morning. Everything Kurt says is met with glares, so after a few attempts at conversation, Kurt stops. He still waits for Alex, though, even when he’s turning the apartment upside down for his metrocard.

“Come on,” Kurt mutters, tapping his fingers against his thighs impatiently. “You had it yesterday, it can’t possibly have gotten this lost since then.” Alex - unsurprisingly - doesn’t reply, just shoots Kurt a _look_ that keeps him silent.

They miss the subway due to Alex’s misplaced card. Instead of spending fifteen minutes on the platform in awkward silence, Kurt takes up his iPod and walks away, turning the volume up high enough to filter out the sounds of his co-travelers.

He doesn’t unplug until they enter the right corridor. The professor is already there and almost all of their classmates have filtered in except for Kendra, who’s standing with a Starbucks paper cup in hand, looking impatient.

“Hey, Kurt. Your guy was here, he wanted to give you this. You literally _just_ missed him,” she says and hands him the coffee with an apologetic smile. “And I checked, it _is_ coffee,” she adds when Kurt eyes the cup suspiciously.

“ _Just_ missed him?” Alex asks. “What a _shame_.”

Kurt looks at the coffee cup. There’s a scribbled _hi_ on the side of the cup. He looks up at Alex.

“You didn’t lose your metrocard, did you?” he says.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Alex replies.

Kurt can’t help but smile at him. “Thank you,” he says, hoping his voice conveys his gratefulness. He turns on his heels. He needs to call Sebastian.

“I’ll skip today!” he calls over his shoulder.

“Never would’ve guessed!” Alex replies dryly, then shuts the door to the lecture hall.

Kurt reaches into his pocket for his phone and shoulders the door to the stairwells open, his other hand being occupied by the coffee. He doesn’t look up from his phone, which is why he inevitably collides with...Sebastian. The force of the impact makes the already loose plastic lid slide off completely.

“Holy _shit_ , ow, _fuck_ ,” Sebastian swears and backs away, pinching his dress shirt and trying to keep it away from his chest. Kurt stares at him. Sebastian glares back.

“That was perfectly good coffee. You could’ve just ignored my calls, I would’ve gotten the message quite nicely without you scalding me,” Sebastian snarls.

“I’m sorry!” Kurt almost shouts, recovering from the shock. “I’m sorry, I’m- sorry. God. This was not on purpose, I promise. And I’m sorry for yesterday.” Kurt pockets his phone again and glances at Sebastian. “It was out of line.”

“Yeah,” is all Sebastian says. Kurt shifts his footing. They stare at each other for a while before Sebastian gestures down to his soiled shirt. “I need to change. Want to come?”

Kurt figures that he won’t get any closer to an apology from Sebastian than that scribbled _hi_ , that first step. If he’s honest, he probably doesn’t deserve one, either. He gives Sebastian a small smile.

“Yes,” he says. He reaches out a tentative hand and Sebastian grabs it, tangling their fingers together.

They will be fine, for now. Kurt tries to ignore the nagging voice in his head that tells him that it won’t last much longer. Not even Sebastian will be satisfied with a one-sided relationship forever. Blaine certainly wasn’t. Kurt swallows hard when he thinks of his ex. Will Sebastian do as him and try to stay, or will he just dump Kurt then and there?

Kurt loses himself in his thoughts and lets Sebastian lead the way. Neither of them are particularly keen on talking right now, they don’t really know what to say. Kurt doesn’t mind. It’s not an awkward silence.

Sebastian lets go of his hand when they reach his dorm. Kurt sits down cross legged on the bed and watches Sebastian walk around the room with his shirt unbuttoned. Sebastian’s gaze flutters over to Kurt several times and Kurt should probably look away, but seriously. He never gets to see Sebastian without a shirt, of course he’s going to drink in the sight when he has a chance.

“It doesn’t bother me,” Kurt says at last, when it becomes clear that Sebastian is waiting for him to focus on something else before he removes the shirt. Sebastian’s eyes snap up to look at him. Kurt doesn’t budge. “I’ve already seen them. It doesn’t bother me,” he repeats, because it’s true, they don’t. They’re scars. Not wanting them to be there will not make them go away, and Kurt has had time to get used to the thought of them. He saw them _before_ they slept with each other, though, so he doesn’t push more, now.

Sebastian’s eyes flicker to the desk again and he walks over to get a wrinkled paper.

“Here,” he says and hands it to Kurt. It’s a pretty transparent evasive attempt, but Kurt grabs the paper and reads it through.

It’s test results from an STD check-up.

“Told you I was all clean,” Sebastian says, voice a bit muffled from where his face is covered by a shirt. His head pops out and he smirks at Kurt, the tension from before all gone now. “So now I guess you’ll have to blow me,” he says, trying to sound apologetic.

“Oh, woe me,” Kurt deadpans, trying to ignore the surge of heat in his stomach. _Finally_. He stands up and crosses the floor until he’s standing in front of Sebastian.

“You want to stand up or sit down?” he asks.

Sebastian frowns at him. “What, you’re serious?” he asks. Well, this is awkward.

“Uh, yeah?” Kurt says. “You thought I wasn’t?”

Sebastian shrugs. “I thought the testing was just your way to get out of it.”

Kurt is staring at him now. “And you were okay with that?”

Sebastian meets his gaze. “I don’t get off on forcing someone to do something they don’t like,” he says sharply. There’s a little bit of yesterday in that comment, Kurt knows. He gives Sebastian a half-smile and grabs his hand.

“Good. Me neither. But I really do want this.” He leans in to nibble on Sebastian’s earlobe. “Think of this as my apology,” he whispers, his warm breath making Sebastian shudder.

Sebastian quickly sheds his pants after that, and they end up on the bed with Sebastian leaning against the wall and Kurt kneeling on the mattress between his legs.

It’s been a while, but Kurt has missed this, too. Sebastian’s cock is half-hard in his boxers, and the way he gasps when Kurt leans down to mouth at him through the fabric reminds Kurt that it’s actually been a while for Sebastian, too. Sure, Kurt has jerked Sebastian off, but even if Kurt doesn’t have a cock, he still realizes that it’s a pretty big difference between getting a handjob and a blowjob.

And since Kurt is competitive, he’s going to make sure that this is a damn good blowjob.

“Are you gonna do a shitload of teasing?” Sebastian asks, kind of breathlessly from above Kurt.

Kurt glances up at him, trails his fingers over the hardness. “Yeah,” he smirks and sucks on the head of Sebastian’s cock through the cotton.

“Thought so,” Sebastian groans and lets his head fall back against the wall. Kurt continues his work to make the fabric wet, and _god_ has he missed this. It’s not something he would ever say out loud, but Kurt really loves sex. He loves it even though it’s one-sided, even though he’s currently ignoring the heat in his abdomen, and this is his favorite part. He and Blaine had gone so far as fingering, but this was still Kurt’s favorite thing. The fact that he’s making Sebastian come undone with just his mouth... it turns him on.

That’s also the only downside with it. Blowing someone is a constant battle between arousal and humiliation for Kurt, because he’s so painfully reminded of what an abnormality he is and that no one will ever want to have sex with him.

He still likes giving head, though, so he tries his best. He quickly pulls off Sebastian’s underwear and takes him in his mouth. Sebastian is bigger than Blaine and Kurt can’t take him all the way. He compromises by gripping around the base and using every trick he’s learned so far on how to get Sebastian off with his hands. Judging by Sebastian’s moans and the way he clutches Kurt’s hair, he’s doing a pretty good job.

It’s a little bit awkward with the way Kurt is still fully dressed and Sebastian only has his pants off, but they’ve both been waiting for this long enough that it doesn’t really matter.

“Fuck, _Kurt_ ,” Sebastian gasps when Kurt curves his tongue at the tip. Sebastian is pretty vocal during sex, and Kurt _loves_ that. He loves the proof that he’s doing something right. For all that Sebastian keeps insulting him and jeering outside the bedroom, he definitely doesn’t hold back on the compliments once they’re in bed. “Nngh, _yes_ , there,” he moans when Kurt swallows around him while simultaneously bringing one of his hands down to stroke at his perineum and then ghost lightly over his hole. Kurt hasn’t been sure of Sebastian’s opinion of bottoming, and since Kurt can’t exactly _fuck_ him, he hasn’t explored the subject. This seems like a pretty promising reaction, though, and Kurt makes a mental note of it. It might be useful.

It doesn’t take that long for Sebastian to come, what with anticipation, with how long it’s been, and Kurt’s - admittedly - pretty skilled mouth.

“Come on, Kurt, I need, just, _fuck_ ,” Sebastian pants and tightens his grip in Kurt’s hair. Kurt sucks harder, fondles his balls, and when he grazes the vein near the base with his thumbnail, Sebastian chokes out a short _Kurt_ before he comes down Kurt’s throat. Kurt swallows and doesn’t let up until Sebastian is finished, yanking weakly at Kurt’s hair to get him away from his sensitive cock.

Kurt turns around to locate Sebastian’s discarded boxers, but Sebastian grabs his wrist and pulls him up towards him.

“Mngh, come here,” he mumbles. Kurt obeys and Sebastian reaches up to grab his neck and drag him down for a kiss. Kurt can’t help the moan that escapes from him when Sebastian starts licking his own taste out of Kurt’s mouth because holy shit that should not be such a turn-on. Kurt can feel himself getting wet in his pants and he breathes in harshly through his nose to prevent himself from crying. He pulls away from Sebastian and stares into the wall as he tries to collect himself. Sebastian seems to still be pretty out of it, and doesn’t notice, or at least he doesn’t comment, and Kurt is thankful for that. He has enough on his mind trying to battle the overwhelming arousal with humiliation, without having to try and explain it all to Sebastian.

When Kurt has his emotions somewhat under control again, he turns back to Sebastian. He’s still half-dressed, shirt rucked up on his stomach and his now soft cock glistening with come and saliva. He looks obscene, and Kurt has to look away to prevent another surge of heat in his stomach. He focuses on Sebastian’s face instead, on how Sebastian is looking at him underneath heavy eyelids and half-smiling, half-smirking at him.

“Apology accepted,” he says, and Kurt huffs out a laugh. He lies down beside Sebastian, wraps an arm around his waist, careful not to get any smears on his shirt, and pulls him close.

“I think I’ll have to make Alex cupcakes,” Kurt says into Sebastian’s neck, feeling the answering hum against his lips.

“He called me last night,” Sebastian says. “Said I probably had to take the first step, because, and I quote, don’t hit me, ‘Kurt is a stubborn bitch, and if you ever want to talk to him again, you’ll have to do something about it. Because he sure as hell won’t,’ and, well, I’ve seen your bitch mode, so.”

Kurt bumps his knee into Sebastian’s thigh lightly and sticks his tongue out at him. “I am sorry,” he says again.

Sebastian shrugs. “I know. Just... don’t bring it up again. I’m not...,” Sebastian sighs and averts his eyes from Kurt’s and stares up at the ceiling. “I’m not exactly proud of it. I...,” he turns his head so he’s facing away from Kurt, and Kurt almost misses it when he says “I almost had a fallback, then.”

When Kurt grasps the meaning of that he almost unconsciously tightens his grip around Sebastian’s waist. He can’t help but look down at Sebastian’s arms, even though they’re still covered by the shirt sleeves. He still has no idea what to say in response to this, and he can’t exactly use food as comfort right now. He reaches out and brushes his thumb lightly against one of Sebastian’s wrists through the fabric.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” he says quietly, tentatively. Sebastian turns again and gives him a half-smile.

“Yeah.” He tugs the covers up around them, even though Kurt is still fully clothed, and puts his arm around Kurt. “So, is there any way I can persuade you to make cupcakes with peanut butter and chocolate?”


	9. Chapter 8

“What are we?” Kurt asks a few days later when they’re laying sprawled on the couch. Alex is off to DC for a four-day weekend with his parents and Kurt and Sebastian have just zapped themselves into a High School Musical marathon. Sebastian tears his eyes from where Troy and Gabriella are dancing on a golf course to look at him.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

Kurt shrugs. “Just...are we- boyfriends?” He desperately avoids Sebastian’s gaze. He knows he’s being childish and stupid, but there’s a new text from Blaine burning in his phone, and Kurt needs to _know_.

“I...guess?” Sebastian says. He sounds more confused than mocking, so Kurt dares a look at him. He’s frowning. “Why does it matter?”

Kurt sighs. “It’s-- Blaine, he keeps texting me.” Sebastian sits up a little straighter at that.

“What? What does he say?”

“Nothing, it’s...nothing. Just that he misses me.”

“Can I see?” Sebastian asks.

“What?”

“The texts, can I see them?” Sebastian clarifies, reaching out a hand. Kurt fishes his phone out of his pocket and scrolls through to Blaine’s texts, then hands it over.

Sebastian reads in silence. “You haven’t replied,” he says.

“No, I...don’t know if he would listen. He can be pretty...stubborn,” Kurt says. Sebastian raises an eyebrow but doesn’t comment on that.

“And what does that have to do with us?” he asks instead. He hands Kurt’s phone back.

Kurt shrugs again. “It doesn’t, really. I just think he’d be more prone to stopping if I could say I have a new boyfriend.”

“Okay,” Sebastian says. “Tell him, then.”

Kurt looks at him. As far as he knows, this is Sebastian’s first relationship. It ought to be a pretty big deal.

“Are you sure?” he asks. “Because I don’t have to, I can--”

“Tell him we’re boyfriends, Kurt,” Sebastian interrupts, eyes on the TV again. “I’m not--I like you. Tell him.”

Kurt is staring now. “Does this movie have some kind of superpower to make you say stuff like that?” he asks. Sebastian shoots him a glare and kicks him.

“Shut up,” he mutters and crosses his arms in front of him defensively. Kurt smiles and shuffles on the couch until he’s sitting next to Sebastian, leaning against his shoulder.

“I like you, too,” he says. Sebastian pokes him in the side.

* * *

“Why did you break up?” Sebastian asks later. They still haven’t changed the channel, and now Troy and Gabriella are duetting on a roof.

Kurt is silent. They’ve been boyfriends for... what, two hours? He should’ve told Sebastian a long time ago.

“We had...sexual differences,” he says at last.

“What?” Sebastian turns to look at him. “He’s gay, isn’t he?”

Kurt laughs, humorlessly. “Oh, he’s gay alright. That was kind of the problem.”

Sebastian frowns. “So... what? Just because you wouldn’t stick your dick in his ass he dumped you?”

Kurt takes a deep breath. “I don’t _have_ a dick,” he says, eyes glued to the TV.

“Sure you do,” Sebastian says, and there’s a hesitant smile in his voice, like he knows he’s being tricked, but can’t figure out how. “Kurt, I’ve felt it. Maybe it’s not _big_ , but--”

“It’s fake,” Kurt interrupts. “It’s...fake. It’s called a packer.” His voice is getting thick and his eyes are burning.

“Kurt, look at me,” Sebastian says. He sounds worried, so Kurt does. “What are you saying? That you’re...are you a girl?”

Kurt shakes his head and draws in a shaky breath. “No,” he says. “I’m male. I just have a...vagina.” He blinks, and the tears begin to fall. “It’s not...five to seven percent of all males are born like this. There’s not reproduction organs and everything else in my body is physically male, except for--genitals. I can’t get pregnant, but I don’t have any testicles, so I can’t _make_ anyone pregnant, either.” Kurt knows he’s sounding like the Wikipedia article he knows by heart. He should probably stop talking, but he needs Sebastian to know.

“There’s...a lot of the people born this way get on hormonal treatment to become women, because it makes things easier. You’d just be a sterile woman, not a man with a vagina. But my parents didn’t want to make that choice for me and I’ve always identified as male. No matter how...girly everyone else thinks I am.” Kurt wipes his eyes and sniffs. “It’s not--I really, really wish sometimes that I’d identified as female, because it would’ve made my life _so_ much easier, but I don’t. I’m a guy, and I’m gay, and I can never have sex because as my ex so beautifully put it - I’m not normal.”

Kurt shoots a look at Sebastian, who’s staring back at him.

“I...who knows?” he asks.

“You,” Kurt says, still crying. “Blaine. My dad, Carole. My boss, because of insurance.”

“Is he okay with that?” Sebastian asks.

“He’s a friend of my dad’s,” Kurt replies, and it’s not really an answer to the question, but Sebastian accepts it.

“I have to go,” Sebastian says then and stands up abruptly. He doesn’t offer an explanation, doesn’t even look back. Kurt waits until the front door shuts before he breaks down completely.

* * *

Kurt is awoken by someone knocking on the front door. There are infomercials playing on the TV and he squints down at his watch. Fuck his eyes hurt. It’s 3.15 am.

“Kurt!”

And Sebastian is knocking at his door. Kurt really doesn’t want to see him now, but his neighbors will wake up soon if Sebastian doesn’t stop. Kurt would rather deal with Sebastian than with them. He gets up, shuts the TV off and stumbles through the living room while wiping his sticky face with his shirt sleeve.

“What do you want?” he asks as he opens the door. Sebastian blinks. He’s dressed in his coat and his cheeks are rosy, his hair wet and clinging to his face.

“ _Finally_ ,” he breathes out. He takes in Kurt’s appearance. “You look like shit,” he observes. Kurt rolls his eyes and moves to shut the door again, but Sebastian slips in before he has the chance. “Is that mine?” Sebastian asks and nods to Kurt. Kurt looks down. He’s wearing Sebastian’s NYU hoodie. It’s one size too big on him and the sleeves are covering his knuckles, but it was thrown over the couch and it smells like Sebastian.

“What do you want?” Kurt asks back, not answering Sebastian’s question since the answer is pretty obvious.

“Kurt, I’m sorry,” Sebastian says, reaching out to touch Kurt, but dropping his hand halfway there. Kurt crosses his arms in front of him, glaring expectantly at Sebastian, waiting for an explanation.

“I freaked, okay?” Sebastian says. “I’m not- I’ve never heard of it before. I didn’t--it’s a pretty big deal.”

“So, now what?” Kurt inquires. “Why are you here? How did you even get here?”

“I walked.”

“You- it’s a twenty minute subway ride, Sebastian.”

“Yeah, I’m aware. And it’s snowing. I’m soaked, actually.”

Kurt looks at him again. He _is_ soaked. Kurt feels a twinge of sympathy, but he ignores it.

“For what? Tell me to my face that this was a mistake, and that it’ll never work?”

“ _No_ ,” Sebastian says patiently. “Can I at least come in?” he asks. Kurt shrugs, he doesn’t have the energy to argue. Sebastian takes that as a yes and sheds his coat as he toes off his boots. His socks are dripping wet so he takes them off, too, leaving him barefoot in damp pants and a shirt that’s darker at the collar and the end of his sleeves.

Kurt turns and walks into the living room again, sitting down at the couch and curling up on himself. Sebastian follows and tentatively sits down on the other end.

“I looked it up when I got home. The--” he gestures towards Kurt. “I even looked up some porn. Didn’t do shit for me.”

Kurt feels his eyes starting to tear up again. He untangles himself and is just about to stand up when Sebastian leans over and grabs his arm.

“Hear me out, okay? I looked up porn, and it didn’t do shit, so I went to bed. Then I thought of _you_ and I got so hard I jerked off like twice in fifteen minutes.”

Kurt’s head snaps up at that and he eyes Sebastian suspiciously.

“Right,” he says sarcastically. “Sure. If you’re done mocking me now, could you please leave?”

Sebastian lets out an exasperated sigh and throws his hands up in confusion. “What do you want me to say, Kurt? _I like you_. And I--you said it back. No, this wasn’t what I expected, but-” Sebastian cuts off, takes a breath, searches for the right words. “It doesn’t bother me,” he says at last, choosing Kurt’s words from a few days ago. “It doesn’t--screw that. It _turns me on_.” He’s looking at Kurt with an almost pleading expression now.

“Are you serious?” Kurt asks. He really doesn’t believe Sebastian.

“ _Yes_ ,” Sebastian says, trying to put as much emotion in the word as possible. “Kurt, I know you think you know me. Do you honestly believe that I’d still be here if I didn’t want to? Want you? It’s three thirty on a Friday night, I could be fucking _anyone_ right now.” Sebastian slumps back on the couch and drags a hand through his wet hair.

“Look,” he says. “If you don’t want me here, I’ll leave. But I _want_ to be here.”

* * *

Sebastian is shivering, and it’s not just from his cold, wet clothes. He has never laid himself this bare in front of another person before. He’s not-- he doesn’t do this. Confessions. Persuasions. Feelings. And yet here he is, trying to convince Kurt that he actually wants him, wants a _them_. Despite Kurt’s...condition. Sebastian would never in a million years have thought that he could be aroused by anything but a dick, but leave it to Kurt Hummel to prove him wrong. Sebastian is--he likes Kurt. Like, really, really likes him, on a level that’s completely new and scary and, quite honestly, intimidating. It’s taken him a while to get used to the thought, but damn if he’s going to give up on it now just because Kurt thinks Sebastian doesn’t want him.

Kurt is looking at him, wide-eyed, and he really does look like shit. Sure, Sebastian can’t deny the kick he gets out of seeing Kurt in his own hoodie, but Kurt’s eyes are red-rimmed and bloodshot from crying, his hair is messed up from sleeping and generally he just looks exhausted.

Sebastian reaches out to rest his fingers gently on Kurt’s shoulder.

“Hey, look, we could talk about this tomorrow if you want to? Or, like, later today, whatever. I could...sleep on the couch, if you want.” Sebastian doesn’t want that, but he doesn’t want to sleep with an uncomfortable Kurt either. Though now that he thinks about it, Kurt has probably been uncomfortable every time. “Or I could just go home,” he says when Kurt doesn’t reply.

“I’m not letting you walk home at this time,” Kurt says at that. “Not in this weather.”

“I walked here,” Sebastian points out. “In this weather.”

“Yeah, but I couldn’t really stop you from doing that.”

“It’s not as if--fine. I won’t go,” Sebastian says when he meets Kurt’s eyes halfway through the sentence. Kurt looks away again.

“Let’s...let’s go to bed,” Kurt sighs finally and stands up.

“Are you sure?” Sebastian asks, not daring to stand up yet. Kurt gives him a wry smile.

“Shouldn’t I be asking you that? You’re the one going to bed with a freak,” he says. Sebastian does stand up at that, wincing at the way his damp pants are clinging to his legs.

“Kurt, did...did Blaine call you a freak?” Sebastian asks cautiously. He needs to know this. he needs to know just how hard he should kick Blaine in the ass. Sebastian knows that if his had been a year ago, he would’ve been first in line to call Kurt all sorts of things, where ‘freak’ would’ve been one of the mild ones. He knows this, and he knows that Kurt knows, and he can’t really meets Kurt’s eyes.

“No, he didn’t,” Kurt says. Sebastian lets out a sigh of relief. “But he...he did say that it wasn’t normal, and that I had to understand him. And he didn’t want me to sleep without pants.”

Sebastian wants to hug him, but he’s not sure he’s allowed.

“Come on, let’s...we’ll talk about this tomorrow,” he says instead and steers to the bedroom.

He’s already removed his pants when Kurt enters the room, hesitantly shutting the door behind himself. Kurt unzips the hoodie and shrugs it off, then he pulls the t-shirt over his head.

Sebastian can’t stop himself from looking him over, taking him in. His eyes dart down to Kurt’s crotch. Now that he knows what’s there, and what’s not, he can’t stop himself from staring. There’s a faint hint of a bulge, big enough to be there, but small enough not to draw any attention. Sebastian suddenly has a mad desire to see _all_ of Kurt. He has barely seen him without pants, and obviously that has an explanation now, but he wants it all.

“Are you-- could you--” Sebastian falters and drags a hand over his face. “You could take off your pants. If you want to. _I_ want you to,” he says. Kurt frowns at him as if he doesn’t really believe him. “Not--we don’t have to have sex. I just...want to see you.” Kurt still doesn’t look like he believes him, so Sebastian sighs and grabs the hem of his shirt, pulls it up over his head. He’s standing in the middle of Kurt’s room, dressed in only his boxers. He crosses his arms over his chest and shuffles awkwardly on the floor. It’s been a long time since he’s felt this vulnerable, and he hopes Kurt realizes that. Kurt sweeps his gaze over Sebastian’s body and his frown softens a bit.

“Yeah, okay,” he says. I’ll just--” he points to the door and walks out before Sebastian can comment. He glances around in the room and his eyes fall on Kurt’s computer. Sebastian smiles. He’s got an idea.

When Kurt comes back, he’s only wearing his underwear. Sebastian is sitting on the bed and he stares shamelessly. Kurt glances at him nervously before he realizes that the computer screen is lit.

“What did you--” he starts and bends over the desk chair to check it, but falters when he sees that he’s got a new notification. Sebastian tries to keep the pleased smile off of his face when Kurt raises his eyebrows.

Kurt looks over at him. “Are you serious?” he asks.

Sebastian nods. “I told you.”

Kurt clicks on something, then he shuts the computer and goes over to the bed.

“Get in,” he says, motioning for Sebastian to move. He does; he lies down under the covers and holds them up for Kurt to get in. He doesn’t dare embrace him though, not until Kurt scoots closer and tangles his legs with Sebastian’s.

“So, are we Facebook official now?” he smirks into Kurt’s hair, stroking his thumb across Kurt’s cheek. He feels Kurt’s smile.

“Yeah.”

* * *

_**Kurt Hummel** is in a relationship with **Sebastian Smythe**_  
 **3 people** like this  
 **Tina Cohen-Chang:** Seriously...?  
 **Rachel Berry:** omg kurt i can’t believe you’d hide something like this from me do you not value our friendship???

(Sat 9 Feb 7.05 am)  
 **Santana:** _Hummel I said fuck not woo_

(Sat 9 Feb 8.34 am)  
 **Mercedes:** _Kurt are you serious?_

(Sat 9 Feb 9.12 am)  
 **Blaine:** _Is it true? Are you really dating sebastian?_

(9.14 am)  
 **Blaine:** _Seriously? Is this some kind of joke?_

(9.23 am)  
Blaine: _It was posted ad 3.43. Were you drunk?_

Sebastian wakes up by the insistent buzzing of Kurt’s phone on the desk. He tries to move, but can’t, and realizes that Kurt’s head is on his shoulder. Sebastian starts flexing his hand, wincing when the blood starts flowing, then tangling his fingers in Kurt’s hair. Kurt has never slept this close, and he has never been this relaxed.

The proximity to another body is already doing things to Sebastian’s morning hard-on, and when his brain catches up with what happened and last night and he realizes just what is lying next to him, he gets almost painfully hard in just a few seconds.

He barely keeps himself from groaning, but then Kurt starts moving beside him and his eyelashes flutter against Sebastian’s collar bone so maybe release isn’t so far away.

“Hi,” Kurt says, voice rough from sleep and probably still a bit sore from the crying. He swallows and blinks, and Sebastian can almost see the thought process in his mind.

“Hi,” Sebastian replies with a soft smile.

“Hi,” Kurt says and blinks again. He shifts, and his knee bumps against Sebastian’s erection. Kurt blushes, even though he’s woken up with Sebastian’s cock pressing into his back a dozen times.

“You want to talk?” Sebastian asks. “Because if you don’t, there’s a few other things I thought we could try.”

Kurt blushes even harder at that and buries his face in Sebastian’s chest.

“Did you seriously just say that?” he says, voice muffled by skin.

“I’m a man of many talents.”

“God, just _stop_ ,” Kurt moans, but he mostly sounds amused.

“Seriously, though,” Sebastian says, trying to get back to the matter at hand. “You want to talk?” Sebastian will talk if that’s what Kurt wants, but honestly, he’s horny and mostly just wants to have sex. Preferably _with_ Kurt, this time. His cock twitches at the thought, and Kurt, who still has his knee pressed against it, snorts. He sobers quickly.

“I don’t--I’ve never...” he trails off.

“Had sex?” Sebastian asks to clarify. Seriously, they need to be able to talk about this, with words. Kurt nods.

“Yeah. But not just--I’ve never,” he swallows, sighs. “I’ve never touched myself.”

Okay, _that_ comes as a bit of a surprise for Sebastian.

“Ever?” he asks. How is that even possible? Kurt shakes his head.

“Or, I--tried. A bit. Just when I’d met Blaine. But it didn’t really...and then he...” Kurt trails off again, but Sebastian gets the picture.

“But you _do_ get aroused, right? When we have sex?” Sebastian asks.

Kurt looks up at that. “We haven’t--” he starts, but Sebastian interrupts him.

“Trust me, babe, we’ve been having sex.” Sebastian runs a hand down across Kurt’s back. Kurt tenses, but not as much as he’s done before. He rests his hand on the waistband of Kurt’s underwear.

“Can I touch you?” he asks. He really, really wants to. Kurt hesitates. Sebastian moves his fingers further down, trailing them lightly over Kurt’s ass cheek. “Please?” he says. “I promise I’ll stop if you tell me to.”

Kurt gives a hesitant nod. “Okay,” he breathes out against Sebastian’s skin. Sebastian uses his other hand to yank lightly at Kurt’s hair and bring their mouths together. He nudges Kurt’s shoulder and pulls at his hip until he’s laying on top of Sebastian, straddling him. Their bare chest are pressed together and _fuck_ , it’s been too long since Sebastian was this naked with someone, since he was this _close_ to someone. He can’t help but moan and push his hips upwards, rubbing his cock against Kurt’s heat through their underwear. He tries not to let out a pleased smile when Kurt whimpers at the friction.

Sebastian slides his hands in under the waistband of Kurt's boxer-briefs and _bare warm skin under his fingers fuck yes_. This is going to be over embarrassingly fast, at least for Sebastian, but he can take it. This time. He strokes Kurt's ass, checking for any tension or hesitation, but there is none.

"Can I?" Sebastian asks anyway, barely getting the words out against Kurt's lips. He slides a finger down Kurt's crack to emphasize his point. Kurt gasps but nods, and Sebastian's cock is so fucking hard. He trails his fingers even lower and it's _soft_ and _wet_ and Sebastian's underwear are also wet because he's leaking profusely. Sebastian moans into Kurt's mouth at the sensation and grabs his thighs to bring him impossibly closer. His cock slides against Kurt's _pussy_ and holy fuck Sebastian almost tears up at the frustration and arousal. He wants to make this slow and good for Kurt, wants to make it perfect and not screw it up, but he also wants to do everything at once, right now. They won't go further than this, not right now, Sebastian won't possibly be able to, but _god_ does he want to. He doesn't know anything about how to pleasure someone this way, he's always been gay and he's shied away from straight porn if he could help it, and he doesn't even know if it would've been of any help now. And then he really can't think, because Kurt is thrusting down and the pressure and friction is just--

"Fuck do that again," Sebastian breathes out and presses Kurt down again to help him. Kurt obliges and Sebastian moves his hands again, sliding his fingers gently along Kurt's folds. It's good, but he can't really reach, so he takes one hand and reaches around, sliding it down between them and into Kurt's underwear again. It's an awkward angle and it's tight, but he can touch _so much more_ like this. His fingers are quickly coated in fluid. The back of his hand is pressing against his cock and when the thought of _tasting_ flies through his mind he can feel a new rush of pre-come leak out and dampen the fabric even further. Kurt is resting his forehead against Sebastian's shoulder, his breath coming in short, wet huffs, and if Sebastian wasn't so ridiculously turned on, he'd be laughing at how they're nineteen years old and rubbing it off in their fucking underwear. Kurt doesn't seem to have any complaints, though, and Sebastian sure as hell doesn't.

He rubs against something that has to be Kurt's clit, because he makes a high keening noise and jerks his hips down, trying to get more. Sebastian very happily gives it to him, rubbing faster and a little bit harder. It won't take much more to get himself off, he's close, and he's trying to bring Kurt there, too, even though he doesn't have a clue what he's doing. He brings up the hand not currently pressed between their bodies to Kurt's neck and tangles his fingers in the hair there, pulling slightly. Kurt moans and leans into the touch and Sebastian feels a rush of fluid against his fingers and _holy shit_ that is really hot.

"Feels good?" he murmurs, because he can't help himself. Kurt nods fervently.

"Mhm. Just--can you- a little bit--" Sebastian moves his hand, brushes his fingertips against Kurt's entrance, " _yes_ , oh my god, there, please," Kurt pants. It's slick and warm and Sebastian is going to come any second now and he won't even be embarrassed. The tip of his middle finger catches on Kurt's entrance just as Kurt pushes down, causing the finger to slide in even further. Kurt moans, loud, straight into Sebastian's ear, and there's a gush of warm juices, flowing out over Sebastian's fingers and seeping through both of their underwear. Kurt is thrusting erratically and he just keeps getting wetter and Sebastian realizes that he's _coming_. He just made Kurt come and it's wet and warm and Sebastian arches up one more time, pressing the back of his hand against his cock and then he's coming, too.

For a few minutes, the only sound is their heavy breathing when they're trying to catch their breaths. Sebastian has released his grip on Kurt's hair but he's still stroking his neck. Kurt is trailing his fingers lightly across Sebastian's arm, tracing invisible patterns on his skin.

"Was that -- okay?" Sebastian asks after a while. Kurt snorts.

"You just gave me my first orgasm. Yeah, it was pretty _okay_ ," he says. Sebastian smiles, pleased, and kisses him.

"So, can we do that again?" he asks.

"Yes," Kurt replies, without hesitation.

"Good."

They fall silent again, stealing a few kisses, but mostly just laying together. The sweat on their bodies is starting to cool, but Sebastian just holds Kurt closer. He doesn't want to get up just yet.

"I think your friends are going mad, by the way," he says.

"Hm?" Kurt hums, without looking up.

"Your phone buzzed earlier. I guess they're freaking out."

Kurt starts to move, but Sebastian tightens his grip on his waist.

"No. Not yet," he says. Kurt looks up at him then, gives him a sleepy smile and kisses the corner of his mouth.

"Okay," he says and lays his head down again. Sebastian's breathing is even and calm, and within a few minutes, they're both sleeping again.


	10. Chapter 9

Kurt has to work on Valentine’s day. Given his previous experiences with Valentine's days, he’s not particularly sad about this. He doesn’t take Sebastian for the kind of guy who does Valentine’s, either, so it’s probably for the best. He’s still going over to Sebastian’s when he gets off, though, because apparently Kurt moans quite a bit when he has sex, and ‘single dorm’ makes for a lot less awkward encounters than ‘shared apartment’.

Sex is _amazing_. Kurt has no idea how he’s managed to survive until now without orgasms, because _hello_. It’s only been what, like, five days, and they haven’t even gone further than fingers, but Kurt is pretty certain that he’s addicted. And he wants to do _everything_. Someday. With Sebastian.

When there’s five minutes left of his shift, Kurt’s boss calls him up to the front desk.

“Hummel! You have a visitor!”

Kurt nearly bangs his head on the hood when he straightens in surprise. He wipes his hands and walks out, his eyes widening in surprise when he sees who’s there.

“Hi,” he says, admittedly a bit confused. Sebastian smiles.

“Hi. Is-- is this okay?” he asks, glancing between Kurt and Kurt’s boss. Kurt also dares a look at his boss. He’s smiling.

“You done with that oil change?” he asks. Kurt nods. “Go on, then.”

Kurt shoots him a grateful smile.

“I’m just gonna change,” he says to Sebastian and walks into the changing room. Kurt never showers at work, no matter how grimy he is, but he washes his face to get rid of the worst of the dirt before he rejoins Sebastian at the front desk.

“I’m ready,” he says, then says “See you on Saturday,” to his boss. Then he and Sebastian step out onto the street.

It’s freezing outside. Kurt huddles closer to Sebastian almost unconsciously. He’s surprised when Sebastian slides an arm around his waist and pulls him even closer, but he revels in the PDA and doesn’t complain.

“So, to what do I owe this pleasure?” Kurt asks when they’ve walked two blocks, Sebastian making it wordlessly clear that they’re walking home, despite the cold. He leans into Sebastian to let him know that he’s not mad about the visit, but rather the opposite.

Sebastian shrugs. “I thought I’d surprise you.”

“I didn’t even know that you knew where I worked,” Kurt says.

“I might have called Alex,” Sebastian admits.

“And all of this just _happened_ to be on February 14th?” Kurt says, mockingly.

“Oh, it’s February 14th?” Sebastian says, mock-innocent. Kurt rolls his eyes.

“What’s for dinner?” he asks, trying to change the subject.

“I was thinking chinese. Your pick.”

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

Sebastian smirks. “I think I already have.”

Yeah. He has.

* * *

The restaurant is packed, mostly with couples, and Sebastian spends the time waiting in line by groping Kurt as subtly as he can. Kurt has trouble working out the balance between annoyed and aroused, so he ends up slamming Sebastian against the door as soon as they’re inside the dorm and kisses him hard.

“You’re such a fucking tease,” he almost growls into Sebastian’s mouth.

“Now you know how I feel most of the time,” Sebastian replies, moving his hands to settle on Kurt’s ass. “I had no idea that overalls could look hot outside of porn.”

Kurt snorts. “Was that a compliment or what?”

“ _Yes_.”

Kurt kisses him one more time, then he backs away. “I’m hungry,” he says.

“Mm, me too,” Sebastian replies and pulls him in again. Kurt rolls his eyes but lets himself be kissed one more time before taking a few steps back, standing out of reach.

“Food,” he says. “Then...other stuff.”

“‘Other stuff’?” Sebastian repeats, arching an eyebrow. Kurt blushes. He has a feeling he’ll have to get used to actually _talking_ about these kinds of things ( _sex_ ), if he wants this relationship (Kurt’s heart still does a flip a the word) with Sebastian to last. Heaven knows that _he’s_ not prude, by any means.

“Have sex,” Kurt amends, blushing even harder. Sebastian smiles.

“I like that plan.”

* * *

“I should shower,” Kurt sighs, pushing the food container away and leaning back on the bed. Sebastian abandons his own food and leans back, too.

“Can I join you?” he asks. Kurt looks at him judgingly.

“Your shower is barely big enough for one,” he says. Sebastian makes a face.

“True.” He reaches for his food again. “Why do you need to shower? It’s not like we’re going out or anything.”

“I’ve spent the day in a car shop. I’m dirty,” Kurt says, pushing himself up on his elbows. Sebastian looks at him and smirks.

“But baby, I like you dirty,” he says. Kurt fights the urge to slap him.

“Why do I allow you to talk?” he mutters and rolls his eyes as he pushes himself off of the bed and stands up. “Can I borrow a towel?”

“Yeah, sure. They’re in the closet. Top shelf,” Sebastian says and points with the hand holding the chopsticks.

“If you drop food on the bed, I’m going home,” Kurt warns him before he disappears into the bathroom.

* * *

Kurt only has the towel wrapped around his waist when he gets out. He walks around in the room collecting things he’s left over the weeks while Sebastian eyes him warily, chewing slowly.

“Did I do something to annoy you?” he asks finally. Kurt looks up at him, confused.

“No? Why?”

“You’re walking around like that.” Sebastian gestures vaguely at Kurt. “And you won’t even look at me,” he says. Kurt smiles.

“You want me to look at you?” he asks, crossing the floor until he’s standing in front of the bed, his knees touching Sebastian’s. “Do you have anything else you want me to do to you?”

Sebastian swallows and sets his hands on Kurt’s hips. “Kiss me,” he says. Kurt leans down to obey and Sebastian takes the opportunity to pull him down into his lap. Straddling is a bit hard due to the towel, so it rides up and only barely covers Kurt’s crotch. Not that Sebastian is complaining. He slides his hands up Kurt’s bare upper body and settles on his neck, pulling his head closer and kissing him more fiercely. Kurt moans into the kiss and thrusts involuntarily against Sebastian, hissing when the rough denim of Sebastian’s jeans rubs against the soft skin on Kurt’s inner thighs.

Sebastian doesn’t waste any time before flipping them over, so that Kurt is laying spread on the bed beneath him. He sits back on his heels and pulls his shirt over his head, smiling when he emerges and catches Kurt staring. He unbuttons his pants and gets off the bed to take them off, leaving him in only boxer-briefs. He tugs at Kurt’s towel, emitting a sharp inhale from him when his body is exposed.

Kurt puts his arm over his eyes and refuses to meet Sebastian’s gaze. They’ve been naked with each other before, not for long, but they _have_. Sebastian has never _seen_ him, though. He doesn’t look up, but he feels when Sebastian leans over him. His arm gets pried away from his face and Sebastian is really close when Kurt opens his eyes.

“Hi,” Sebastian smiles. Kurt smiles back, weakly. “You’re hot,” Sebastian continues. Kurt feels the blush spreading across his body, but his boyfriend doesn’t seem to care, he just leans into the last couple of inches and kisses him. Kurt couldn’t have turned away from those kisses if he tried, so he just accepts it and reaches up to put his arm around Sebastian’s neck and pull his body closer. The kisses grow heated really quickly and Kurt can feel himself growing wetter and wetter, while Sebastian’s erection is digging into his hip.

Sebastian pulls back, straining against Kurt’s grip on his shoulders, and leans on his elbows. He continues to place soft kisses on Kurt’s mouth, his jaw, around his lips. He trails his hand down Kurt’s side, gripping his waist and thumbing his hipbone.

“Can I go down on you?” he asks softly.

“I- what?” Kurt croaks, his voice hoarse and his eyes wider.

“Can I- go down on you?” Sebastian repeats, and now there’s a faint hint of a blush on his cheeks, too.

“You want to...you really want that?” Kurt asks, almost sitting up, because it’s something he didn’t even _dream_ about.

“Yeah,” Sebastian replies. “I--” He thrusts against Kurt’s hip. “I really want to.”

“Well, I’m not going to stop you,” Kurt says, a bit breathlessly, because he’s not _insane_. Sebastian smiles and kisses him again, hard, before starting his way down Kurt’s body. He goes slowly, stroking Kurt’s lower stomach and thighs, while kissing and licking his way down his chest. When he reaches the V of Kurt’s legs, he looks up. Kurt’s eyes are wide open and Sebastian tries to give him a reassuring smile.

“Relax, babe,” he says. “This won’t be fun at all if you’re this tense.”

* * *

Sebastian glances down where Kurt’s pussy is exposed between his legs, beneath Sebastian’s chin. The smell is already reaching his nose, making his mouth water. Sebastian likes sucking dick, but he has a feeling this will be something else completely. He slides his hand down, tracing Kurt’s folds with his fingertips, smiling at Kurt’s gasps and the way his fingers are coated quickly. He brings his fingers up to lick them, tasting Kurt for the first time and yeah, okay, this is not going to be a problem. He meets Kurt’s glance one last time before he leans down and drags his tongue over the wetness.

Kurt moans, loudly, and brings his hands down to tangle his fingers in Sebastian’s hair. Encouraged, Sebastian licks again, sliding his tongue deeper, tasting more. If he ever regretted following Kurt home that day in November, he most certainly doesn’t now.

“I-- you-- _fuck_ ,” Kurt groans above him, incomprehensibly. Sebastian smiles, using his fingers to part Kurt’s folds and reach him better, taste him even more. If he’d known licking pussy would be like this, he would’ve experimented with bisexuality years ago. He glances up at Kurt. But then again, he’s probably more Kurtsexual than he ever could’ve been bisexual. Besides, boobs. Ew.

Kurt yanks his hair impatiently and Sebastian snaps back to reality, the very real reality where he’s kneeling between Kurt’s spread legs, licking up his juices and trying not to rub himself against the mattress. He wants to fuck Kurt; he can’t wait to feel that slick, warm heat around his cock, but he won’t do it _yet_. Kurt would probably never let Sebastian touch him again if he tried to fuck him now, and Sebastian _really_ wants to keep touching Kurt. He makes up for the lack of fucking by licking over Kurt’s entrance, tracing his tongue along the rim and then slowly pushing in.

The smell and the taste are almost overwhelming, and Sebastian can’t help but moan. His cock twitches, and _what_ is it about Kurt that makes Sebastian really close to coming in his pants like a fucking fourteen year old?

This won’t take long, Kurt is extremely responsive and Sebastian is damn good with his mouth. He probes his tongue as deep as it can get, sliding his fingers in beside it and feels and tastes Kurt’s gushing juices at the stimulation. _He’s so wet_ , Sebastian would take the time to be amazed if he wasn’t busy enjoying it and feeling proud of being able to reduce Kurt to this whimpering, hot mess.

“Please,” Kurt moans above him. Sebastian isn’t sure exactly what he’s begging for, and he’s tempted to ask, because he wants to hear Kurt _say it_ , but he doesn’t think now is the time for that. He starts licking broader instead, making sure to cover every part of Kurt’s wet folds and down to his ass, up to his clit. Kurt’s whole body jerks when Sebastian sucks on that nub, so he does it again, letting his tongue join in on the fun too and curling the fingers still inside Kurt _just so_ , and that’s it. Kurt comes with a loud, broken moan, his hands grabbing Sebastian’s scalp almost painfully hard, pressing him even closer to his throbbing cunt. Sebastian licks him through it, slowing down when Kurt’s shivers do, and then finally abandoning the pussy with a final lick, before he kisses his way up Kurt’s body again.

“That okay?” he says with a teasing smirk, his voice low. Kurt glares at him and Sebastian is pretty sure that if he hadn’t just given him an excellent orgasm, Kurt would’ve hit him. He flashes a grin and leans down to press a kiss to Kurt’s cheek, not totally sure how Kurt feels about kissing right now, but Kurt beats him to it. He grabs Sebastian’s neck and pulls him down for a long, hard kiss, tasting himself and leaving Sebastian panting when they break away.

“You want help?” Kurt asks and glances down between them. Sebastian follows his gaze and realizes that he’s rutting against Kurt, his still-clothed cock rubbing against Kurt’s still-wet pussy and _fuck_ that’s hot. Sebastian shakes his head jerkily.

“I don’t, I’m--” He doesn’t bother trying to find the words, he just reaches down and pulls out his cock. It won’t take much, he’s already so goddamn close, just a few jerks and then _holy fuck_ he’s coming, shooting across Kurt’s pussy.

Judging by Kurt’s sharp gasp against Sebastian’s forehead, he thinks this is as hot as Sebastian does, and fuck if that doesn’t spur Sebastian on even more. He doesn’t waste any time when he’s done coming, he crawls down the bed again and settles between Kurt’s legs, leaning in to lick himself off of Kurt. It could potentially be a deal breaker, but Sebastian’s pretty sure it won’t be. When Kurt lets out an _oh my god_ and reaches down to press Sebastian’s face closer to where he’s starting to leak again, his suspicions are confirmed. Sebastian licks Kurt’s skin clean, then he drags his fingertips through the droplets caught in Kurt’s coarse pubic hair and slides them further down, rubbing his come in on the way until he reaches Kurt’s hole.

“Sebastian, please,” Kurt whimpers above him. Sebastian smiles, leaning in to drag his tongue in a broad stripe over Kurt’s pussy once.

“What, babe?” he asks, his breath ghosting over Kurt’s wet, sensitive skin, making him shiver.

“That,” Kurt tries, pushing Sebastian’s head down to get him to continue, but Sebastian resists.

“Tell me,” he says. Kurt yanks his hair and lets out a desperate whine, but then he takes a deep breath.

“Lick me,” he says. It’s silent, and Sebastian almost doesn’t catch it, but he does, and _shit_. If Sebastian hadn’t _just_ had a spectacular orgasm, he would’ve been rock hard again at that. As it is, his cock twitches weakly, but he still moans and dives in, happy to oblige to Kurt’s request.

Kurt’s legs come up to rest on Sebastian’s shoulders, his thighs framing him and trembling from arousal and excitement. Sebastian sucks on his clit, more purposefully this time, knowing a bit more how and what to do. He’s a fast learner, no one can tell him otherwise, and judging by the way Kurt clutches at Sebastian’s head with his thighs, he agrees.

Kurt is still moaning and murmuring, occasionally letting out a broken _please_. Sebastian wants to make him even more vocal, but he’s kind of busy with his tongue right now, so that’s a discussion he files away for later.

He slides his fingers into Kurt again, along with his tongue, earning him a particularly high whine. He curls his tongue upwards and scissors his fingers and Kurt gasps and sounds like he’s choking on his own breath, then there’s another rush of fluid against Sebastian’s lips. Kurt is coming, again. Sebastian keeps licking until he’s lapped up almost all of the fluid and Kurt’s thighs have loosened their grip on his head. Kurt moans weakly, but it’s not really out of pleasure now, and when he yanks Sebastian’s hair, he reluctantly gives up.

He crawls up, draping himself over Kurt, kissing him deeply.

“That was nice,” he says. Kurt glances at him through hooded eyelids.

“Mhm,” he agrees, raising a hand to cradle Sebastian’s head. “I need another shower,” he murmurs against Sebastian’s lips.

“This time I _am_ joining you,” Sebastian replies. Kurt pats him on the head.

“You can try.”

* * *

Kurt wakes up in the middle of the night. He doesn’t know why; he’s still tired and there’s no party in the hallway. He just woke up and he can’t fall back to sleep. Sebastian is asleep next to him, one arm thrown across his face and the other one lying along his side. The moonlight is streaming in through the half-closed curtains and Kurt assumes that he woke by the light. He likes his bedroom pitch black if he can have it. He should probably get up and close them so he can go back to sleep, but he likes having the opportunity to really look at Sebastian. He doesn’t get many chances when they’re awake, and Sebastian usually falls asleep after and wakes up before Kurt.

He takes in the sharp-turned-soft features of Sebastian’s face, runs his hand gently along the cheekbones, traces his lips with the pad of his thumb. He looks down, trailing his gaze over Sebastian’s body down to the edge of the comforter below his waist.

Kurt is really, really tired and he’s staring so deeply into nothing, almost drifting out of consciousness, that he doesn’t notice Sebastian waking up until he hears him talk.

“Kurt? Could you-- it tickles.”

Kurt snaps out of it and looks down where he’s absentmindedly tracing the veins of Sebastian’s left arm. He stops and withdraws his hand, but regrets it when Sebastian folds his arms on his chest in a vain attempt to hide them.

“Sorry,” Kurt says softly. “Just-- you have very prominent veins.”

Sebastian frowns at him but unfolds his arms and looks at them.

“ _That’s_ what you notice?” he asks, disbelieving. Kurt shrugs.

“You do,” he says, simply. He grabs Sebastian’s hand before he can fold it in on himself again. He lays down and tangles their fingers together, resting his head on Sebastian’s shoulder.

“Why?” Kurt asks, quietly. He doesn’t elaborate, and Sebastian’s sharp inhale tells him that he doesn’t need to.

Sebastian is quiet for a long time, and if it weren’t for his irregular breathing, Kurt would think that he’d gone back to sleep. When he talks, he focuses on the ceiling, avoiding Kurt.

“It was about control. My life was pretty messy during middle school, we moved a lot back and forth between France and Ohio. Then we moved here permanently, and I started high school; a public school. Everyone knew each other except for me. My mom, there’s--a lot of issues, between us. And they got really bad when we settled down. I didn’t have any friends at school, and home was just a collection of all of these bad things that I had no control over, whatsoever. I just kind of-- spiraled. Then in sophomore year my mom walked in on me while I was changing one time. I was not a pretty sight. They made me finish sophomore year, and then the first day of the summer holiday, they shipped me off to France.”

Sebastian takes a deep breath and rubs his free hand over his face. He still doesn’t look at Kurt.

“My aunt shaped me up, and then my dad had me at Dalton for senior year. You already know firsthand about my attitude problems, so. Yeah. That’s pretty much it.”

“Is that why you didn’t go home for Christmas?” Kurt asks. “Because of--”

“My mom, yeah,” Sebastian finishes for him. “And it’s not... It was not about _hurting_ myself, exactly. And it was never about suicide. I’m not-- it was a way to vent. Because everything sucked.”

Kurt doesn’t know what to say, so he settles with squeezing Sebastian’s hand.

“I won’t-- my life is better, now. I don’t... There was that one time, when I almost had a fallback, but nothing before and nothing since.” He goes silent.

“Okay,” Kurt says at last. He brings up his other hand to close around Sebastian’s wrist. _It’s okay. I trust you. I won’t hurt you. I’m sorry_. He kisses Sebastian’s jaw. “Okay.”

_I think I love you._

* * *

“Dad, hi!” Kurt says, flustered, glaring at Sebastian to make him back away. Sebastian does, slowly, but not too far away. He settles on the other end of the couch, his feet still tangled with Kurt’s, watching him interact with his dad on the phone.

They’re alone at Kurt’s apartment, and had taken advantage of that and were making out on the couch when Kurt’s phone went off. Sebastian had kissed him harder to make him ignore it, but apparently whoever has deserved a country song as a signal on Kurt’s phone is important enough for Kurt to push Sebastian away and pull his phone out of his pocket.

“Yeah, I... nothing. No. I was going to--” Kurt glances up at Sebastian and bites his lip. “How do you know about that?” he asks. “Fucking Finn,” he mutters after the reply. “Nothing! I was going to tell you, I promise, I just-- Dad--” He stays silent for a long time. “No, it’s... he’s good. He’s really, really good. I’m... yeah, I know what I said. I was wrong.” Another long pause. “Dad, I know what I’m doing... Well, I don’t _care_ what Finn says, because _I_ am the one who’s in this relationship.”

Sebastian is starting to feel a bit uneasy about listening in to the conversation now. Judging by their high school history, Kurt’s dad’s reaction makes sense, but that doesn’t mean Sebastian wants to hear about it.

“Yeah, okay, Dad, if you’re gonna do this, I’m hanging up. I can take care of myself. I-- okay then-- _fine_. Goodbye.” Kurt hangs up and throws the phone on the couch. He takes a deep breath before he looks at Sebastian. “Sorry about that,” he says. “My stupid-as-fuck step brother saw my facebook status and thought it was a good idea to tell his mom. Who’s married to my dad. And now my dad is mad at me because I didn’t tell him.”

“You didn’t want him to know?” Sebastian asks. Kurt glares at him as if he’s stupid.

“Of course I want him to know, but I wanted to break it to him in a better way than his stepson saying ‘hey, you know the guy that slushied Blaine last year? Kurt’s dating him’,” he says. “Now I’m not talking to him until he realizes that I probably wouldn’t date a guy who hates me.”

“I don’t hate you,” Sebastian says. Kurt gives him that glare again.

“Exactly my point.” He hooks his leg around Sebastian’s and pulls him forward. “Can we go back to what we were doing before?” he asks, adapting a look of innocence. Sebastian isn’t fooled, but he’s certainly not protesting, either.

“Sure, babe,” he says, making his way across the couch until he’s leaning over Kurt. “Whatever you want.”

* * *

“ _Be quiet_ ,” Sebastian hisses. He straightens up to be able to put a hand over Kurt’s mouth, the other one already occupied by fucking into his pussy. Kurt groans when Sebastian scissors his fingers, then he licks the palm covering his mouth and _fuck it_ if that sensation doesn’t go straight to Sebastian’s cock, making it twitch in his boxers. Judging by the evil glint in Kurt’s eyes, he knows perfectly well what he’s doing.

They’re in Kurt’s bedroom, and Alex is in the next room. He probably knows what they’re doing, but they still don’t have to make it glaringly obvious with Kurt’s wanton moaning.

Kurt tries to say something, but Sebastian’s hand is muffling the words. He slows down the fingers pushing in and out of Kurt’s wet heat, then hesitantly pulls his hand off of Kurt’s mouth.

“Fuck me,” Kurt says, probably repeats.

Sebastian does his very best to keep his mouth from falling open. His fingers are completely still now and he’s staring at Kurt in the dim light. He didn’t expect Kurt to want it, and he definitely didn’t expect him to be so blunt about it.

“Wh-- are you sure?” he asks. He wants do, oh does he want to, but he needs to make sure that _Kurt_ is sure.

Kurt nods. “Yes. _Please_ ,” he adds, for emphasis, and tries to fuck himself onto Sebastian’s fingers. Sebastian looks down and pulls out his fingers completely, instantly regretting that decision when it earns him a high whine from Kurt. He leans down to kiss him, swallowing the last of the sound, and wipes his fingers on Kurt’s thigh.

“Babe, you have to be really quiet if we’re gonna do this,” he says against Kurt’s lips, keeping his voice low. “If you’re not quiet, I’ll stop. Okay?” He doesn’t move until Kurt nods, then he kisses him again before easing back. “You have a condom?” he asks. Kurt shakes his head and Sebastian’s face falls, but then Kurt rolls his eyes.

“I’m clean, you’re clean, I can’t get pregnant,” he hisses. “Seriously, if we’re going to catch anything, it’s probably done by now anyway.” Even in the dim light, Sebastian can see him blushing, and he knows Kurt’s thinking back to some of their filthier times. He does have a point.

“Okay,” he says, and stands up to remove his underwear. His cock is throbbing and leaking and he’s _finally going to fuck Kurt_. He kneels between Kurt’s spread legs and drapes himself over him, leaning in to kiss him hard and deep. His cock is rubbing against Kurt’s wet pussy, but he’s not pushing in, not _yet_.

“Promise you’ll be quiet?” he murmurs between kisses, barely giving Kurt a chance to reply. Kurt nods and inhales shakily - he’s nervous. Sebastian reaches down to stroke his pussy again, his hand rubbing against his own cock and making him hiss, but he needs to-- “Relax,” he whispers. “Fuck, you’re so wet Kurt.” He slides two fingers in without any resistance, proving his point, swallowing Kurt’s gasp of pleasure. “You’re so wet and so open and it’ll feel so good, just--” he grasps his cock and aligns it with Kurt’s hole. He pushes the head in, and he really hopes that Alex is a heavy sleeper, because Kurt’s whine is _loud_ , even against Sebastian’s mouth.

“ _Quiet_ ,” Sebastian reminds him, stilling himself even though all he wants to do is push in, again and again and again. Kurt clutches at his bicep, his nails digging into Sebastian’s skin, but he takes a deep breath and presses his lips together. He meets Sebastian’s eyes and nods, wordlessly promising that he’ll be quiet. Sebastian gives one short nod back, then glances down to where he’s pressing his cock into _Kurt’s pussy, fucking hell_ and he needs to stop thinking if he wants to make it past two thrusts. There’s movement above his head, and when he looks up Kurt is biting into his own hand to keep himself from screaming. Sebastian stills again.

“Are you okay?” he asks, ignoring the sweat that’s starting to collect on his neck. Kurt nods frantically.

“Just... slow?” he says, voice a bit muffled against his hand, but the words coming through clear enough. Sebastian almost laughs, because, _slow_? But he knows he has to try, so he takes a deep breath and pushes in, slowly. When he’s bottomed out, he looks up at Kurt again. His eyes are closed, but he doesn’t seem to be in any pain, so Sebastian pulls out slowly and pushes in again, a bit faster this time. Kurt moans against his hand and thrusts his hips upwards and Sebastian takes that as the _all clear_ signal he’s been looking for and starts to fuck him faster, more purposefully. It’s wet and hot and _oh so tight_ and it’s better than anything Sebastian has ever done. He has never been this hard ever in his life.

His movements have reduced Kurt to whimpers, and if it weren’t for the still iron-tight grip on his arm and the fluid constantly leaking out around Sebastian’s cock and coating his balls and dripping down on the sheet, he would be worried. Now he knows they’re sounds of pleasure, and he’s so _pleased_ with himself that he’s managed to do this to Kurt, that he’s the _only_ one who’s _ever_ done this to Kurt.

Suddenly, the grip on his arm disappears, and when he looks down, Kurt has brought his hand down to touch himself. Sebastian almost goes cross eyed at the sight, Kurt is rubbing himself furiously while Sebastian is fucking him and fuck, Sebastian is no longer in control of his actions. He fucks Kurt hard and fast, his grip on the sheets slipping inch by inch, the feeling of Kurt’s fingertips when he slips and rubs against the base of Sebastian’s cock making his breath hitch.

He bends down to capture Kurt’s mouth in a kiss. It’s wet and sloppy, teeth clinking and tongues that aren’t coordinated, but it doesn’t matter, he just needs to _feel_ and _taste_ and then he pushes in again, hard. Kurt shouts into his mouth and his hand stills and everything gets even wetter and _that’s it_ , Sebastian comes, too, shooting inside of Kurt. He rests his forehead on Kurt’s shoulder, panting onto his sweat-slicked skin while riding out the last of his orgasm.

“Oh my god,” Kurt says weakly when they’ve both caught their breath. Sebastian huffs out a laugh.

“Yeah.”

Kurt moves his legs and makes a displeased noise.

“I’m sticky,” he says, wrinkling his nose. Sebastian nuzzles his jaw.

“Mhm. That happens.”

“Don’t wanna get up,” Kurt says and yawns. Sebastian moves until most of his weight is on the bed, not on Kurt, but still keeping his arm wrapped around him.

“Then don’t,” he says. “Clean up tomorrow, babe. Now sleep.”

“‘m gonna regret this,” Kurt mumbles, but he’s already curling up against Sebastian. Yes, Sebastian knows that Kurt will most likely throw a fit at the state of his sheets tomorrow, but by then Sebastian will be armed with the best distraction ever. _Sex_.


	11. Chapter 10

“What do you want for your birthday?” Kurt asks. Sebastian twists his head to look at him. It’s Saturday, they don’t have anywhere to be, so they’re spending the morning in Sebastian’s bed. 

“You?” Sebastian tries cheekily. Kurt sighs, somewhere between impatient and annoyed. 

“Seriously,” he says. “What do you want?” 

“Seriously,” Sebastian mimics and raises himself up on one elbow to be able to lean down and kiss Kurt. “I don’t want anything.” 

“Sebastian.” 

“Kurt.” 

“Nothing? Not even like...I don’t know. Don’t you have any fantasies, or something?” 

Sebastian raises an eyebrow, amused. 

“Fantasies?” he asks. “Are you sure you want to hear about my _fantasies_?” 

Kurt swallows audibly, but meets his eyes with a determined look. 

“Yeah.” 

Sebastian lies down again, his mouth close to Kurt’s ear. He can’t really look at Kurt now, and he _knows_ that Kurt won’t be able to look him in the eyes. 

“I want you to tie me up,” he says, his voice low and smooth. Kurt’s breath hitches. “And I want you to touch yourself.” He slides a hand over Kurt’s bare stomach. “Until you’re wet. And then I want you to sit on my face.” He slides his hand further down, grazes his fingers where Kurt is already getting slick. “I’m gonna lick you.” He darts his tongue out to lick Kurt’s earlobe, smiles at the way his whole body shudders at the two-point stimulation. 

“You’re gonna ride my face and _fuck my tongue_.” Sebastian kisses the skin below Kurt’s ear and Kurt moans, loudly. 

“Mm, you want that? You want to be in charge?” 

“ _Sebastian_.” 

“Mm, I want to taste you.” He nips on Kurt’s earlobe. “I want you to just take what you want.” Kurt grabs Sebastian’s wrist and tries to get him to stroke him harder, _more_ , but Sebastian resists. 

“Not now,” Sebastian scolds, gently, pushing Kurt’s hand away. “ _I_ decide now.” He moves his hand back to Kurt’s pussy, stroking the folds gently. 

“Coming is optional,” he continues. 

“Thought I was in charge,” Kurt pants, writhing on the bed, still trying to get Sebastian to touch him more. 

“You are. But it’s still my fantasy.” He kisses Kurt on the mouth, but withdraws before it deepens. “You can come, or not, but we’re not done. You’ll slide down and straddle me. I’ll be _so fucking hard_ because you know how much eating you out turns me on.” 

“You could do it now,” Kurt suggests, arching his hips up in vain. 

“And you’ll tease,” Sebastian continues, as if Kurt hasn’t said anything. He puts a bit more pressure on Kurt’s wet folds now. “Rub your wet cunt against my hard cock.” He slides his fingers between the folds, pressing against Kurt’s opening. “I will be desperate and _begging_ , until you _finally_ reach down and let my cock into you.” He slides two fingers into Kurt, who keens and arches his hips up again, more successful this time. 

“And then you fuck me,” Sebastian says into his ear, using his fingers to illustrate the sensation. “Slow and steady or hard and fast, however you want. Probably both. Just as long as you drag it out as long as possible.” He slides his fingers out, just teasing around the opening now. 

“Just _fuck me_ ,” Kurt pants. Sebastian smiles and leans in to kiss him. 

“I want you to come on my cock,” he whispers, pushing his fingers into Kurt again roughly. His cock is currently rock hard and leaking, digging into Kurt’s hip, but he’s not planning on fucking him, no matter how much Kurt begs. Well, maybe for round two. He fucks him with his fingers for now, determined to make him come from that alone. It’s not impossible, far from. Sebastian twists his fingers, rubs his thumb against Kurt’s clit, and nips gently on his neck; that spot that drives Kurt crazy. It’s an almost foolproof trick to get him off and it is turning Sebastian on _so fucking much_ that he’s the only one who knows how to do this to Kurt. It works now, too, and Kurt moans ridiculously loud while thrusting against Sebastian’s hand, riding out his orgasm. 

“Fuuck,” Kurt breathes out, catching up with his own breathing and staring up at the ceiling. “ _That’s_ what you want for your birthday?” he asks and turns to look at Sebastian. “What would _you_ get out of that?” 

“Hopefully an orgasm or two?” Sebastian says, thrusting his pelvis a bit so that his cock rubs against Kurt’s hip. Kurt smirks at him and reaches down to grasp it, stroking it firmly. 

“Yeah? You really think you can let me tie you up, have my way with you, _and_ let you come?” he leans in to kiss Sebastian gently on the lips. “Why?” 

“Because I’m hot?” Sebastian tries, fucking into Kurt’s fist. 

“And so humble,” Kurt retorts. He rubs his thumb over Sebastian’s slit and Sebastian is _close_ , he just narrated a fucking _sex dream_ to his boyfriend, but then suddenly Kurt’s hand is gone. Sebastian’s eyes fly open and widen when he sees Kurt reach down between his legs and drag his fingers between his folds, coating his hand with juices, before bringing it back down to Sebastian’s cock and grasping it once more. 

It is _too fucking much_ for Sebastian, he comes hard, coating Kurt’s already wet hand and panting into his neck. He barely has time to catch his breath though before it gets stuck in his throat, when Kurt brings his sticky hand up to his mouth and starts to clean up the mess with his own tongue. Sebastian groans and closes his eyes because Kurt is licking both of their come off of his own hand and Sebastian’s cock is _not_ good to go again so soon. 

But he can’t _not_ watch, either, so he cracks his eyelids open and gazes at Kurt under his eyelashes. 

“Never would’ve pegged you for the kind,” he says, nodding, to where Kurt is clearly enjoying himself. At Sebastian’s words, however, he flushes and lowers his hand. 

“I didn’t say you had to stop,” Sebastian reassures him. “I’m just surprised.” Well, not _that_ surprised - Kurt has blown him a fair amount of times after all, but he figures Kurt knows what he means. 

“I’m... not,” Kurt says, confirming Sebastian’s hope. “Or I wasn’t. I didn’t know. Blaine--” Kurt takes a breath. He always has to steady himself before bringing Blaine up. Sebastian doesn’t like it. “He wouldn’t kiss me, if I did. Swallow. Or.“ Kurt makes a vague gesture and shrugs. “You know.” 

Sebastian smiles at him, grabs his hand and sucks his thumb into his mouth. Their combined taste goes straight to his cock, and yeah, round two isn’t far off. “He wouldn’t kiss you if you licked his come off of your hand when you’d jerked him off, even though it turns _you_ on,” he says, not making it a question. 

Kurt’s breath hitches, again, and Sebastian does that to him, without even trying. Much. 

“Yeah,” he says breathlessly. “Something like that.” 

“His loss,” Sebastian mutters. He’s tired of Blaine still being this much of a deal to Kurt; he doesn’t like it. He doesn’t know how to bring it up, though. He doesn’t want to come across as jealous because he is _definitely not_ jealous of Blaine ( _Sebastian_ is the one who’s lying naked next to a naked Kurt--why would he be jealous?), but he doesn’t want to come across as controlling, either. Doesn’t want to be that guy who tells his boyfriend who to talk to, text, or see. 

He needs to do something, though, because Kurt is hurting, and Blaine is an ass. 

* * *

The opportunity presents itself a week later. Kurt has been distant the whole week, not answering his calls or texts, but Sebastian has no idea what he possibly can have done wrong, so he heads over as decided. If he _has_ done something, it’ll probably be easier to get back into Kurt’s good graces if he’s actually with him. 

“What are you doing here?” Kurt asks, and okay, they probably could have had a better start. 

“I’m coming over. Like we decided,” Sebastian says, keeping his tone neutral. 

“Yeah, but--” Kurt starts, but then stops himself. Sebastian arches an eyebrow. 

“Why?” he supplies. He takes off his shoes and coat without being invited and leans down to press a kiss to Kurt’s lips. “I guess you’ll have to find out,” he says with a wink and walks into the living room. 

Kurt’s phone is laying on the couch, and Sebastian suddenly has a very good idea what this is about. He grabs the phone before Kurt can react; he’s seen him press the lock code enough times that he remembers it, and when Kurt says “ _Hey!_ ,” he’s already scrolling through texts from Blaine. They’re sent throughout the week, at different times, but mostly at night. 

(11.12 pm)  
 **Blaine:** _Are you seriously dating Sebastian?_

(1.45 pm)  
 **Blaine:** _Kurt, do you remember what he did to me?_

(2.30 am)  
 **Blaine:** _Do you really think he’d go for someone like you?_

(10.18 pm)  
 **Blaine:** _Does he even know about you? Do you really think he’d be okay with it?_

(7.23 pm)  
 **Blaine:** _You’re not exactly like the other MEN he dates_

(8.56 pm)  
 **Blaine:** _It’s never gonna last_

There are more, but Sebastian has had enough. Kurt hasn’t replied to any of them, and with a few clicks, Sebastian has removed their whole texting history. 

“That fucking little _hobbit_ ,” he grits out and throws the phone on the couch where it bounces a couple of times. Kurt grabs it before it falls off the couch and looks incredulously at Sebastian. 

“I have no idea why you and Santana aren’t friends,” he mutters. 

“Because she has a vagina,” Sebastian replies, without thinking. Then he freezes. He turns to look at Kurt and he can _see_ him closing in on himself and he sighs. “Kurt, babe, come on, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, you have to know that by now.” Kurt doesn’t say anything. Sebastian shuffles over on the couch and puts one arm around Kurt’s shoulders. 

“You don’t believe Blaine, do you?” he asks, even though he knows the answer. “I think it’s pretty obvious by now that I like you. _All_ of you.” Shamelessly, he slides a hand between Kurt’s legs, cupping him through his pants. “This too.” Kurt squirms and pushes his hand away. 

“But--” 

“Santana has boobs. And honestly, I just think she’s vile. It’s not because--that. Why do you even listen to what Blaine says? Like, I know he’s fucked with your brain, but you can’t... Kurt, you _have_ to know that what he wrote isn’t true. I know about you, and I’m here. I’m-- I’m better that what he gives me credit for.” 

“But he’s just--” 

“Why haven’t you blocked him? Or told him to quit?” 

“I told you, he’s stubborn.” 

“Kurt, this isn’t stubborn, this is stalker. He’s hurting you. Block him.” 

Kurt opens his mouth, but Sebastian interrupts him before he can even get a word out this time. 

“And no, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but Kurt, seriously? This is like dating you _and_ Blaine, and that is not what I signed up for. If you won’t block him, I’ll...,” He trails off, not wanting to say it out loud, but Kurt seems to get him, because his eyes widen. 

“That’s blackmail,” he says. “Are you jealous?” 

Sebastian stares at him. 

“Jealous? Yeah, I’m definitely jealous of the idiot who makes my boyfriend feel like crap. Extremely jealous.” Sebastian slumps back on the couch and crosses his arms over his chest, not looking at Kurt. 

“Okay, fine, I’ll fucking block him,” Kurt mutters. “Just--he meant a lot to me, for a while.” 

“I know. But this is not good, for either of you.” 

“Yeah.” 

They’re silent for a while, until Sebastian realizes just how silent it actually is. 

“Where’s Alex?” he asks. Kurt shrugs. 

“Out. I think he got a booty call. He’s not coming home tonight, at least.” 

“A booty call?” Sebastian echoes. “Really?” 

“I don’t know! He got a phone call, smiled creepily, and told me not to wait up.” 

“Yeah, okay, that totally sounds like a booty call. Does that mean we have the place to ourselves?” 

“Yeah...?” Kurt confirms wearily. “Why?” 

Sebastian crawls across the couch again, leaning in to whisper in Kurt’s ear. 

“Because then you won’t have to keep quiet.” 

* * *

They kiss until their lips are sore. They are still on the couch, with Sebastian on top of Kurt, and Kurt has tried to take this further a couple of times but Sebastian refuses. He knows that Kurt is still unsure, so he’s going to _prove_ to him that this is the real deal. He’s stuck with Sebastian, until he outright tells him to fuck off. 

Even then, Sebastian isn’t sure he would be able to stay away. 

Finally, Kurt has had enough. He breaks away from Sebastian’s mouth and glares at him. 

“Are we gonna move past the point of making out at _some_ point this evening?” he asks, clearly exasperated. 

“Careful, Hummel,” Sebastian teases. “One could almost think you only want me for my body.” 

“Yeah, but you do remember how all of this started, don’t you?” Kurt replies and arches his hips up, rubbing his crotch against Sebastian’s hard on. He’s nineteen and has been kissing his boyfriend for an hour, it would be weird if he _wasn’t_ hard. 

“Don’t remind me,” Sebastian mutters, bending lower to nip at Kurt’s neck. “Not that I’m complaining, because,” he meets Kurt’s next thrust with one of his own as a way of explanation, “but I’ve been seriously scared of turning around in a coffee shop since then.” 

Kurt laughs, and grabs Sebastian’s head, guiding him to where his neck is the most sensitive, twisting his head to give him more room. 

“Serves you right. I liked that shirt. And my sketches.” He pushes Sebastian’s head back down when he tries to apologize again. “Now that we’ve established that I only want you for your body, would you please let me use it?” 

“Why?” Sebastian asks, having worked his way up to Kurt’s ear. “Are you wet? Do you want me to fuck you?” He feels Kurt’s body shiver underneath him at his words and smiles into Kurt’s skin. “Do you want me to make you come, right here on the couch?” 

“Noo, not the couch,” Kurt protests, but it’s weak. “Alex will kill me.” 

“He doesn’t have to know.” Sebastian slides a hand down between them, tugging at Kurt’s fly. He unbuttons and unzips, and gets his hand down to stroke through Kurt’s underwear, fingers trailing over his packer and down below where he’s wet enough to soak through. 

“Fuck, you _are_ wet,” Sebastian murmurs, pressing his fingers a bit harder. Kurt arches his hips and the movement causes Sebastian to cup the packer. “Have you ever fucked yourself with this?” Sebastian asks, before he can even think it through. 

“Mhm,” Kurt answers distractedly, still trying to get more of Sebastian’s fingers where he actually can feel them. 

Sebastian stops abruptly. “You have?” 

Kurt blinks at him. “Yeah,” he says and blushes. “Only after--” he waves his hand between them. “But yeah.” 

“I don’t know how you do it,” Sebastian says and leans in to kiss him. “But every time I think you can’t possibly get any hotter, you say or do something that’s just...fuck.” He presses his fingers against Kurt’s pussy again, then, “Show me.” 

“What?” Kurt squeaks. 

“Show me,” Sebastian repeats. “I wanna see you do it.” 

“What, here? Now?!” 

“No, tomorrow, now I wanna watch _My Little Pony_ ,” Sebastian deadpans. Kurt huffs out a laugh. 

“But, the couch,” he says again, even though he’s crawling out of his jeans at the same time. Sebastian rolls his eyes and pulls off his sweatshirt and t-shirt in one go. 

“Lift up,” he says, smacking Kurt lightly on the hip. Kurt obeys, and Sebastian places the shirts under his ass, then helps him get out of his jeans. Sebastian will probably never be able to use these shirts again without getting hard, but it’s a sacrifice he’s willing to make. For the greater good, etcetera. 

He settles on the other end of the couch, his back against the armrest and one foot on the floor, his legs spread. Kurt is looking at him with a nervous expression, like he’s unsure of what to do. He still has his underwear on, light grey boxer-briefs, and Sebastian can see the dark wet spot where his pussy is soaked. He shoves a hand down his own pants and squeezes his cock. 

“Come on, babe,” he says. “Just...do what you do when I’m not here.” 

“What’s the point?” Kurt asks, fingers trailing down his stomach. “You _are_ here. You can fuck me for real.” 

“No, I wanna see you do this. I’ll fuck you later, don’t worry, but I wanna see this, too.” 

“You are so weird,” Kurt mutters, before he eases his underwear off, and suddenly he’s laying half-naked on the couch, exposing himself beautifully to Sebastian. 

“You like me anyway,” Sebastian replies, palming himself through his pants. 

“Apparently,” Kurt says, biting his lip and grabbing the rubber dick, pressing it against his folds. “Can you take off your pants?” he asks Sebastian. 

“What, so I’m naked while you still have your shirt on?” 

“I’m a bit--” Kurt brings his other hand down to finger himself, one at first. “--Mm, a bit _preoccupied_.” 

Sebastian stares, open-mouthed, at his previously oh-so-innocent boyfriend. Then he snaps back into it. 

“Fair enough,” he says and stands up to remove his pants. If he’s getting the show of his life, he might as well be naked enough to enjoy it completely. He sits down on the couch again and grabs his cock, jerking it with slow, lazy strokes while watching Kurt. 

Kurt presses another finger in, still rubbing the packer against his clit and between his folds. 

“You _have_ done this before,” Sebastian says, honestly a bit surprised. Not that he thinks Kurt lied, but he’s obviously done this at least a couple of times before. 

“You’re not here all the time,” Kurt says of a way of explanation. He spreads his legs, finger fucking himself with a little bit more force. Sebastian speeds up the pace of his own jerking. 

“I’m never leaving you alone again.” 

Kurt smiles, but it turns into a moan when he hits a spot inside himself. 

“Fuck, Kurt, you’re _so hot_ ,” Sebastian says, kind of overwhelmed at the live porn that’s playing out a few feet apart from him. Kurt is wet, he’s dripping down on Sebastian’s shirts and yeah, no, he’s never using them again, ever. 

“So elaborate,” Kurt gasps, finally sliding the packer inside. “Can you just--” he cuts himself off with another moan. Sebastian gets it though, releasing his cock and crawling across the couch to get to Kurt. He crashes their mouths together, reaches down to slide a finger into Kurt, along with the rubber dick, taking it from Kurt’s grip. 

“You want me to continue, or you want me to fuck you?” he asks, his face so close to Kurt’s that their lips almost touch when he talks. 

“Fuck me,” Kurt says, grabbing Sebastian’s ass and pulling him down so that Sebastian’s cock is rubbing against where he’s still fucking into Kurt. At Kurt’s request though, he slides it out, grabs his cock, and pushes in, without preamble. 

“ _Yes_ ,” Kurt groans, locking his ankles on Sebastian’s back, holding him close. “Come on, deeper.” 

Sebastian obeys, gladly fucking into Kurt deeper, while reveling in the fact that he _has_ gotten more vocal. He’s sliding in and out easily, everything wet and slick and _awesome_ and he wants to stay here, in Kurt, forever. Kurt seems to feel the same, if the way he’s got his legs deadlocked around Sebastian’s hips is any indication. 

Sebastian bends down to kiss him; it’s messy and teeth clicking and really not good at all, but Kurt clutches his neck and moans into it so Sebastian figures he must be doing something right. He’s close, the hour of making out followed by watching Kurt touch himself didn’t really leave him unaffected, but the thing that brings him over the edge is when Kurt reaches down to rub his clit, desperate to get off. Sebastian feels it more than sees it, but just _knowing_ that Kurt is that desperate, that _Sebastian_ has made him that desperate, makes him thrust erratically a few times before pushing in hard and coming. 

Kurt tries to continue to fuck himself on Sebastian’s dick, but Sebastian just doesn’t have it in him right now, so he withdraws, much to Kurt’s vocalized dismay. 

“Shh, easy babe, come on, turn this way,” Sebastian soothes, getting down on his knees in front of the couch and grabbing Kurt’s leg to turn him, settling himself between Kurt’s legs, staring at his swollen, wet pussy. Sebastian’s come is already leaking out of him and Kurt’s hand is hovering above the mound, as if he’s unsure if he’s allowed to touch himself anymore. Sebastian doesn’t waste much time before he leans in, licking a long stripe from Kurt’s ass up to his clit, tasting his own come and Kurt’s juices on his tongue. 

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Kurt moans, surprised and turned on. He grabs Sebastian’s head with both hands, pressing him closer, guiding him to where he wants his lips and mouth and tongue. Sebastian licks into him greedily, both for Kurt’s benefit but also to get as much taste as possible. Kurt doesn’t exactly complain. Sebastian swallows and moans, the vibrations making Kurt moan in return. It only takes a couple of more swipes of his tongue, the tip flicking over Kurt’s clit, until Kurt’s is moaning, almost yelling, and riding out his orgasm against Sebastian’s face. 

He slumps back on the couch, panting hard and watching Sebastian wipe his face through hooded eyes. 

“That was good,” he says, looking completely debauched with his legs still spread wide and the mess of mingled come and juices spread out on the shirts underneath him. Sebastian can’t do anything but agree. 

“Yeah.” 

“If we move to the bed, can we do it again?” 

“ _Fuck_ yeah.” 

* * *

They move to the bedroom, where Kurt gets down on his knees and blows Sebastian until _his_ knees almost give out. Right before Sebastian comes, Kurt pushes him back on the bed and straddles him, Sebastian’s cock sliding easily into Kurt with the still-remaining come and saliva. Sebastian lasts a little longer this time, but not much, because Kurt is pretty fucking skilled with his mouth. He comes, and Kurt continues to fuck himself on his cock, but Sebastian reaches out and grabs his hips, dragging him up across his stomach and chest until Kurt gets the point and straddles his face instead. 

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Kurt moans, bracing himself against the wall. “Oh god I can totally see why this is a fantasy of yours just _oh god right there fuck yes_ \--” He rides his orgasm out on Sebastian’s face, then collapses beside him, reaching out to drag his thumb through the mess on Sebastian’s face. 

They come one more time, almost fucking themselves to sleep, laying on their sides with Sebastian gently rocking into Kurt from behind. 

* * *

Sebastian wakes up hard, with Kurt semi-consciously rubbing his wet cunt against his thigh. Sebastian flips him over onto his back and hovers over him, placing feather-light kisses on his neck and jaw, until Kurt wakes up fully and smiles at him. 

“Morning,” he says, voice rough from sleep and probably from what they did last night. 

“Morning,” Sebastian replies. He rubs his cock against Kurt’s thigh. “Sex?” he asks, hopeful. Kurt laughs, and the roughness of that sound goes straight to Sebastian’s cock and he groans, burying his face in Kurt’s neck. 

“Yes,” Kurt replies, and Sebastian kisses the skin under his lips as a thanks. 

“Hands and knees, baby,” he murmurs in Kurt’s ear, backing of let him comply. Kurt buries his head in the pillows, arching his back and fucking _presenting_ himself to Sebastian. It really is ridiculously hot. 

In the corner of his eye, Sebastian registers a light. He glances at the bedside table, and sure enough - Kurt’s phone. Sebastian bets his own ass that it’s Blaine, and he suddenly has an idea. He strokes down Kurt’s back with one hand, while reaching for Kurt’s phone with the other. Blaine’s text is right there, _Kurt please call me_ , and yeah, the hobbit is in for the biggest surprise of his life. Sebastian enters the passcode and brings Blaine’s name, pressing _Call Contact_. He puts the speaker on silent and puts the phone back on the table, all while managing to keep Kurt distracted. He leans forward, brushing his lips against the shell of Kurt’s ear. 

“Come on, be loud. I want to hear you,” he mumbles, just loud enough for Kurt to hear. 

“I want _you_ to _fuck me_ ,” Kurt shoots back, moaning loudly when Sebastian slides two fingers into his pussy. Sebastian glances on the phone again, Blaine has picked up. _Brilliant_. 

“Yeah, you want my fingers?” Sebastian asks, deliberately teasing with two fingers, even though Kurt is still both wet and loose enough for more, for his cock. 

“Noo, I want to--fuck, Sebastian, stop teasing, I’m already--” He falters, can’t bring himself to say it, still. Sebastian smirks and looks at the phone again. Blaine hasn’t hung up. 

“Already what?” Sebastian prompts. “Wet? Loose? _Tell me_ ,” he says and slides another finger in. Kurt takes a deep breath. 

“I still have your come inside of me, I’m wet enough for your cock, now _please fuck me_ ,” he says through gritted teeth, trying to push back on the fingers in his pussy. Blaine still hasn’t disconnected the call. Sebastian smiles. 

“Okay,” he says, and obeys. 

* * *

Hundreds of miles away, Blaine Anderson is standing in the middle of a mall with his cell phone clutched to his ear in a death grip and a hard on that _really_ isn’t as discreet as he’d hoped. 

_Karma is a bitch._


	12. Epilogue

One night in May, Kurt and Sebastian are laying in bed, sweaty and sated and exhausted and _close_. Sebastian’s chest is pressed against Kurt’s back, his arm wrapped around Kurt’s waist. 

Kurt has almost drifted off to sleep when he remembers the letter he got earlier in the week and smiles. 

“How do you feel about weddings?” he asks. He feels Sebastian stiffen behind him, and smiles even wider. This is too easy. 

“Uhm. They’re nice?” Sebastian says, probably aiming for neutral but failing. 

“Yeah?” Kurt cuddles in closer, reveling in the warmth and comfort of Sebastian’s embrace, even though it’s stiff right now. 

“Yes?” Sebastian still sounds unsure. 

“You know, you took my virginity, so...,” Kurt trails off, and Sebastian’s arm disappears from his waist. 

“Kurt,” Sebastian says, keeping his voice low and steady. 

Kurt turns around, smiling sweetly. “Will you be my plus one to Mercedes’ wedding in July?” 

The amount of tension that disappears from Sebastian’s body is laughable. 

“Yeah, no, _that’s_ not happening,” Kurt says, leaning in to kiss him. “Will you, though?” 

Sebastian shrugs. “Sure. As long as your friends won’t beat me up when we arrive.” 

Kurt smiles and kisses him again. “Thanks. And I _told you_ , they’re fine with it. Even Finn.” 

“Is Blaine coming?” Sebastian asks wearily. 

“I don’t think so. I mean, it’s Mercedes’ wedding and she’s inviting most of the Glee Club, but yeah, she was there when we...yeah. I don’t think he’s coming. Besides, he would probably be too embarrassed to talk to any of us.” Kurt had found out about the phone call when Blaine’s texts suddenly stopped, without Kurt blocking him. Sebastian had told him, and Kurt had been mortified for a few seconds before laughing until he cried. 

Sebastian slides his hand back around Kurt’s waist. “Good.” 

* * *

“Why are they even getting married now?” Sebastian asks when they’re in the car on their way to the ceremony. “Aren’t they a little...young?” 

Kurt snorts and taps his fingers on the steering wheel in time to the radio. 

“Maybe. But they seem to be real, you know? Not like Rachel and Finn. I’ve only met this guy once, but it still feels like today or in ten years doesn’t really matter, it’s going to happen anyway.” 

“Okay, whatever, I’m just glad we’re checking into a hotel tonight,” Sebastian says with a wink, leaning back in his seat. Kurt heaves an exaggerated sigh. 

“I knew I shouldn’t have bribed you with sex,” he mutters playfully. In truth, he’s as excited about it as Sebastian, and Sebastian knows this. 

Burt had gotten his act together pretty quickly once he realized Kurt was serious, and while they are officially staying there during their visit, neither of them wants to have sex in Kurt’s old bedroom. Since Mercedes’ wedding is across town, they decided to stay at the hotel along with the guests from L.A. 

“But I like sex,” Sebastian says. 

“I know, I do too, but I would prefer it if we didn’t talk about it while we’re here,” Kurt replies, steering into the parking lot in front of the church. 

“What, are you ashamed of me?” Sebastian teases while he unbuckles himself. Kurt does the same and leans over the console, grabs Sebastian’s face in his hands and kisses him, sweet and slow. 

“Not at all.” 

* * *

They’re seated pretty far up front, Mercedes doesn’t have that much family and Kurt is one of her closest friends. Still, the church is pretty packed, because the guy she’s marrying has a bigger family, and a big portion of her church is here for the ceremony. The girls from Glee are bridesmaids, so Kurt won’t meet them until afterwards, and the guys are a bit hard to spot amongst the sea of people. 

The ceremony goes without a hitch. Kurt even keeps himself from cringing when the priest talks, but he can’t keep the surprise out of his features when it’s time for the prayer and Sebastian joins his hands and recites along with the rest of the crowd. 

They’re not in a rush to get out of their seats when the ceremony is over. Kurt is silent, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth and fiddling with the hem of his jacked. Finally, Sebastian picks up on it. 

“What’s the matter?” he asks, keeping his voice carefully low. 

“I didn’t know you...,” Kurt trails off, he doesn’t know how to say it, because he doesn’t know what Sebastian _is_. 

“I’m not. Not--I was raised as a Christian. The--” He lifts one of his hands. “-- it’s more like second nature. And out of respect. But I’m not really-- _believing_.” 

“Does that mean you want to get married in a church?” Kurt blurts before he can stop himself, because that’s what worries him the most. Not that he’s thinking about weddings, or marrying Sebastian (yet), but he can deal with being somewhat religious, just not... 

“Is that a proposal?” Sebastian asks, one eyebrow raised, his voice only half-teasing. 

“No,” Kurt says, honestly. “I love you just fine without promising it to _God and all these people_ or whatever. And besides, it feels pretty disrespectful to get married in the name of someone you don’t believe in, just because ‘everyone else’ does it.” He glances over at Sebastian, who’s completely silent. “Did I offend you? I’m sorry, that wasn’t--” 

“You love me?” Sebastian interrupts, looking at Kurt almost shyly. Kurt thinks back on his words and blushes. 

“Yeah. I- I do. I’m...that’s not how I wanted to say it, I--” 

“I love you, too. And I don’t want to get married in a church. And not for another five years, anyway. And now I want to find a bathroom so I can kiss you.” 

Kurt blushes, for a whole other reason. 

“Fine by me.” 

* * *

“Did you know that the word ‘gift’ means both ‘married’ and ‘poison’ in Swedish?” Sebastian asks as they’re walking over to the Jones’ house, where the reception is to be held. 

“No, I did not,” Kurt says, highly amused. “And I didn’t know you spoke Swedish, either.” 

“I don’t,” Sebastian admits. “But I fucked a Swedish guy when I was in France.” 

Kurt raises an eyebrow, unimpressed. 

“You did not,” he says. 

“No, I didn’t. But my aunt had a Swedish exchange student living there for a couple of months when I was there. I picked up on a few things.” 

“Like the word for poison and married,” Kurt says, back to being amused. “Okay, Now I kn--” He doesn’t get any further before he’s being crunched half to death by Tina. 

“I’ve missed you so much!” she squeals, straight into Kurt’s ear, making him wince, but smile. He hugs her back and tells her he’s missed her too, because he has. He has missed almost all of his old friends. Tina steps back, one hand still on his shoulder, and looks at Sebastian. She smiles, and it looks genuine. 

“You’ll have to tell me all about this later,” she says and squeezes his shoulder. “I need to be off again, but we’ll talk more later, okay?” Kurt nods, she smiles again, at Sebastian too, and then she’s off. 

“Come on,” Kurt says and grabs Sebastian’s hand. “Let’s go find the others.” 

* * *

Between the main course and the cake, it’s Kurt’s turn to hold a speech. He stands up and clears his throat, locking eyes with Mercedes and smiling. 

“Sophomore year, Mercedes had a crush,” he begins. Mercedes buries her face in her hands. “On me.” There is spread out laughter across the room, louder from their friends. “I let her believe that _I_ had a crush on Rachel, while in reality, I only had eyes for boys. I still do, but Mercedes have thankfully gotten over her crush on me. I hope.” More laughter. 

“Well, anyway, we’re a couple of years older now, a few experiences wiser, and I think we both know what love really is.” Kurt glances quickly at Sebastian next to him and gets a warm smile in return. “And I just...you’ve come so far from then, and I’m so proud of you, and I sound like your mother, and I love you,” Kurt says, tearing up. “In a completely platonic way,” he hastens to add, for another bit of comic relief. Mercedes has tears in her eyes, too. “Congratulations, both of you. I hope you’ll be happy,” he finishes, sincerely. Mercedes blows him a kiss and he blows one back before sitting back down. 

“Knows what love really is, huh?” Sebastian asks quietly as the conversation picks up again around them. Kurt blushes and stares down at his glass. Sebastian nudges his shin gently with his foot. “I love you, too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a lot of thanks to be handed out after finishing this thing. I realize that ~30k is not much in the world of fanfic, but it’s a pretty big deal to me, so. 
> 
>  
> 
> First and foremost: _The_ biggest thank you to you, the readers. Thanks for reading, for commenting, for liking, for reblogging, for reccing. It makes me insanely happy every time it happens, and I wouldn’t have gotten this far with this thing if I didn’t feel like I had someone who read it. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to OP for a brilliant prompt that really got me going. This started out as a tentative claim in May and ended up as a ten chapter, 30 000 word long fic in October. That’s a first for me, and it feels amazing. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to my betas, shawolxaddict and bononoh, for cleaning up my shit and making it readable. An extra thanks to bononoh for answering weird questions about US culture and giving feedback including comments like “I love your vagina”. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thanks to Anna, who read seven chapters of this story without realizing that she actually knew the author. Thanks to Malin, who cheers me on, always.
> 
>  
> 
> And, of course, thanks to Emy, who didn’t break up with me because of a non-conventional kink, and who has brainstormed with me since then, and just been amazing, as always. 
> 
>  
> 
> (And also, to Anna and Emy and to whomever else it may apply: Sorry for making you dislike Blaine. It really wasn’t my intention.)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [[Podfic] Handle Me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/896567) by [RsCreighton](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RsCreighton/pseuds/RsCreighton)




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